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Family violence intervention is about protecting families. “How do you protect families without addressing the person that is causing the damage?” Charles Sperling authored “Root Solution,” STAND’S curriculum for DV, where one theme is ‘Power and Control Dynamics,’ teaching the difference between desire and demand; for example: “Once my desire becomes a demand, I’ve written the first line in my recipe for disaster.” Another theme is the ‘Male Responsibility Matrix’ covering subjects like: “Who taught you how to be a man?” and “What did they teach you?’ He adds, “It’s never about what she did or what she said happened.” It’s about taking responsibility—‘I’ versus ‘You.’
He adds that some clients who complete the program come back week after week without obligation. “They call it getting a tune-up.” Learned behavior can be unlearned, and new habits can lead to healing—for everyone involved.
LeBryan Sperling
“We allow that person to share without judgment so that we can look at how they could better manage that situation.” Domestic abuse spans subcultures, race, social
economics, and countries. LeBryan states that STAND is pro-women’s rights and comes from a place of empowerment for men. “From the time we are young, we're taught what a man is supposed to do and what a man is not supposed to do.” What’s missing is often: owning our own feelings, nonviolent communication, understanding anger management, and self- awareness. He hopes to share this curriculum with large groups of men, even in college-level arenas, to “…prevent some of the same violence that causes us to have to do this work in the first place.”
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