D Danya O’Malley, Executive Director of PEI Family Violence Prevention Services, says the isolation brought additional layers of risk as many struggled with job loss, addiction and heightened mental health challenges — but family violence is nothing new on the Island. “We serve about 400 families a year, and there’s a stereotype that abuse is more common in poorer families, but abuse happens across all socioeconomic classes,” says O’Malley. “Some families go to great lengths to hide their dysfunction.”
“People can be aware someone is in danger, but they may be paralyzed by not wanting to do the wrong thing, so they do nothing,” says O’Malley. She says it’s important to approach the person with a gentle, nonjudgmental attitude. Even then, O’Malley says the person may not be ready to discuss it. “I onced asked someone about some bruises I saw, and she laughed it off. It was only years later that she told me what those bruises were really from,” says O’Malley. “But just because someone isn’t ready to talk doesn’t mean there’s no value in you asking. It shows that you care about them, and that they can come to you later when they are ready to talk.” Even if the person isn’t experiencing violence, O’Malley says these questions are a way of modeling good behaviour and helping to change the culture of “minding our own business.” It also helps to develop your skill of checking on people who may be in danger, so it’s easier to do the next time.
PEI Family Violence Prevention Services is approaching its 40th anniversary, but its annual fundraising dinners and golf tournaments all had to be cancelled because of the pandemic, so O’Malley is hoping the organization can survive through generous Christmas donations. “We can stretch a dollar like you wouldn’t believe, and we’re really counting on the community’s support,” says O’Malley. “Our fundraisers also help by building awareness of what we do, so we’re hoping people can also spread the word about us and our services. It could save someone’s life.”
PEI Family Violence Prevention Services is a community volunteer organization
dedicated to the eradication of physical, sexual, and emotional
Danya O’Malley, Executive Director PEI Family Violence Prevention Services Inc. 902.894.3354, ext. 225 danya@fvps.ca www.fvps.ca
violence in families. It started back in 1981 as an emergency shelter for women and children, and it has steadily expanded to include four outreach offices across the province providing services like one-on-one support, support groups, and second-stage housing. O’Malley says sometimes people don’t consider themselves “abused” unless they’re being physically harmed, but says emotional and verbal abuse can leave “tremendous, lasting scars.” “Nobody’s abusive on a first date. It starts off very slowly with little things you can rationalize away, and then it evolves,” explains O’Malley. “There’s still so much shame and stigma around having abuse in your family, and oftentimes the abuser is very skilled at making the victim feel like it’s their fault.” Thankfully, she says more people are learning to identify abuse and speak up. When it comes to what O’Malley calls “bystander intervention,” she says the PEI Family Violence Prevention Services team is working hard to educate the community via tip sheets and educational videos online.
▲ Back Row (L to R): Gloria Dennis - Outreach Coordinator, Dara Rayner – Operations Manager, Michelle Buttery – Children’s Services Coordinator, Front Row (L to R): Danya O’Malley – Executive Director, Lindsay Merrill – Development Coordinator
http://www.fvps.ca/news/2020-2021-annual-financial-campaign/
WINTER 2020 www.pei-living.ca
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