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The Bledsoe Firm JustFamilyLaw.com | 949.363.5551 SEPTEMBER | 2024
FROM HEARTACHE TO HEALING
YOUR PATH FORWARD AFTER DIVORCE
Divorce can feel like the end — not just of a relationship, but of the way you see yourself and envision your future — but in reality, it is anything but. It is always a life-changing experience, sure, but that does not have to be a negative. Rather than being the end, your divorce is merely another step in your journey and can lead to greater, happier adventures ahead. All those who go through divorce experience the same jarring transition from married to divorced life. That transition can be difficult, but there is a lot to look forward to. ACCEPTANCE Whether you were married for a year or a decade, breakups are always a challenge. In the wake of your divorce, you may feel a variety of emotions — anger, sadness, and even catharsis — the important thing is to let yourself feel them. You don’t have to shut yourself off from your feelings to move on. Just the opposite: Allowing yourself to grieve is what will help you get past this emotional state. It won’t happen overnight, but the sooner you realize how you are feeling, the sooner you can start the healing process. NEW RELATIONSHIPS Although your marriage is over, that does not mean you have to cut your ex-spouse out of your life completely. On occasion, ex-spouses can maintain an amicable relationship after the divorce, and can even foster it into an unlikely, but valuable, friendship. However, if your ex-spouse was a toxic or narcissistic person, then you do not need to have any more communication with them than is absolutely necessary. Every situation is different, and you have to do what is best for you. Of course, this dynamic changes when children are involved. In that case, you will still need to coordinate with your ex-spouse on
certain occasions, such as weddings and birthdays, but should only make concessions you are comfortable making. Ultimately, the result should be what you believe is best for both you and your children.
On the topic of relationship building, it is a bad idea to rush into any large life changes in the aftermath of a divorce. This includes
starting a new romantic relationship. Fears of being alone, or not being able to find love again, can lead to some hasty and often regrettable decisions. Give yourself the time you need to heal; then you can see about finding romance.
FRIENDS AND PROFESSIONALS
During this transition, your friends and family can be a great source of catharsis and support. However, you and your ex-spouse likely inhabited some shared social circles, so losing those friendships can be daunting
and can make you feel alone. But there are still many out there who love and support you. Those who are there for you can provide the warmth and relief you may be seeking, but they may not provide everything you need.
Professional help, from counselors and therapists, as well as group therapy sessions, can be a significant source of support as well. They can provide you practical advice on a variety of topics, and can help you land on your feet. —John Bledsoe
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INJURY-FREE RUNNING DISCOVER YOUR PASSION
LEARN NEW SKILLS IN ORANGE COUNTY
When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Or use those lemons to make a sweet lemon bar dessert with a side of lemonade. The point is that life is what you make it. When things do not go according to plan, a change of plan may be precisely what you need. Learning a new skill is a great way to improve your mental well-being, and your outlook on life, all at the same time. Whether you are looking to perfect your pasta or coat your canvas, there are some wonderful lessons you can take right here in Orange County. EXPANDING YOUR CULINARY HORIZONS Learning to cook a variety of foods is a boon both for you and your guests. Why resort to takeout when you can create an exotic dish to your liking? Hipcooks is an organization that provides private and public cooking classes across the West Coast, including in Orange County. They have themed classes, like “Let’s
Go to Thailand,” “Samosa Social,” and “Dim Sum and then Some,” exhibiting cuisines from around the world. The California Baking School, also in Orange County, offers professional and recreational courses that teach the fundamentals of baking bread and pastries. PAINTING CLASSES Living in Orange County means living among artists; it is an inescapable and wonderful quality. Both in-person and online art classes are available through ArtSteps, an organization that provides lessons to kids, teens, and adults for a variety of art mediums. The Mission Art Center offers flexible pricing and scheduling, allowing you to book lessons, in-person, for just one day, or up to nine weeks. LINGUISTIC LESSONS Learning a new language can open up a world of possibilities, both professionally and socially. You
want to make connections and forge friendships, but you just don’t have the right words to make them happen at the moment. The Orange County Lingual Institute is a great way to go if you are looking for in-person tutoring and language lessons. If you prefer to learn from home, LingQ is an online service that lets you learn a new language by reading in that language, with live translations provided to help you pick up new words as you go.
Step Up Your Fitness Game With Rucking
How Adding Weight to Your Walk Can Transform Your Health
HOW TO START Are you interested in giving rucking a try? Here’s how to get started on the right foot. 1. Start light: Begin with a lighter weight. A good starting point might be around
If you’re searching for a new way to spice up your fitness routine that doesn’t involve learning complicated dance moves or investing in expensive equipment, it’s time to strap on a backpack and give rucking a go! Rucking is walking with a weighted twist, combining the simplicity of a stroll in the park with the added challenge of carrying a few extra pounds on your back. It’s going viral, and here’s why you might want to join the ruckus. RUCKING EXPLAINED Imagine taking a leisurely walk, but add a backpack with a few books or weights — that’s rucking! This straightforward yet effective exercise doesn’t just get you out and about; it turns your walk into a full-body workout. By adding weight, you ask your muscles to work harder with every step, boosting the cardiovascular benefits of walking and turning it into a resistance training session. HEALTH BENEFITS OF RUCKING Rucking is an excellent way to get a cardiovascular workout without the high-impact stress that running can impose on your body. The extra weight helps increase your heart rate and strengthens your bones and muscles. Rucking ensures a comprehensive workout by targeting multiple major muscle groups, including calves, hamstrings, quads, core, upper back, shoulders, and even feet. Plus, it’s a fantastic way to burn calories and enhance your endurance while enjoying the great outdoors!
