What to Expect Along the Way
You may find yourself behaving in ways that are unusual for you, although normal for the grief process. Some people isolate themselves from loved ones; others surround themselves with friends and family, seeking to stay busy to the point of escaping their pain. Some are comforted by wearing or holding the deceased’s belongings, while others avoid tangible reminders at all costs. Give yourself the freedom to determine which behaviors help and support you through this process and which are not comforting to you.There is merit in allowing yourself to experience the pain of grief and alternately focusing on adjusting and adapting to the loss.Allowing yourself to vacillate between the two will help you to go through this process in healthy ways. Finally, be aware that family members may or may not always provide the support you want or need.Within groups of people experiencing the same loss, there are often different expressions of grief. Some will be compatible with your grief experience, others may not. Seek out people who can support you. Consider letting others know what you need.Accept offers of support from friends, your religious community, and coworkers.You may find that your past network of support reconfigures itself after a loss.
You can’t imagine living without this person in your life.These intense feelings are normal and eventually they’ll shift, change and evolve into something more palatable. Also, your recent loss may bring up grief from prior losses, forcing you to cope with confusing feelings. It may take a long time to sort out all these thoughts and emotions. For now, just taking life one moment at a time will help your state of mind tremendously. Grief can temporarily affect decision-making and problem-solving abilities, and cause difficulty in concentration. You may feel like you’re going crazy — a normal and natural response to many simultaneous thoughts and emotions. It’s usually best not to make big decisions or changes when you’re in such a confused and unclear state.When big decisions can’t be avoided, seek the input of an objective person you trust.
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The Elizabeth Hospice
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The Elizabeth Hospice
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