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Your Compass MONTHLY
FROM THE DESK OF Ty Wilson
‘SO, HOWWAS SCHOOLTODAY?’
Fall officially starts this month! Cooler weather is something I always look forward to. Kids are now back in the swing of returning to school. Leaves are changing colors. It’s a great time of year. Oh! Did I forget to mention that football season has started along with all the excitement that brings? Recently, I have been taken aback at all the fighting I see in the world. Granted, I am an attorney, and we pretty much deal with fighting every day, but what I am referring to is the fighting in politics. We are again coming up on another presidential election. Without getting political, please note our political system only works if everyone votes. Both parties are motivated to change our country for their version of what is better. Just remember that without your participation you really should not complain about the outcome. Our world is changing rapidly, and some of it is for the better; some of it, well, we will have to see. Time will tell. At least put in your say where it goes.
HOW TO GET YOUR TEEN TALKING ABOUT GRADES, FRIENDS, BULLIES, ANDMORE
If you’re the parent of a teenager, you’ve likely had one particular conversation a million times. It goes something like this:
You: “So, how was school today?” Teen: “Fine.”
That’s it — that’s the whole conversation. It’s a cliché dialogue played out to exhaustion on TV and in movies, but that doesn’t make it any less accurate. And now that school has started back up again, you and your teen probably have it at least once per week. While the curt reply seems inevitable, it seems worse not to ask and risk missing something important in your child’s life. Also, you don’t want to seem disinterested; all you really want is to make their adolescent years as smooth as possible. So, is there a better way to communicate? According to the experts, yes. Here are a few tactics teachers and psychologists recommend trying to get teens to open up about school and tough issues like friendships, grades, and bullying.
The first mistake is the immediacy of the standard conversation. If you want your teen to talk, don’t ambush them when they come through the door. Instead, wait for a comfortable, casual setting when you’re both relaxed. Don’t make the conversation feel
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like a big deal, and don’t even make eye contact if you don’t have to. Car rides, shared chores, and dark rooms before bed are ideal times and places for tough questions.
school, don’t take over the conversation and start lecturing about how to fix it. Instead, ask what they think they should do and work together to develop a solution. If all else fails, do a little research. Both Psychology Today and Life magazine have excellent lists of questions to ask your teen instead of “How was school?” Questions like “If your day at school today was a movie, what movie would it be?” and “If you could be invisible for the day at school, what would you do?” are guaranteed to yield interesting information, even if it’s not the kind you were looking for. “I taught either junior high or high school for almost a decade, and I get that communication with that age group is an art,” Liz Evans wrote for HuffPost. “But when you get dialogue, engaged dialogue, with a teen, it’s never disappointing. It’s guaranteed to be interesting; sometimes it can be very enlightening, and it’s always worth the work. Always.”
Instead of jumping right in with a blunt question — like “How was school today?” — you’ll probably have better luck if you talk around the subject. Try leading with something new you’ve noticed about your teen’s behavior (a new book, a different kind of music playing, etc.) or something you’ve heard about a teacher or peer. That way, you can set up a discussion rather than an interrogation. Whatever you do, be careful not to sound accusatory when you’re commenting on their behavior, even if it’s suspicious or concerning.
