Take a look at this month's edition of the Promise Law Post!
December 2020
The Way We Grew In the Middle of a Crisis
I think we’re all tired of talking, thinking, and hearing about 2020, but as we prepare to close out this 12th and final chapter in a year consumed by a pandemic and an election, I can’t help but reflect on what has helped me get through it all. It’s very easy for stress to disrupt our routines and wreak further havoc on our well-being. It may seem so basic, but following good habits can counterbalance that. I’ve always tried to cultivate good habits, and it’s the good habits that have anchored me to a sense of purpose and normality during a year that felt anything but “normal.” These habits were small, but taking regular breaks away from my computer screen and work, going for walks, checking in at Zoom-based yoga classes, and getting enough sleep kept me steady in the throes of a difficult year. At Promise Law, consistent team habits and a focus on our strengths have guided us through this pandemic so far. We began the year with a fresh team, having merged law firms in September 2019. We were learning about our work styles and communication preferences while staying focused on the ways we could cultivate a strong team. As you can imagine, by late February, the pandemic became really disruptive, but I believe this is where we grew.
It wasn’t always easy. We could no longer just walk down the hall and hash out questions. Instead, we had to build our relationships and complete our work over digital platforms. Our weekly online team meetings, where we reviewed our goals and improved our processes, and nearly daily “check in” calls to just see how we were doing and what we were working on that day became the constant thread that kept us together. They felt normal during a time when normalcy was rare. Despite the challenges we faced as a team this year, I believe we have done some very exciting things. We’re all looking forward to what the next year will bring and how we can continue to provide innovative guidance to our clients. In fact, we were able to continue and improve two things throughout the year that I believe are worth highlighting. To start, 2020 was the beginning of our Client Maintenance Program. (I know. Great timing on our part!) We had plans to offer in-person client education and other events, and we had been making a big push for this program at the end of last year. As you may have guessed or saw, our plans have completely changed, but I am happy to share that we have found a way to continue this program safely. We had two online educational events with updates on the
law and what to do when a loved one dies. Just last month our PIE members enjoyed an in-person (safely distanced) “hello” and nabbed a slice of real pie at our Parking Lot PIE Party. (Why pie? It’s a play on our central theme of the program — People, Investments, and Education.) Secondly, we’ve organized our team to support a full Medicaid practice. We want to be able to help those in a crisis get their loved ones long-term care and do what we can to help ease the extreme stress in a crisis like that. I think we all understand how significant this can be. In some respects, this has been a challenging year for me. But through another lens, it’s a year where I’ve learned the value of those good habits. My team continued to grow together, and I even married my best friend in a year that saw him fight for his life. There is so much to be thankful for this year — even if I’m ready to turn the page and begin again anew.
Wishing you all the best for this holiday season and in the year ahead!
-Geneva Perry
UPCOMING WORKSHOPS*
ESTATE PLANNING WORKSHOPS Wednesday, Dec. 9, 2:30–4:30 p.m. Tuesday, Dec. 15, 5:30–7:30 p.m.
MEDICAID WORKSHOP Wednesday, Dec. 2, 9:30–10:30 a.m.
*All workshops are offered virtually so you can learn in the comfort and safety of your own home! Register at www.PromiseLaw.com or by calling (757) 690-2470.
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3 GIFT-GIVING TIPS That Won’t Kill Your Savings
Think beyond store-bought or expensive items.
Ah, the holidays. It’s a time of sweet treats, family, and giving back — and sometimes giving a little too much. When it comes to the perfect holiday gift, many people spend too much money. The average American spends nearly $1,000 on gifts during the December holidays alone! It’s possible to cut back and make it to January without major debt. Here’s how.
Sure, everyone wants this holiday season’s “it” item, but sometimes the best gifts don’t even come wrapped under the tree. Instead, look to your own talents as a clue to what you should give. If you’re a great crafter, create something unique for the people on your list. If you can offer the gift of time, provide a free night of babysitting for your friends with kids or an experience at the local theater. These gifts have a bonus factor: Recipients love the gift when they open it, and they love it when they get to use it!
