them and what the value of their body is besides how they look. AGE OF INFORMATION In a social-media world portraying the “bounce-back” culture, Lowe says she asks clients what their motive is when it comes to looking to social media. If it is externally driven, like comparing yourself, it can be harmful. If it’s implicitly inspiring, like look- ing at a woman, a mom, who did something cool and thinking that you can do it too because you know you are capable, and it feels right and good, then Lowe says it can be helpful. We live in an age of information, and Lowe says that helps us know so much more than we used to. She notes that an unexpected consequence of outsourcing your power to knowledge that comes from a place outside of yourself is that you leave your own knowledge behind—parents become quick to sacrifice their intuition in favor of the latest science or opinion. The trick to finding your own intuition and leaving behind the doubt is to just do what feels good and right, Lowe acknowl- edges. She has found in her field that when a parent is separated from what feels right, there is a dissonance that leads to constric-
tion, fear, and insecurity. “When we ask clients to tap into their knowing and bring it into their consciousness, the body feels re- ally full of love and compassion and almost a sense of confidence and clarity.” TOOLS TO HELP Typical adjustment to postpartum life is characterized by everything being a little off kilter, but having a general sense of the direction you’re going and staying on track with that. If it deviates from that, then it can lead to an adjustment disorder or diag- nosed postpartum depression. “Disordered means that what’s happen- ing is significant enough in my day to day that I’m starting to fall behind. I am starting to struggle in my sense of self. I’m not really keeping up with how I want to as a mom. I’m not able to return to work, or I’m struggling with hygiene,” Lowe explains. If feeling disordered, Lowe recommends getting blood work done to make sure to rule out any medical explanation such as hormone imbalance. She says especially in the postpartum realm, hormones are quite affected. Additional resources are to seek therapy or a support group. “But really it is also about normalizing the experience and then giving the emo-
tions permission to be here,” Lowe empha- sizes. “A lot of mothers fear the stigma of ‘I’m supposed to be happy, I’m supposed to be excited, I’m supposed to want this and I’m scared to death,’ or ‘My body’s in shock, and I don’t know where to go to not feel judged.’” Tools that Lowe gives her clients include mindful self compassion, cognitive behav- ioral therapy, identity work, and mostly just talking. “If someone doesn’t feel their symptoms warrant talking to a therapist, a simple thing a person can do is talk to someone who loves them and cares about them and helps them remember who they are, helps them remember their strengths, helps them remember their goals, their why.” Move your body, go for a walk, get good sleep, eat, and drink water. Those things can make a change. If things are sticking around for longer than seven days, it might be something more than a typical adjustment. “Anything that can be discussed can be healed,” says Lowe. “So just talk about it and know that there is a place to do that. You’re not alone.”
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