Beyond the Glow: Navigating Ambivalent Feelings By Jillian Norman Photo by Unsplash.com
T here’s an idea surrounding pregnan- cies that when finding out about being pregnant the only emotions the mother can feel are joy or despair. However, there is a less conversed feeling: ambivalence. Ambivalence is simultane- ous and contradictory feelings towards an object, person, or action. Whether you’ve planned your pregnancy down to the minute or are just as shocked as the next person, it is normal to feel anxiety surrounding the change in your life. Dr. Jamil Norman, PhD, RN, CNE, a maternal health professional, believes “pregnancy is a pendulum.” There is no right or wrong side to your feelings surrounding
your own pregnancy. With all of the change happening in your life and in your body, your feelings may vary from a day-to-day basis. It is normal to feel all of it. Dr. Nor- man gives a few steps on how to come to terms with your varying feelings surrounding pregnancy. YOU HAVE A RIGHT TO YOUR AMBIVALENCE. Many expecting mothers believe that because they want their baby so badly, they have no reason to feel ambivalent about their pregnancy. Your mind might tell you to pick a side, but your feelings are more complicated than that. Human relationships
are never black and white, so do not try to push that binary onto your relationship with your child. It can also be a complex, and sometimes guilt-ridden, feeling to be pregnant and experience anxiety about it— especially if you personally know someone who has struggled to conceive or carry a pregnancy to term. Remember that you do not owe other people your own feelings. DEFINE YOUR OWN STORY. The first step is knowing that it’s okay to have a pregnancy that does not conform with society’s views of what it should be like. Whatever your friend’s, sister’s, or mother’s pregnancy story was or is, that does not
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