Ancient Wisdom or Legume Lunacy? The Philosopher Who Feared Beans More Than Death Pythagoras (yes, the one responsible for making high school geometry a nightmare) had a dark secret. He wasn’t just a mathematical genius; he was also utterly and irrationally terrified of beans. Specifically, fava beans. And not just in an I-don’t-like- their-texture kind of way. He believed they were portals to the underworld, conduits for lost souls, and, perhaps most offensively, they caused distracting gases. Legend has it that Pythagoras was so committed to avoiding beans that, when fleeing from attackers, he and his followers refused to run through a blooming fava bean field. Instead of making their great escape, they chose to stand and fight. Spoiler alert: It didn’t end well for them. The Philosopher vs. The Bean So, why was Pythagoras so scared of a simple legume? One of the more eyebrow-raising explanations is that he believed fava beans bore an uncanny resemblance to human reproductive organs. Apparently, the connection was so strong in his mind that he once declared, “Eating beans and eating the head of one’s parents are the same thing.” That is quite the leap, even for a philosopher.
Some of the best advice I’ve gotten about being a dad came from my father, sometimes directly, and sometimes in the moments when I had to go the opposite direction. It’s not about getting it all right; it’s about showing up with love, learning as you go, and hoping the lessons make a meaningful difference in your children’s lives. Learn from imperfections. My father said I won’t want to apologize when I’m a dad, or it may be challenging. But at that moment, he was saying “sorry,” which was a lesson. Take the good and leave the bad. Let your children see that strength isn’t about being right all the time. When you can apologize to your kids, you’re teaching them responsibility, empathy, and forgiveness, all at once. Teach parenting while parenting. Use everyday moments to teach your children about behavior, morals, and future parenting values. It could be showing them that even though they may not feel like saying their bedtime prayers or eating their veggies, those are important habits for their well-being. Show them love. Ensure your kids know how much you love them through your words and physical affection. Hug them, hold their hands on walks, or pat them on the shoulder. I will literally look into my children’s eyes, hold their faces so they are not distracted, especially the younger kids, and just say, “Daddy loves you no matter what.” I ask them to repeat it so they can internalize it. Cook and connect. Cook with your children and prioritize having meals together as a family. Teach them a favorite recipe, whether scrambled eggs or your specialty. Show them how to prepare something for themselves or the people they love. It’s a fun, wonderful way to connect and give them important life skills. Experiences over things. If you are going to spend money on anything, use it for experiences you can share with your family to build a better relationship with your kids. It could be as simple as a gaming console with enough controllers for everyone and a commitment to playing together. The quality time will make a lasting difference. APOLOGIZE, HUG OFTEN, AND COOK EGGS DAD ADVICE THAT MATTERS
Another theory suggests Pythagoras believed beans were literal doors to the underworld. He wasn’t alone in this, as the ancient Greeks and Romans were suspicious of fava beans, perhaps because they could cause a rare and severe genetic reaction called favism. Unbeknownst to the ancients, some people (especially in Mediterranean regions) have a genetic deficiency that makes fava beans potentially deadly. So, weirdly, Pythagoras may have been onto something, but not for the reasons he thought.
The Man, the Myth, the Golden Thigh Of course, bean phobia wasn’t Pythagoras’s only claim to strangeness. His followers believed he was a demigod, possibly the son of Hermes or Apollo. They claimed he could tame wild animals just by speaking to them and that he had the power to write messages on the Moon. But the most outrageous legend? He supposedly had a golden thigh. He would flash his shimmering leg whenever someone doubted his divine status and instantly gain a new believer. And yet, despite all this mysticism, Pythagoras’s biggest fear was beans. This just goes to show that even history’s greatest minds had their odd quirks; some were just more odd than others.
–Michael Packard
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