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JOSEPH F. EMMERTH A LOOK AT FAMILY LAW OF SULLIVAN TAYLOR & GUMINA, P.C.
JULY 2017
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FUELING A LOVE OF TRAVEL
Everyone has something that they love to do, something that drives and motivates them. In my case, that something is travel. Whether taking a weekend trip down to Kentucky for some horse racing or flying across the Atlantic to explore Europe, I love to get out and see new places. I also enjoy returning to familiar places I love, like New Orleans, which is my favorite place to visit. When I was younger, I played a lot of rugby, which gave me some great opportunities outside the United States. My team traveled a lot, and I have particularly vivid memories
of playing foreign teams in the British Isles back in 2000. We had matches in Ireland, England, Wales, and Scotland, and we stuck around for the Rugby World Cup that was happening in Cardiff, Wales, that year. Oddly enough, we ran into a lot of rugby teams we’d played against back in the States — they were there to take in the World Cup! But you don’t have to join a rugby team to travel and see the sights. Indianapolis, St. Louis, Louisville, Lexington, Nashville, and Kansas City are just a few of the places within driving distance of where we live. All of these cities are unique and have a
AND IF TRAVEL REALLY ISN’T SOMETHING THAT YOU ENJOY, I STILL ENCOURAGE YOU TO SET ASIDE SOME TIME THIS MONTH FOR SOMETHING THAT YOU LOVE TO DO.
can leave you energized and excited to tackle a busy week ahead. From historical sites to foodie destinations and everything in between, there’s something for almost everyone within a few hours of home. And if travel really isn’t something that
lot to offer, with art, culture, and dining that rivals anywhere I’ve been abroad. In fact, my next trip is going to be to visit friends down in Lexington later this summer. And there are other options for travel here in the States that shouldn’t be missed. For example, this coming New Year’s I’m considering taking the Amtrak from Chicago to Seattle. A lengthy train ride through the Rockies, mirroring the route the pioneers took West, seems like a great way to start 2018.
you enjoy, I still encourage you to set aside some time this month for something that you love to do. Take a walk, hit the pool, play a game of catch with friends, and enjoy the nice summer weather while we have it. We may not be able to take three-month summer breaks like when we were kids, but that doesn’t mean we’re not allowed to have some fun!
Have a great July,
- Joseph Emmerth
How about you? Do you have a summer vacation planned or a road trip to visit family? Even a daytrip to cool places close by
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You don’t get paid enough to afford all the groceries you’d like. In fact, if it wasn’t for coupons, you wouldn’t be able to get everything you need, right? Coupon clipping is a time-honored way of saving money and a source of pride amongst many of us who need those paychecks to go as far as possible. But there are two ways to look at it: as a way to put food on the table that you otherwise couldn’t afford, or as a way to trick money-conscious consumers into buying stuff they normally wouldn’t. Which takeaway describes your situation? To find out, you have to answer two questions. The first question is, “Do I need — and will I use — everything that I buy with coupons?” Here’s the thing: Coupons are designed to affect you psychologically. It turns out that the same part of your brain that governs basic instincts (like hunger and pleasure) also loves a screaming good deal. It can be hard to resist the allure, and that means you often spend money on things that you normally wouldn’t, because you have a coupon. It’s tough, but stick to the staples — like rice, beans, oats, and salt — that you’ll use eventually and that won’t go We Do the Math on Coupon Clipping STEP AWAY FROM THE NEWSPAPER PUT DOWN THE SCISSORS AND
bad. Of course, if you’ve wanted something for a long time and it goes on sale, it makes sense to buy. But don’t let the coupon section dictate your desires! The second question is, “How much is my time worth, and how much of that time do I spend hunting down the best deals and clipping coupons?” We’re not trained to think of our time as valuable when we aren’t working, but time is the one thing you can’t get back. If you’re saving $25 a week on stuff you actually need, but it takes 4 hours a week to get that savings, you’re losing money even if you make minimum wage. That’s time you could be spending with family, picking up a half-shift at work, or finding innovative ways to make money. We won’t deny that there are great deals out there — deals that are now more available than ever thanks to apps like Groupon. But don’t mistake coupons for anything but what they really are: businesses trying to trick your brain into buying more stuff. Use them wisely, but don’t let them rule you.
Co-Parenting When School’s Out SUMMER SCHEDULING
Summer can be a challenging season for co-parents trying to maintain a consistent parenting schedule. Say what you want about school, the structure of the 8-to-3 day with set weekends makes figuring out who will have the kids much easier. It also can be a godsend if you’re working a 9-to-5 job yourself.
Sometimes the trickiest part of summer scheduling is coordinating vacations. Trips often depend on time off from work and other factors and might not fall perfectly into your planned schedule. And what if both parents want the kids for Labor Day weekend? Be considerate of everyone. And if the kids are taking off for a week or two with the other parent, make sure they know that you want them to enjoy themselves. If you can’t take them on a similar trip this summer, that’s okay; you can always do something special with them later in the year. In this maze of scheduling, it can be easy to forget another important aspect: what the kids want! Be sure to ask them and really listen. Their well-being is what matters, and their wants should be taken into account. If their desires run counter to your own, remember that it’s not personal; summer can be a tough time for them, too. If you can keep them involved in the process, your summer plans will go much smoother, with much less stress.
