further diagnostic testing for an abnormal mammogram. She was glad when the lady’s name was called, and she wouldn’t have to see her again. While Vivian waited, she thought about her marriage and how unhappy both she and her husband were. She didn’t tell him where she was going today. She only told a few friends, who told her not to worry about it. “We both have dense breast tissue, and I always have abnormal readings.” Vivian’s friend had told her. “Don’t even worry about it.” But she couldn’t help but worry. A nodule, the doctor said. That’s what the first mammogram showed—a nodule. So she sat and waited in the little holding area with its eye-pleasing accent wall of beige and baby blue, succulents spread around, and a flat- screen that showed images of waterfalls, forests, and meadows while being accompanied by classical music. She waited with the other women, who wore identical crisp-white robes, and it gave Vivian the impression they were at a spa waiting their turn to get massages and facials. She wondered about the lady in the wig and how
she did not want that to happen to herself. She shouldn’t have asked her if she was okay. No one else even seemed to care. The other women seemed lost in their thoughts, some just staring at the floor while others were on their cell phones. Was Vivian the only one who cared? We all have something in common here, ladies! She wanted to say. Why doesn’t anyone ask one another how they are doing? Then, all of a sudden, she blurted out: “Do you think the hospital staff will pass out champagne like they do at the spa?” she said with a smile. A few of the women laughed. She felt stupid for saying it. Little by little, the room started to empty. Her mind wandered back to her marriage. I’m not happy; he’s not happy. There is a huge elephant in the room that neither one of them wanted to address. What will it take? They have tried marriage counseling, but neither of them liked it or cared to put too much effort into it. Neither of them wanted to make the first move. Neither of them wanted to look like the bad person to their friends and family. No one knew how unhappy they were. Faking happiness all the time is so tiring. She’s sick of it. Thank
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