DERBY THOUGHTS
THE MONTHLY
FUNNIES OF JIM DERBY
Derby Dad Jokes...
I applied for a job hanging mirrors ...It’s something I can see myself doing… The bank just called and gave me the biggest compliment …they said my balance is outstanding. I really needed that today. At the airport, my friend suggested we disguise ourselves as luggage. ...I said “Let’s not get carried away” My wife handed me two kayak paddles and asked “Which one do you want?” ...I said “I’d take either oar” Deep Thought: ...When you clean out a vacuum cleaner you become a vacuum cleaner. Don’t be mad at lazy people ...they didn’t do anything. 85% of Americans don’t know how to do basic math. ...Thank God I’m part of the other 25%. A PA man is suing Smart Water for not making him smarter. ...I would like to formally announce my lawsuit against Thin Mints. Next week is Diarrhea Awareness Week. ...Runs ‘til Friday…
My November goal is to be less condescending. ...(Condescending means to talk down to people)
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