American Consequences - August 2019


But now it’s not just every body that’s smarter than me. Every thing is smarter, too. The world is full of “Smart Devices.” Or so I’m told by a certain smart-alecky, five-pound smart device in my lap... (Although it turns into a moron if I spill a cup of coffee on its keyboard.) Forgoing that temptation, I Google and find... PC Magazine ’s “Best Smart Home Devices for 2019.” The article beings...

’m an ordinary middle- American old married man. I’m used to everybody being smarter than me. Major media outlets are full of reporting and editorials about how stupid my political, social, and cultural ideas are. I long ago conceded the point about who has the brains in the family. There’s a 25th wedding anniversary approaching to prove it. I have teenagers. They know everything. I have hunting dogs. I can’t tell if there’s a pheasant in a corn row 60 feet away. I suppose I’m smarter than the chickens I keep. Although... they’ve got a swell coop, a spacious yard fenced high and low to protect them from life’s perils, and free food every day, and they’re not doing a damn thing – such as laying the eggs they’re supposed to lay – in return. So I suppose I’m not.

AND OTHER SMART DEVICES What if all the devices in your life could connect to the internet? Not just computers and smartphones, but everything: clocks, speakers, lights, doorbells, cameras, windows, window blinds, hot water heaters, appliances, SMARTY PANTS PANTS

By P. J. O’Rourke


August 2019


Made with FlippingBook flipbook maker