Hola Sober November

Hola Sober | Issue NO. 20

Have you seen great changes within your personal relationships in sobriety? Yes, my relationships have become more meaningful in sobriety, and I find I’m able to be more honest, and genuine as well. My whole life feels more meaningful and richer. Have there been other changes in your life? I am what you call a “ lapsed catholic ”. 12 years of catholic school, an altar boy for years. I even thought about the priesthood, but ultimately became very conflicted about the church and even God. Now, 40 years later, I am more spiritual than I have ever been. I pray. And I work every day on being a better person. I’ve definitely made progress, but to put it mildly, I have lots of room for progress. Do you have daily sober routines? I do have a sober routine, especially in the morning but every day I have to do the following, and I keep a log: -pray, meditate, do some spiritual reading, reach out to my sponsor, try to do something for someone else, and I keep a daily gratitude list. I am very consistent, not perfect but definitely consistent. Have you any advice for someone reading? At the risk of sounding cliche, anyone who does the work to get and stay sober is a hero to me, because I know how deep these addictions can run. And I know how hard it is to surrender. Have you heroes in this life? In my lifetime I would say Nelson Mandela to me. I was too young to remember MLK personally but he is also a hero to me. A sober tip for those reading that helped you? It’s ok to ask for help. In asking someone for help you are actually helping the very person you ask to help you. It may seem counterintuitive but it is absolutely true. A second tip: try to love yourself. I know it’s hard but you’re worth it Your favourite quote? I have an entire document of quotes I find helpful. Here’s one I read every day: “Ultimately our greatest joy is when we seek to do good for others ” -Desmond Tutu

Photo Courtesy of Ed Glavin

Where were you born and what is your sober date? I was born in the great city of Philadelphia. Specifically southwest Philly, in September of 1963. I’m 59 and weirdly proud of it! My sober date is July 20, 2013. When did your drinking start? My drinking career as well as some other habit forming recreational substances began for me as a sophomore in high school- so, age 15. I would say I was an out of control partier til roughly age 30 or 35 and then I settled in to a heavy daily drinker. Hungover every day. Every. Single. Day. Did you have a rock bottom or how did you find your way into 12-Step? I did not technically have a bottom, I tried for five years to control it. Then the catalyst for getting completely sober was when, a dear female friend who was also my boss, the president of the company I worked for, and a mentor of sorts, was fired. I felt that put my career in danger, so I felt I better do something drastic to try and keep my job. That woman , whose name is Hillary, is still a close friend of mine. Is finding a sponsor crucial to your success? In terms of a sponsor I can only speak for me and finding Seamus was THE key to my success. I now have a slightly wider circle of sober friends but it really begins and ends with Seamus. He was a person who wanted to help who had no expectations of getting anything in return in for helping me. Professionally has your sobriety helped or hindered your career or neither? My career imploded when I was 6/7 years sober which had nothing to do with my drinking. I had a job you could call “visible” over here in the U.S. and lost it as a result of negative stories in the press about me being a terrible boss and person. So at the moment I am still not working and may never work in my career again. But personally, and spiritually I feel as good as I have ever felt.

Hola Sober | Madrid

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