It’s wise to plan early; but even now in July, it’s not too late to sit down and map out the rest of the summer. Factor in sports, summer camps, and other activities your kids will participate in. Establish a well-defined schedule that works for both parents. It may be tempting to wing it, especially if you have a healthy relationship with your co-parent; but try to resist that urge, as it will likely lead to added stress. A schedule that has flexibility is going to work better than simply improvising one.
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STRONGER TOGETHER
Challenges and Opportunities in Blended Families
People talk about how many marriages end in divorce, but they rarely mention how many divorcees go on to remarry — 64 percent of them, according to Pew Research. Often, this leads to a blended family, a seemingly unique situation that’s actually quite common. Blended families can be just as strong, loving, and supportive as blood families. But all families come with challenges, and blended ones are no different.
When transitioning into a blended family, it helps to start with realistic expectations. A common downfall is expecting too much, too soon. Change takes time, and people — and especially children — adapt to change at their own pace. Not only may kids have trouble trusting a stepparent, they may also have trouble when they develop attachment to a stepparent. No part of this process is easy, and it can’t be rushed. Be patient, be persistent, and make it clear that whatever the children are feeling is totally natural and normal. This process can be aided by encouraging family time, just like with a blood family. Go to the zoo together, eat dinner together, and spend quality time with one another. Not only can this be fun, but it can also be a great way for blended families to get to know each other, which is the first step toward love and trust. The most important thing is open communication with respect and empathy. Kids (and adults) act out when they feel that they’re not being heard or understood. Some hard conversations are just difficult. Don’t ignore them, don’t try to sweep them under the rug, and don’t tell the kids that certain topics are off-limits. Encourage respectful, healthy interaction, but don’t shut down communication. Use lessons learned from the first marriage to avoid repeating mistakes in your new relationship.
HAVE A LAUGH!
Looking for a summer dessert you don’t have to feel guilty about indulging in? Try this easy, low-fat frozen treat! SUMMERTIME FROZEN YOGURT PIE • 1 premade graham cracker pie crust • 1 (8-ounce) container Cool Whip • 1 cup frozen or fresh mixed berries (strawberries, blueberries, and blackberries) INGREDIENTS
• 3 (6-ounce) containers regular yogurt (berry flavors work best)
DIRECTIONS
1. Combine Cool Whip, mixed
4. Store in freezer for at least 3 hours, or until frozen through. 5. Serve frozen or slightly thawed.
berries, and yogurt in a bowl. Mix with a spatula until well-blended.
2. Pour yogurt mixture into pie crust. 3. Cover pie with foil or plastic lid.
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JOSEPH F. EMMERTH OF SULLIVAN TAYLOR & GUMINA, P.C.
PRST STD US POSTAGE PAID BOISE, ID PERMIT 411
630-665-7676 | www.stglawfirm.com Monday - Friday 8:30am - 5pm
1250 E. Diehl Rd., Suite 400 Naperville, IL 60563
INSIDE THIS ISSUE
Fueling a Love of Travel PAGE 1
We Do the Math on Coupon Clipping PAGE 2 Your Summer Parenting Schedule PAGE 2 Stronger Blended Families PAGE 3 Summertime Frozen Yogurt Pie PAGE 3 The Neuroscience Behind Meditation PAGE 4
SIT DOWN AND SHUT UP
The Neuroscience Behind Meditation
New Age mystics have been busy promising everything to the self- help hungry masses, popularizing pseudoscientific approaches that fall in and out of vogue faster than fashion trends. But one practice has moved back into the public spotlight in recent years that bears scientific examination, a method that’s been practiced across the world for over 2,000 years: meditation. Though it’s often lumped in with the other New-Agey self-help ideas, neurological evidence indicates that meditation deserves a closer look. Take one trial reported on by Newsweek and conducted by a computer scientist and neuroscientist at the University of Arizona, for instance. In the trial, 45 participants were split into three groups. One group took eight weeks of body relaxation training, one group had no training whatsoever, and one group took “mindfulness- based meditation training.” Then they were tested with stressful multitasking before and after the eight-week period. The individuals in the meditation group were able to sustain their focus longer and reported feeling less stressed than both of the other groups. So what’s actually happening here? Well, to put it simply, the meditators were actively changing the way their minds form connections. Our brains are constantly being molded and reshaped by our surroundings, often by things we are completely unaware of. Each time we impulsively follow a habit pattern, that reaction is
etched into our brains more deeply. But when a person sits down to meditate, they begin to consciously reject these knee-jerk impulses. As Newsweek writer Zoe Schlanger puts it, “Learning how to interrupt one’s reaction pattern — and then doing that over and over — can reshape behavior.” It’s just like any other thing we practice over and over. As we repeat the process, we get better at it. It’s just that with meditation, practitioners are specifically working on their ability to deliberately cause their thoughts to cease their aimless darting, developing focus and impulse resistance. Research indicates that this “stillness of mind” can result in better attention, reduced susceptibility to addiction, and even “reduce the cognitive decline associated with normal aging,” according to one study published in the Neurobiology of Aging journal. “What you attend to drives your behavior and it determines your happiness,” writes London School of Economics scholar Paul Dolan. It just makes sense that learning to actively direct your attention should improve your quality of life — and the science backs it up. If you’re intrigued, check out apps like calm.com or buddhify, or read “A Beginner’s Guide to Meditation” by Rod Meade Sperry — an excellent primer covering many approaches and philosophies.
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