3%–5% of your body weight. You can use almost anything, like water bottles, sandbags, books, or weight plates.
2. Focus on form: Pay attention to your posture. Keep your back straight and shoulders back to avoid strain. You may even notice your posture improving because of rucking! 3. Gradually increase weight: As you become more comfortable with rucking, add more weight to your backpack. Increasing the challenge helps ensure continuous improvement in your strength and endurance.
So, what are you waiting for? Grab a backpack, throw in some weight, and step into the world of rucking, where every step moves you toward better fitness!
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W ord S earch
Mental Refresh
Abundant
Apples
HEALTHY WAYS TO CLEAR YOUR MIND
Cookout
Crunchy
Fall
Golden
Keeping an organized home can help you with stress. When things are clear and tidy, you can find what you need easily, and the clean environment provides relief. Your mind is much the same way. A cluttered mind is less capable and more prone to becoming lost or overwhelmed than a clear mind. Stress, anxiety, and negative thoughts can compound, preventing you from accomplishing your goals and leaving your conscious brain cluttered. These are some proactive steps you can take to help clear your mind and mitigate those negative mental influences. MEDITATION Rather than running away from our thoughts and feelings, it is often best to face them head-on. Meditation can help you focus, de-stress, and improve your cognitive functioning. In order to meditate, you should sit comfortably in a peaceful, quiet environment. Then, focus on your breathing — in through your nose, out through your mouth — and try to keep your mind clear of thoughts. When thoughts do cross your mind, acknowledge them without giving in to the emotions they aim to provoke. You should start by meditating at least a few minutes a day, and then increase the duration as you feel comfortable. Meditation is like a muscle: The more you do it, the stronger it gets. JOURNALING Jotting down your thoughts, feelings, and creative inklings in a journal, for at least five minutes per day, can help you work through your problems, anxieties, and stressors. It allows you to identify your negative thoughts and behaviors, and to make tangible changes in order to correct them. Make sure to keep your journal and writing utensil close by, so that journaling is as convenient as possible. Your journal is your space to write, or draw, whatever comes to mind. Use it as best suits you. EXERCISE Being physically active has benefits for your mental and physical health. When you exercise, your body releases endorphins, which are your brain’s way of cheering you up. Furthermore, it can help reduce the symptoms of stress, as well as relax you. Think of it as mobile meditation: a way to clear your mind while burning calories.
Grandparents
Harvest
Labor
Maple
Sports
Windy
Inspired by Simple-Veganista.com
Perfect Curried Chickpea Salad
This simple curried chickpea salad is the perfect school lunch on the go or quick meal. Enjoy it on your favorite bread for a delicious sandwich or over healthy greens.
INGREDIENTS •
1/2 cup vegan mayo
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1 cup sliced green onions 1/2 cup raisins or chopped dates
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1 tbsp curry powder
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3/4 tsp garlic powder
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2 cans chickpeas (garbanzo beans), rinsed and drained
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1/2 cup cashews
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Juice of 1 lemon
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1 cup diced carrots
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Salt and pepper
DIRECTIONS 1. In a bowl, combine mayo, curry, and garlic powder. Blend and set aside. 2. In a separate bowl, add chickpeas and mash about half the beans with a fork or masher. 3. Add carrots, green onion, raisins or dates, and cashews. 4. Mix with curry dressing and add lemon juice. Mix well and add salt and pepper to taste. 5. Serve on a bed of greens or a bread of your choice.
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Inside
Navigating the Post-Divorce Transition
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Learn and Grow in Orange County
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Rucking Could Be Your Next Favorite Outdoor Exercise
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How to Clear Your Mind
Perfect Curried Chickpea Salad
Explore the Positive Benefits of Pets for Kids
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The Integral Role of Pets in Enhancing Childhood Development THE PAWSITIVE EFFECTS
FUN AND ADVENTURE Let’s not forget that pets are fun! They bring laughter and joy to a household. Kids’ adventures with their pets — from exploring the backyard jungles with a trusty dog to hosting a tea party with a patient feline — can foster creativity and imagination. Pets truly make a home more vibrant and livelier. They teach lessons in love, life, and the joy of simple things. So, if you’re contemplating adding a pet to your family, know that the pitter-patter of little paws can benefit your child’s development. And let’s be honest, who wouldn’t want an extra dose of unconditional love around the house?
We all know a family pet can bring a world of fun, but animal companions are actually proven to do much more than that! Pets are more than just your kids’ companions; they play a significant role in child development. Here’s how every child can benefit from growing up with a furry (or not-so-furry) friend. SOCIAL SKILLS AND EMPATHY Pets often serve as a child’s first friend and confidant. Interacting with a pet requires a child to read nonverbal cues and respond appropriately, which can enhance their empathy and understanding of emotional states. When a child learns to care for the needs of their beloved pet, they learn that other people also have needs and emotions that must be cared for. HEALTH BENEFITS Numerous studies have shown that children with pets are less likely to develop common
allergies and asthma. Surprisingly enough, it didn’t matter whether these kids grew up with
cats or dogs; both were equally likely to help prevent asthma and certain allergies. Of course, children
who have already been diagnosed can have their symptoms triggered by their furry friends. That’s why parents should consider introducing a pet as early as possible!
EMOTIONAL SUPPORT Pets provide a unique comfort that can sometimes elude even the
closest family members. During challenging or stressful times, a pet can comfort a child. A pet’s presence can be incredibly soothing and reassuring, providing a silent strength without the complication of human emotions.
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