MAY 2020
Finding Balance as a Parent
In honor of Mother’s Day this month, we want to feature our attorney Rosalie Cruz and share her journey toward finding balance after her son, Christian, was born. Here’s Rosalie to share her story. My 4-year-old, Christian, is energetic, bright, and expressive. Now that he can talk, he can verbalize what he’s feeling. Before, if he wanted me to stop working and play with him, he would try to distract me. Now, he just tells me what he’s feeling. If I’m working and he wants to play, he says, “Mama, I don’t want you working.” Other times, when his friends are over, he tells me, “Mama, go to work.” Life with a child is all about finding that balance.
Joining the Bruce Law Firm has made it so much more possible to find balance. Before joining the team, I was on my own for three years, and I was wearing so many different hats. I’m very grateful for the resources we have here that allow me to focus on my clients’ cases when I’m at work and to focus on my family when I’m at home. While we don’t have many Mother’s Day traditions, Christian is already a pro at showing his feelings through random acts of love. When he went on a trip with his father for a week and I wasn’t able to go, he came back, surprised me with flowers, and told me he loved me and missed me. He always says, “Mama, I have a surprise for you,” and then brings out flowers or another sweet gift. He buys me teddy bears (through his dad, of course, because after all, he’s only 4), and apparently, he’ll tell his dad, “We need to buy Mama flowers.” It’s very sweet. Something new for our family this year is baseball. Christian just started playing in January, and I love taking him to practices and watching him play and interact with the other kids. He was never in day care, since his dad stays home and cares for him, so it’s exciting to see him develop his social skills. Baseball is a great sport for a kid: The rules teach them about structure, and they learn about teamwork and the importance of listening. It’s exciting to see him changing and learning as he understands more about the game. At each practice, Christian’s coaches give a medal to the kid who did the best job of listening that day. Each day on the way to practice, Christian would say, “I want the medal.”We told him, “If you want the medal, you have to listen.” One day, as he joined the other kids at practice, he turned to his coach and declared, “I’m here to listen!” Sure enough, he was true to his word and did his best to listen that day. At the end of practice, his coach proudly handed him the medal. Becoming a parent changes your perspective on what matters in life. Before Christian came along, I was focused on work all the time; it didn’t matter if I worked through the night and weekend. Now, though, I value the precious time I have with him. I’m never going to be able to experience these early years with him again, so it’s crucial to me that I find balance.
Of course, it can be challenging. I feel like I keep getting better at it, and I’ll never stop trying. Even if I’m not 100% balanced with work and family time, I’m always trying to make an effort. It’s a constant back-and-forth, but to me, the most important part is never giving up while trying to find that balance. With my work, I can make my own schedule, and there is a good amount of flexibility. I’ve realized with having a child, though, it’s still really important to create a consistent schedule. If they are used to you being done with work at 5 or 6 p.m., they’re going to be wondering where you are. They need that consistency in their life.
– Rosalie Cruz
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Focus and Get Back to the Boat
With everything going on in the world, we thought you could use a reminder that while life is full of unexpected twists and turns, we still get to choose how we react. Navigating Life’s Unexpected Twists and Turns Looking back at some of the previous newsletters, we came across a story reminding us of just that. Ashley and Chris shared their experience of rafting down the Rogue River, and in it, Ashley also talked about her first time falling out of the boat:
Of course, as beautiful as the river is, she’s not without her tests.We encountered plenty of rapids, mostly Class III, but there were a few Class IVs that got a little hairy.
HEALTH BENEFITS OF FAMILY GARDENING
During a previous trip in Colorado, I fell out of the boat. It was shocking — I hit the cold water and felt instant panic. I tried to catch my breath between waves, but it was only when I worked through that initial panic that I was able to remember what I needed to do: focus and get back to the boat. It’s definitely a character-building experience. While I still feel some apprehension when I see big rapids, I know I can handle them. We encounter tests every day. We face difficult situations at work that test our patience and make us feel powerless. We realize our marriage is no longer serving us and our spouse is preventing us from living our best life. We go through situations that we think will break us — but they don’t. We get through them, and we come out stronger.
GIVE YOUR KID THE GIFT OF A GREEN THUMB
Yes, there will always be football season, basketball season, and soccer season, but right now, it’s gardening season. That means it’s time to roll up your sleeves and play in the dirt. If you’ve been searching for a way to get the kids away from technology and engaged with the real world, gardening is the perfect activity for the whole family to enjoy. Not only is it fun, but it’s also beneficial for your kids’ development. For example, gardening can improve your children’s analytical abilities. As Dr. Wendy Matthews says, “Gardening exercises important reasoning, initiation, planning, and organization skills.” Furthermore, several studies, including one at Texas A&M University, suggest that gardening improves a child’s attitude toward fruits and vegetables and may make them more likely to choose them as snacks. Gardening helps kids identify with where their food is coming from, and nothing tastes better than a freshly picked strawberry or pea pod they grew themselves. Jack Gilbert, a scientist at the University of Chicago and a parent himself, and his co-author, Rob Knight, emphasize the health benefits of garden time in their book, “Dirt Is Good: The Advantage of Germs for Your Child’s Developing Immune System.” The two found that exposure to different microbes, like those found in a garden, strengthens a child’s immune system and makes them less likely to develop allergies. If this is your first time gardening, you don’t need much to get started. Grab a few shovels, a pair of gloves for each family member, and fresh potting soil, and you’ll be set. Then, you can decide together which plants you’d like to grow! Carrots are fun because of the surprise factor — just imagine your child discovering that the part they eat grows below the ground! Peas are tasty and fairly easy to grow, as are strawberries. The options really are endless. Depending on the growing season in your area, you can choose to buy seeds or opt for rooted plants.
