How can we, as a society, support those suffering when they are drinking too much? (Employers + Family) I actually have a free course for this. It is free to anyone who wants it. Just quickly send me an email to hello@thisnakedmind.com asking for access to the Helping a Loved One course. How has your physical self changed being alcohol- free; has there been any difference to your confidence and self-esteem? I look significantly better than I ever have. I look younger, my eyes are clearer, my teeth are whiter, and my skin is much better and healthier. I just feel very confident in my own skin, which is great. Have you seen great changes within your personal relationships post your decision to go alcohol-free? They have all improved significantly. I think right at the beginning I was such an advocate for an alcohol-free lifestyle that it was rough for some of my relationships before I realized that nobody wants to be preached to. Now that I have gotten over that, my relationships are much, much better. What other significant changes have you seen in your life without alcohol? When you stop self- medicating, you actually have to look at and fix the reasons you were medicating in the first place. And, when you do that, your life becomes not only a life you don’t want to escape from but a life you want to LIVE. In fact, this is what I teach in my Living Naked program. It is all about building the life you don’t want to escape from and then going beyond that and finding joy. Do you have sober daily routines-rituals that are your non-negotiables? Not really. I try to exercise and meditate daily, but I’m not very good at keeping daily routines and rituals so it is usually only when I feel like it. Last, what are your top five tools for living in recovery? Since sobriety and recovery aren’t the focus for me, I would say I have life-living tools. Meditation, exercise, journaling, getting outside in the sunshine and practicing presence.
One of the topics you talk about is the fundamental issues with the terms alcoholic and alcoholism. Can you tell me what issues arise with those definitions/terms? There are so many issues, but in a nutshell, it is not a scientific or medical term that is used anymore. It can actually prevent people from getting help because it is so scary. There are so many people who might be willing to entertain the idea of drinking less but aren’t willing to entertain the idea that they are alcoholics. I go into this in more detail in my blog post which can be read here. Would this modality be beneficial in other areas of a recovering person’s life? For example, we often see other issues emerge, such as co-dependency, sex addiction, and an unhealthy relationship with food - I see now you have partnered with William Porter for nicotine addiction? Absolutely. The method is wildly beneficial for everything we are doing that we don’t want to be doing because the premise is the same. Most behavior change methods start and end with the behavior itself and they don’t actually address how the person feels. We care much more about how someone feels than their behavior. This is one of the main reasons I don’t identify as being ‘sober’. Because my focus is on how I feel in my relationship with alcohol. And I want to feel like alcohol is small and irrelevant. And it doesn’t matter what my behavior is because if that feeling is there, my behavior will follow. So, if all habit change followed the method of first learning new things and undoing the beliefs that are keeping us stuck, then allowing us to feel differently in regard to the substance or behavior, and then finally changing the behavior, the chance of success is much higher. That is all underpinned by science and most importantly self-compassion. And the marriage of those concepts is what makes This Naked Mind methodology successful for alcohol and now nicotine and absolutely for many other habits and behaviors beyond substances. What has been your personal biggest challenge you’ve faced since you stopped drinking? Wanting to make a change in the world that is significant and the resistance that goes along with that. Especially because I am going against the status quo in so many ways and there is a lot of the existing paradigm that is wildly uncomfortable with that.
HOLA SOBER | MADRID
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