Relax and be open. You can communicate openness with facial expressions and body positions. Uncross your arms. Sit comfortably and informally. Sit beside the person (sitting right in front of them may be intimidating) and remove any physical barriers, such as a pile of books. Watch your non-verbal responses. A look of boredom or disapproval on your face can keep the other person from finishing what he or she wants to say. Be compassionate. Someone who is dying will experience a variety of emotions. Sometimes the person may be angry or frustrated and direct that anger toward the people around them. Try to respond with understanding and compassion. Keep in mind that the anger is not personal. It is part of the response to the illness. Encourage them to express their fears and concerns; this will help them know that you understand their thoughts and feelings and are willing to journey with them. Listen without interruption. Let the person lead the conversation. If he or she wants to recount favorite stories - even if you’ve heard
Your presence, not your words, mean the most. There is no magic formula, no magic words. Just being present for that moment will go a long way to helping the person heal, if not physically, then at least emotionally.
them several times before - listen with enthusiasm.Note key words or phrases as person talks so you can respond when it’s
the
your
turn. Listen for more than the words. Observe the way the person talks – the inflection in the voice, his or her enthusiasm or lack of it. Watch facial expressions and be aware of body language. All of these are essential parts of the message and conversation. Send acknowledgements. Let the speaker know you are still there and interested by nodding your head or saying things like “Uh uh” and “OK”. Use touch -- but only with permission . Communication through touch can be very effective. Holding a person’s hand or giving a comforting pat on the arm can mean a great deal to someone fighting fear and loneliness. However you must ask permission first. It can be as simple as asking the person if you may hold his/her hand or “give them a hug”. It is essential to obtain this “consent” from the client and/or family member before touching. EIGHT STRATEGIES FOR LEARNING TO LISTEN 1) We cannot listen until we stop talking. 2) Be silent in an active way. Be open and active, receptive and alive. Keep your mind from wandering. Your body language and eye contact will reveal how attentive you are. 3) Be patient. Sometimes it takes time for someone to reveal him or her self to you. We often have to listen to people’s more superficial concerns before we are allowed into the deeper levels of the human soul.
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