Set a budget — and stick to it.
Setting a holiday budget ensures you only spend what you can afford. It also narrows down your search. If you choose to buy your neighbor something, but they aren’t your top priority, set their budget at a lower level, like $25–$50. If you have a sibling who has had a rough year and you’d like to make their holidays a little brighter, bump their budget up. This narrows the focus of what you’re looking for so you don’t stumble into something you can’t afford. Ultimately, it’s the spirit of giving during the holidays that makes them so rewarding. With a little ingenuity, you can be generous and avoid the stress of excess debt come January.
Check your list — twice!
The list is going to be your secret weapon to tackling the holidays with your savings still intact. Start by writing down the name of every person you’d like to get a gift for. Now, with the exception of your immediate family members, narrow the names down to your top five — top 10 if you’re really popular. Now, place the names of the people who didn’t make the cut into a second list. If you still feel the need to do something for them, send homemade cookies or a handwritten note instead of purchasing something. This limits how much you actually have to spend!
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spellings of common names. Additionally, the name must match the biological sex of the child: girls with feminine names and boys with masculine names. And another thing, traditional last names cannot be used as a first name. Many other countries have similar laws, including Germany. While the German laws are not as strict as Denmark’s, they state that the name must match the sex and that any name must not bring harm to the child. That is to say, if the child is likely to be bullied because of the name, it may be rejected.
No Running Out of Gas on the Autobahn
The “no gas” law is designed to minimize hazards and accidents on the road. It’s also illegal to stop on the side of the Autobahn, unless you’re experiencing an emergency or car trouble, such as an unforeseen issue with the engine. Running out of gas is considered a “foreseen” issue, thanks to fuel indicators.
Should you run out of gas and require assistance, you must not leave your vehicle, because it’s also illegal to walk on the Autobahn. If you do need to pull over, you must do so in designated areas or leave the highway altogether.
Speaking of Germany, home of the Autobahn, it’s illegal to run out of gas while driving on the superhighway. In fact, driving on the Autobahn comes with many restrictions. That’s the trade-off for accessing an efficient road system where some stretches lack a speed limit.
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WHAT’S NEW AT PROMISE LAW Have you heard? We’re now offering a FREE virtual workshop “The Three Biggest Misconceptions of Medicaid.” Join us to learn why these things are NOT true: 1. If you need Medicaid, they can take your home. 2. You have to give assets away to protect them from Medicaid. 3. If you give your assets away, you have to wait 60 months to qualify for Medicaid.
It’s not always easy to share feelings of frustration, anger, sadness, or other strong emotions — but it’s healthy to share them. Sometimes, we need to vent and get it all out. Venting gives us an opportunity to release these emotions, which often leads to mental clarity. However, when someone comes to you to vent and share their heavy emotional burden, listening can be just as challenging as sharing. You want to be supportive, but you don’t want to interfere. Strong feelings and tough situations may be involved. What can you do to be the listener they really need? It starts with your body language. Open yourself to their emotional needs. Gregorio Billikopf, an interpersonal relationship expert at the University of California, Berkeley says if you begin the conversation standing, invite the person to have a seat with you. Another thing you can do as listener is to position yourself below their eye line. This puts the person venting in a more active “storyteller” position and you in a better “listener” position. While in this position, maintain eye contact. It’s okay to look down or away occasionally, but try to keep steady eye contact. Billikopf also notes that, as a listener, it’s important to avoid interjecting. Don’t offer input, suggestions, or guidance to the person venting until after the person has had the chance to get it all out. “During this venting process, there is still too much pressure for a person to consider other perspectives,” Billikopf says. While you don’t want to interject, you do want to be an active listener. This means you don’t want to be completely silent. This is where “reflective listening” comes in. Occasionally repeat what the speaker says — but don’t use their exact phrasing. Reword slightly in a sympathetic manner. Don’t spin their words or mistakenly interject an opinion, as it may not be the opinion they’re interested in hearing. Alternatively, listening cues like “mm” or “hm” and nods are always welcome. One last thing to keep in mind: You do not need to offer a solution to the person’s problem or concerns. They may just be venting to get their negative emotions out, not looking for answers or explanations. If they are looking for answers or guidance, wait for them to ask. In the meantime, lend your ear and let them know you’re there for them going forward. BE A BETTER LISTENER FOR SOMEONE Who Needs to ‘Get It All Out’
• The reasons why you should never put assets into your children’s names. • Why your current power of attorney may be useless if
someone needs to act on your behalf to protect your assets.