Now more than ever, remember that you will get through difficult situations, and you will come out of it stronger.
Through this time, we are here for you. We will do our utmost to continue serving you and providing you with the excellent representation you deserve. Please reach out to us if you have any questions.
Is your friend or client in need of a guide related to recent job or income loss? The book can be downloaded for FREE at SupportModificationBook.com. If your friend or client lives in the south Florida area, we’ll mail them a hard copy of the book on request. OUR SUPPORT MODIFICATION BOOK CAN HELP!
Last but certainly not least, the best part of gardening as a family is the healthy, fresh produce you’ll get to enjoy all summer long!
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Stories of Hope Through Adversity When parents started messaging actor Jake Johnson, star of “Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse,” and shared that the movie was helping their kids get through this tough time, Johnson decided he would go one step further to offer support. He responded to parents and offered to send personalized voicemails to kids who could use some extra encouragement.
“When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times” by Pema Chodron “The Water Dancer” by Ta-Nehisi Coates
Turn to apps like Libby, which is linked to libraries and allows you to borrow books for free, and Kindle to access these titles as e-books.
MOVIES: “A Beautiful Day in the
When the world feels scary and uncertain, it can help to have a hero on your side. Johnson’s act is an example of the way we can come together and offer support and reassurance to one another through challenging times. Now more than ever, we can all benefit from a reassuring voice — be it a superhero or simply a friend who’s reaching out to say hello. Looking at other examples of people who have overcome adverse situations can help remind us that we will get through this. Here are a few titles to turn to when you could use some inspiration and hope.
Neighborhood” “Forrest Gump”
“The King’s Speech”
“Hidden Figures”
“Queen of Katwe”
BOOKS: “I Am Malala: The Story of a Girl Who Stood Up for Education and was Shot by the Taliban” by Malala Yousafzai “The Mamba Mentality: How I Play” by Kobe Bryant “Endurance: My Year in Space, A Lifetime of Discovery” by Scott Kelly “The Overstory” by Richard Powers
You can access these movies on a number of streaming services, including Netflix and Apple Movies. Many newer movies are being released through streaming services and are available through your preferred devices, including “The Way Back” and “Frozen II.”
Look to these stories for inspiration and guidance when you need it most.
have a LAUGH
Sticky and Sweet Pork ‘Ribs’
Whether you’re celebrating your mom or those who gave the ultimate sacrifice for our country, there’s no better recipe to grill up than these delectable country-style pork ribs.
Inspired by Bon Appétit
ingredients
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2 heads garlic, cloves separated
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1/2 cup chili oil
3 thumbs ginger, chopped
1/3 cup oyster sauce
1 cup hoisin sauce 3/4 cup fish sauce
1/3 cup toasted sesame oil
5 lbs boneless pork shoulder, flattened
2/3 cup honey
3/4 cup brown sugar
2/3 cup rice wine
1 tbsp molasses
Directions
4.
Using a convection plate on the grill, cook pork until the thickest part reaches an internal temperature of 140–145 F. In a large saucepan, simmer brown sugar, molasses, and reserved marinade for 6–8 minutes. Baste the pork with the brown sugar glaze for 2 minutes before serving.
1.
In a blender, purée garlic, ginger, hoisin sauce, fish sauce, honey, rice wine, chili oil, oyster sauce, and toasted sesame oil until smooth.
5.
2.
Reserve and chill 1 1/2 cups for later use.
3.
In a bag, add the remaining mixture and pork shoulder. Marinate for at least 8 hours.
6.
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Attorney Rosalie Cruz Shares How She Finds Balance page 1
What Is Gardening Good For?
Navigate Life’s Unexpected Twists and Turns page 2
Stories of Hope Through Adversity Sticky and Sweet Pork ‘Ribs’ page 3 Help Your Child Grieve Losing Senior Year page 4
Senior Year Cut Short? Help Your High School Senior Cope With the Loss
The COVID-19 pandemic has impacted the world in unexpected ways. In an effort to prevent the spread of the coronavirus, many schools across the country closed before spring break and will remain closed through the end of the school year. While teachers and administrators work hard to make sure students maintain their academic progress through online education, cutting the school year short has meant that many high school seniors are being robbed of the traditions and rites of passage that come with senior year.
So how can parents help their children cope with this grief? Start by asking them what they need. As a parent, you may feel the impulse to “fix” the situation with a backyard family prom or a graduation ceremony via Zoom, but now is not the time for surprises. Your child is working through loss, and everyone grieves in different ways. Bethany Raab, a licensed clinical social worker who specializes in treating adolescents, advises parents to open the door for conversation but not to force the subject.
“Don’t give too much advice just yet,” Raab recommends. “We really don’t know enough to give long-term advice at this point.”
It’s also important for parents to recognize their own grief during this time. Many parents look forward to celebrating these milestones with their children, so missing these experiences can be traumatic for parents too. It’s okay to acknowledge your own loss and disappointment, but avoid projecting your feelings onto your child. We cannot take back the experiences stolen by COVID-19, but as parents, we can be there for our kids and help them work through this uncertain time. And remember, no matter what happens, you can still mark the occasion with a nice graduation present.
In the face of illness and growing unemployment, not being able to walk across a stage to collect a diploma can sound like a trivial matter to some adults. But if you’re the parent of a high school senior, it’s important to acknowledge what your student has lost. The graduation ceremony, prom, senior skip day, and even that last school lunch with friends are all wonderful life events that many students look forward to for years. Along with this loss, they are grappling with an uncertain future.
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