Caregiving
Reclaiming Yourself By Brenda Mayorquin , Aging and Caregiving Specialist Being a 24/7 caregiver is a role that often consumes you, your time, and your energy. It’s dedicated, unselfish love! You are heroes without a cape, angels without wings. You can easily lose yourself in the constant demands of caring for a loved one. Days become weeks, weeks become months, and months become years. You become so invested in giving quality care to your loved one that you may feel you have lost your own identity. Often you put yourself in the backseat, ignoring your own needs, passions, and interests — not to mention coping with all the emotions common to being a caregiver including ambivalence, anger, irritability, sadness, frustration, resentment, tiredness, and lack of appreciation. I want to remind you that self-care (self-love) and reclaiming your personal identity aren’t luxuries, they’re a necessity for your physical and mental well-being because you matter. And yet we don’t do it! I’m with you, there’s just not enough time in the day, right? Well, not only are you a hero and an angel, but you are also a warrior, a fighter without the armor, of course. Let’s start this new year not with a resolution, but with a challenge to tackle and discover new ways to reduce and cope with stress, build resiliency, and rediscover yourself not just as a caregiver, but as a human! Get creative with the time you have, whether it’s getting ready for the day, driving, washing dishes, getting mail, walking the dog, or even while you’re in the restroom.
When you’re caring for someone else, it can feel selfish to take time for yourself. However, even short moments of self-care can make a huge difference in your day. Try to carve out small breaks during the day. Here are a few suggestions to get you started: • Have a piece of chocolate and savor it. • Take a walk and count cars. • Turn on some music or listen to your favorite podcast while driving. • While getting the mail, look around, take a deep breath, and admire the beauty around you. • At night, step outside and look at the stars shining brightly upon you. • While in the restroom, watch a comedy clip on YouTube and get a good laugh. • Before bed, ground your feet and touch your heart to feel your heartbeat. • Stretch or dance while washing dishes.
These moments allow you to recharge and regain your identity, even if just for a few minutes, and help to restore a sense of individuality outside of your caregiving role. Lastly, remember to be kind to yourself. Caregiving is tough, and it’s normal to feel overwhelmed, frustrated, or even resentful at times. Recognize your emotions without judgment and forgive yourself for any perceived shortcomings. By taking steps to restore your identity and nurture your own well-being, you’re not only caring for yourself but also ensuring you can continue to care for your loved one with greater strength and resilience. If you need additional support or assistance, reach out to our Family Caregiver Support Program by calling (520) 790-7262.
January/February 2025, Never Too Late | Page 17
Pima Council on Aging
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