Plus you’ll discover:
• Promise Law’s “recipe” to
• And much, much more ...
successful Medicaid planning.
Call (757) 690-2470 or go to our website for more information or to reserve your spot.
• The unforeseen pitfalls of trying to apply for Medicaid without an attorney.
NOT YOUR GRANDMA’S FRUITCAKE
Inspired by SimplyRecipes.com
Ingredients
• 1 tsp baking soda • 1 cup sour cream • 3 1/2 cups mixed dried fruit of your choice, chopped • 1 cup nuts of your choice, chopped
• 2 cups all-purpose flour, divided • 1 stick butter • 1 cup sugar • 1 egg, room temperature • Zest of 1 orange • 1 tsp salt
Directions
1. Preheat oven to 325 F. Line a 9x5-inch loaf pan with greased baking paper. Ensure the piece running the length of the pan stands 1 inch above each side to form “handles.” 2. In a small bowl, mix baking soda and sour cream. 3. In a second bowl, combine fruit, nuts, and 1/4 cup flour. 4. In a third bowl, beat butter and sugar until fluffy. Add egg, zest, and sour cream mixture. Then, add remaining flour and salt. Mix, then add fruit mixture. 5. Pour batter into lined pan. Fill up a separate loaf pan halfway with water. Bake both pans in oven for 1 1/2–2 hours or until a skewer leaves the cake clean. 6. Use “handles” to remove cake from pan and cool completely on a rack before serving.
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INSIDE THIS ISSUE
1 2 3 4
Growing in a Crisis by Clinging to Good Habits
3 Fool-Proof Ways to Pay for the Holidays Without Going Broke
Not Your Grandma’s Fruitcake How to Be a Better Listener for Someone in Need
Strange Laws Around the Globe
CURIOUS LAWS IN PRACTICE Around the World
No Chewing Gum in Singapore
Nearly every community around the world has strange laws: Some were established decades or centuries ago to address specific issues that came up once or twice; some were created with good intentions but have since become outdated; and there are some recently created ones that still serve practical purposes. Here are three such examples.
Company. You can get certain types of gum with a prescription, but if you are caught with more than two packs or are found littering, you may be handed a very steep fine.
Singapore has numerous laws aimed at keeping the city-state free of clutter, one of which is aimed squarely at chewing gum. As the government made infrastructure improvements in the 1980s and ‘90s, they wanted to curb vandalism and littering so they could keep this new area clean. The result was a crackdown on gum. They take it so seriously that they monitor gum products that pass through the city-state. If it’s en route to a neighboring country, it must be locked up until it’s through. In the past, anyone caught selling, possessing, or chewing gum could be fined up to $100,000.
No Unusual Names in Denmark
When you have a child in Denmark, don’t get too creative with their name. The government maintains a list of around 7,000 approved names, and around 200 names are rejected every year. However, if you choose a name that isn’t on the list, you might not receive an automatic denial. You can get special approval through your local church, then submit the name for approval from government officials. The law looks down on naming children after inanimate objects or alternative Continued on Page 2 ...
In recent years, the law has eased somewhat, thanks in part to gum lobbyists funded by the Wrigley
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