Listen and Learn
It can sometimes feel like pulling teeth, but try to let your teen do most of the talking. If they bring up a problem they’re facing at
their shifts. Some dogs that found deceased victims refused to eat or interact with other animals. Search and rescue dogs became increasingly stressed and depressed the longer they searched without any results, mirroring their handlers. It wasn’t uncommon for handlers to stage mock “findings” of survivors to keep the dogs’ spirits up. Fortunately, the sacrifices these dogs and their handlers made did not go unnoticed. Many dog owners were inspired to earn their search and rescue certifications after the events of 9/11, promising to aid in future disasters and hopefully lessen the impact of such catastrophes. After 9/11, various researchers conducted many studies examining the effect this kind of work has on animals, both physically and mentally. Many of these studies wouldn’t be possible without the AKC Canine Health Foundation, so if you’re looking to give back this September, visit them at their website to see how you can help: AKCCHF.org . Honoring the Canines of 9/11 THE 4-LEGGED HEROES OF GROUND ZERO
In the immediate aftermath of 9/11, thousands of New Yorkers took to the streets to clear rubble, offer supplies, and search for survivors. It was a powerful act of resilience in a deeply trying time, and while most of the individuals helping with the disaster stood on two feet, more than 300 canines also answered the call to service. Dogs of all breeds and backgrounds, including search and rescue dogs, police dogs, service dogs, and therapy dogs, were brought in to help find and care for survivors in the wake of the destruction. They worked tirelessly alongside rescue crews as they searched through the debris. Search and rescue dogs and their handlers worked 12–16-hour days, searching for survivors and victims. They worked through dangerous conditions: Many dogs burned their paws as they dug through hot rubble, and both handlers and canines inhaled toxic dust. The task was both physically and mentally exhausting for the dogs during
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What You Can Do to Help IsYour Child Being Bullied? A new school year is a prime opportunity for kids tomake new friends among their classmates. Unfortunately, kids also form connections during the school year that aren’t always positive, andmany children become the targets of school bullies. If you suspect your child is being bullied, there are a few things you can do to help. Know the Signs Kids usually don’t open up about being bullied right away. However, there are some common signs that your child is being harassed. Here are a few of them:
• If they’re refusing to go to school or ride the bus, they may be dreading their bully. • If they’re rushing to the bathroom after school, it may indicate that they’re being bullied in the bathroom, which is a common tactic bullies use to avoid teachers. • If their grades suddenly change, it may be the result of constant harassment • Anxious or depressed moods can be the result of bullying as well. If you spot one or more of these signs, it’s time to talk to your child about what’s happening to them at school.
Listen When your child does open up, the best thing you can do is listen. It can be tempting to try to give them advice or question the way they handled the situation, but doing this can give your child the impression that it’s their own fault they are being bullied. Let them tell you the whole story, without judgment, and then help them come up with ideas on what to do next. Finding the Right Solution Once you’ve been informed that your child is being bullied, you should inform teachers as soon as possible. Apart from that, there are several ways you can help your child to deal with bullies, so talk to them about what approach they would be most comfortable with, such as de-escalation strategies or a buddy systemwith their friends. As with most conflicts, the sooner you handle the situation, the better.
Take a Break!
Basil Berry Sorbet Unlike standard ice cream recipes, this delicious sorbet doesn’t require fancy equipment or difficult prep. It’s also entirely dairy-free, making it the perfect vegan treat for the end of summer.
INGREDIENTS • 1 cup sugar •
6 cups frozen mixed berries 3/4 cup fresh lemon juice
1 cup fresh basil leaves
DIRECTIONS: 1. In a saucepan over high heat, combine sugar with 1 cup of water, stirring occasionally until sugar dissolves, creating a syrup-like consistency. 2. Remove syrup from heat, add basil, cover, and let stand for 15 minutes. Strain syrup into bowl and refrigerate until cold. 3. In a blender, combine syrup with frozen berries and lemon juice. Purée until smooth. 4. Transfer to a square baking pan, cover in plastic wrap, and freeze until set, about 2 hours. 5. Scoop and serve.
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Inspired by Good Housekeeping
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Inside This Issue From the Desk of Ty PAGE 1 How to Talk to Your Teen About School PAGE 1 Honoring the Canines of 9/11 PAGE 2 How to Respond to School Bullies PAGE 3 Basil Berry Sorbet PAGE 3 Take a Break! PAGE 3
Why Are So Many People Deciding Not to Retire? PAGE 4
FINDING FULFILLMENT IN YOUR GOLDEN YEARS Why More Adults Over 55 Continue to Work According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, upward of 40% of people aged 55 and older are continuing to work past the normal retirement age. There are a number of reasons why people are choosing to stay employed, with one of the biggest being a lack of retirement funds, but some are also using work to keep their minds and skills sharp. In fact, most of the jobs that the 55-plus crowd goes after keep them engaged with the community and help them lead more active lives.
The BLS categorized the jobs many older workers are currently pursuing:
require a full-time commitment. Many even offer flexible schedules, which can help older workers spend more time with peers or loved ones. This balance is exactly what many older workers are looking for, especially those who are “part-time retired.” More importantly, however, most older workers find these jobs fulfilling. They allow older folks to interact with the community and stay active, both of which, research suggests, are essential to healthy living as people age. For many, working past retirement, or not leaving the workforce entirely, can be a win-win-win: It’s a win for your bank account, a win for your health, and a win for the community.
Real estate appraisers/ assessors Property/real estate/ community association managers
These seven jobs are projected to grow between 8–14% over the next six years according to BLS data. They often pay well and don’t always
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