WHAT DIFFERENCE?
children. As a school counsellor, I believe children are drawn toward hopeful ways of thinking and being. After several sessions with a young student, I recently met her in the hallway. This student would have traditionally been problem-focused in her thinking. This day when we connected, the first words I heard her say were: “things have been going better.” She was responding with a solution focused mindset, thinking about possibility and hope. That’s the power of thinking about “what I’d rather” instead of dwelling on “how things are.”
What difference would it make? I often ask clients this “difference” question at the beginning of a conversation. “If you were to achieve your best hopes? How would that change your life in a meaningful way?” As a solution-focused brief therapist, I am always looking for ways to shift people’s thinking toward considering their preferred future. We know that ruminating about the past or worrying about the future can cause distress. Being stuck inhibits movement. However, contemplating a desired outcome can bring about hope.
Lori Gard is a registered counselling therapist at Your Life Design Inc., a PEI based company offering online therapy and training. Gard is also a Canadian Certified Counsellor and holds separate bachelor’s degrees in history and education. Gard also has a Master of Science degree from the University of West Alabama, as well as a Master of Education from UPEI. She has a certificate in Solution Focused Brief Therapy through OISE at the University of Toronto, and she is currently studying her Advanced Certificate in Couple and Family Therapy at the University of Guelph. Gard specializes in working with children and their parents working with youth, teenagers, couples, and families, and offers Solution Focused Brief Therapy to her many clients. Gard lives in Mill River East with her husband Brian, and their four children.
QUESTIONS TO CONSIDER
A PREFERRED FUTURE
What difference would it make to you if one thing changed?
If someone suggests that their best hope for our conversation is to gain acceptance about a certain situation, my next question to them is what difference that would make to gain acceptance. I am curious about the details, as we are now on a path leading to change and desired expectations. Micro-questions around this new hopeful path that the client has suggested they are desiring will elicit details that lead toward a preferred future. Every decision we make brings about a difference in our lives. When I lead solution focused brief therapy sessions, I am interested in the difference or change that the ideal will bring to an individual’s life. I want to hear about how elevated hope will make a difference, increased motivation will make a difference, strengthened resolve will make a difference, amplified clarity will make a difference and how many other things will bring about a stark contrast between “what is now” and “what can be.”
What would be the first thing you noticed, signaling to you that change was possible, perhaps even underway?
What difference would that hopeful thinking bring to your life?
FIVE ASPECTS OF HOPE ACTIVATION
Five key aspects of hope activation are important to be aware of when thinking through a solution focused lens: 1. Awareness about the outcome you are desiring. 2. Awareness about times when the problem was either not happening or was more manageable. 3. Awareness of how important this goal for change is for you. 4. Awareness of what those VIPs in your life might notice is different as a result of your change. 5. Awareness of what could help you cope and manage along the pathway toward change. What difference would it make for you if you were to try thinking in a solution- focused way? I would wager it would make a big difference.
www.yourlifedesign.ca 902.316.0745
SOLUTION FOCUSED MINDSET
I use solution focused interviewing in my work with adults, but also with
SUMMER 2022 www.pei-living.ca
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