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Dr. Clyde M. Narromore, graduate of Columbia Uni versity, New York City, is psychologist and Consultant in Research and Guidance with one of the largest school systems in America.
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How Would You Answer?
there. It seems to be a meeting place where they visit and hash over the day’s activities. While he never gets drunk and is always wonderful to me and the children, I just get sick think ing of his being there. We have talked this over many times. He never argues about it and agrees that he shouldn’t go so much. I go to church. M y friends are in the church. His friends are outside the church so we do not have any social life together. He feels uncomfortable around my friends, although he does go to church with me sometimes and to the church socials. I feel un comfortable around his friends and never go with him to the tavern. (In fact, I don’t think he would want me to.) I think he might sometimes enjoy an evening of cards with coffee and lunch with some of the folk we both like. But I was also taught that cards are the devil’s tool and I feel miserably sinful when I attempt to learn such games. And yet I can’t see the difference in a parlor card game from any other game that one plays to win with the highest score. I don’t feel I can expect my husband to give up his friends and come straight home to me and the children without offering some outside company and social life to replace it. W e don’t go to dances, movies or lodges. W e both are more in trovert than extrovert but we do need some outside interests and
1 receive many letters similar to the one below. Realizing that many o f you have excellent sug gestions or that you may have gone through experiences similar to the one stated here, I would appreciate your writing me a short letter, giving your sugges tions. A fter I have read your letters I shall select some of the best thoughts and publish them on this page. Of course your name will not be mentioned. I believe that this plan may help hundreds of our readers. So kindly write me today in care of The King’s Business, 55 8 So. Hope St., Los Angeles 17, Calif. M y husband and I have been married 14 years. W e live in the Midwest and have two daughters and one son. We have been very happy except for one thing which seems to horn in every so often. M y husband likes a glass of beer every day after work. I was raised against drinking of any sort and I have never approved of it. When we were first mar ried I tried to he tolerant and told him to have it at home rather than go to the local tavern. When the children came I didn’t want liquor in the home. He was uncomfortable about drinking at home anyway be cause he knew I was offended. So this didn’t work out. Through the years he has gone more and more to the tavern. The fellows he works with go
entertainment. He is interested in Cub Scouts and I am an officer in our Sunday school. What can we do for social activities that are agreeable and enjoyable to us both? Am I fanatic about wanting complete abstinence from his beer drinking? I know that he feels guilty about it and I think some times he does try to abstain from drinking. Since he drinks moder ately, should I face the issue without shame or guilt and ac cept him like he is? Or should I keep on trying to cover up and make excuses to the children, family and friends? I have tried to keep this from them because I am ashamed of it. I am so confused. I must go one way or the other pretty soon as it is getting me down. I want him to be happy and I want to be happy but it seems like one of us will be the loser. So far he has tried to please me. Right now he is staying away from the tavern but I feel guilty because I know it is hard for him. He never shows his feelings when things don’t go right. He is so kind and considerate to me that I feel like a domineering ball and chain. Should I try to forget my hatred of drink and be more broadminded? I’m afraid if I nag too much and am cross about his beer drinking and his cronies, he will turn more to them and away from his family. I love him and I know he loves us. What should I do?
The King's Business/November 1957
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