Daily connection with other sober women fortifies my spirit. I no longer live in a vacuum of isolation but in the expansiveness of community. I learn from you, get and give support, laugh and cry and most importantly get to be the real me with women who just get it. Once you’ve experienced the precious gift of community, it becomes invaluable. I would be remiss if I did not include the importance of regularly spending time in nature. I get outside every day and my happy place is in the woods, where I feel most connected to life. I love every season and find that my rhythm matches the rhythm of nature. Mind and body have equal value in my life and they are completely interdependent. How I feel physically impacts my mood and my mood impacts my willingness to take care of my body. Let’s talk about the mind first. I have come to understand that I have complete control over what I think and I can rid myself of negative thinking, catastrophizing and resentment, thought processes that only increase anxiety and fear. If I find myself indulging in negative thinking, I can stop myself and redirect my thoughts. Sometimes, if I have a hard time letting go, I use what I call the “Scarlett O’Hara” approach. “I don’t want to think about that today, I’ll think about that tomorrow.” And if my thinking doesn’t shift by tomorrow, I can just use it again! A simple “trick”, but also an effective tool. Practicing mindfulness is a wonderful way to engage my senses and bring my thoughts to the present moment. By practicing mindfulness, I can train my mind to drop into the here and now where, usually, circumstances are mostly manageable. So much of my anxiety is caused by ruminating or future tripping, neither of which contribute to peace of mind. So, one of the ways I take care of my mind is to keep it in the moment. If it is a struggle, I can focus on what I see, hear, smell, feel or taste. This calms my mind and gets me centered. Add a few deep and mindful breaths and my nervous system is calmed.
matter if it’s intrinsic or external, passive or active. I could be watching a funny movie or playing ping pong and get just the right release of happy hormones and brain chemicals to send the message that all is well. My mental health and well-being is particularly impactful in my relationships. When I am feeling positive, I am more likely to respond than react, to engage mutually and have the willingness to give and receive support as needed. No one can feel positive all the time, but when we are conscious of taking responsibility for our mindset, we can improve our attitude and outlook. Caring for my physical body is a top priority for me. This is all the things; sleep, nutrition, hydration, exercise, adequate rest, hair care, dental hygiene, and regular medical checkups. Aging is having an interesting impact of how I feel physically. I am noticing changes that are sometimes difficult to cope with. I count on physical activity to enhance my sense of well- being. Exercise is not only important for physical well-being but for mental health as well. So, if I am having aches and pains, or stiffness and muscle fatigue that make rigorous exercise challenging, I have to adjust and find a way to move that is not as stressful. Yoga is a wonderful way to open up physically. To stretch and move and engage the mind/body connection in a way that is strengthening and invigorating. Regular Yoga practice is physically, mentally, and spiritually cohering. Healthy nutrition and delicious food is a joyful part of life. I enjoy putting effort into preparing savory meals as a way to fuel my body and satisfy my palate. I love sharing mealtime rituals with friends and family. I have learned how to create amazing flavor without sacrificing nutritional value. I operate on an 80/20 regime of 80% healthy and 20% treats. Not every day is perfect (thank God!), but I do my best. I do know that how I eat affects how I feel and I really do love feeling good. My “holy trinity”, caring for my mind, body, and spirit, is a recipe, a formula, a repertoire of practices that, together, keep me in optimum balance. They only work if I use them. For that I am responsible.
My “holy trinity”, the three things that truly encompass the quality of my sobriety (life) are well being in mind, body and spirit. I must nurture each of these, with equal care and attention, to both prevent relapse and live a happy, joyous and free life! If I HAD to choose, I think spirit would lead the way. Connection with my God, the Universe and Mother Nature happens at the outset of every morning. I start my day with a heart felt “THANK YOU” for another day of sobriety and the willingness and ability to be of service. I ask for help - always - to maintain this mindset, regardless of what the day may bring. Depending on the day, I might have to repeat this process more than once. What a blessing it is to be able to pause and turn my day around, in essence start my day over, if I need a course correction. I’m the kind of person who talks to God all day. I love noticing when Grace happens, when things line up in a way that makes for smooth sailing. Conversely, when things get tricky and I’m in tight squeezes that increase stress, I ask for patience and guidance to navigate the moment without causing harm. And I express continuous gratitude for it all. All the help that comes from simply asking. Of course, if I ever felt the urge to drink I would ask for help to keep me sober. First from whatever that universal spirit is, then I would pick up the phone and call another sober sister who, acting as God’s agent, would talk me off the ledge. Even God needs a little help now and then and that is where our service is required!
Humor and fun are two essential ingredients to my positive frame of mind. It doesn’t seem to
HOLA SOBER | MADRID
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