CAM: Many people carry a lot of trauma, but it's often difficult for them to find a safe space. It seems like you're creating that safe space in your centre. Can you tell us more about your foundation? Natalie : At our centre, we offer support and care services, as well as referrals for individuals who need to escape their current situations and find a safe place. When someone seeks our support, we assess the specific issues they are facing. Usually, the victim is the one who initially reaches out to us, and we offer them a tailored coaching package designed for trauma survivors. We provide one-on-one coaching sessions to help them navigate their trauma. Each case is unique. Some victims require relocation from their homes, and we assist them in finding a new place to stay. Others can remain in their homes but may need time apart from their partners before considering reconciliation. In some cases, the victims choose not to reconcile and need assistance in finding work or developing entrepreneurial skills to become financially independent. This year, we have witnessed great success stories of women starting baking or sewing businesses and quickly becoming independent from their partners. Additionally, we collaborate with other organisations like the Mental Wellness Initiative, Heartlines, and Faith in Action. Currently, we don't have our own premises, but I'm hopeful we will secure one soon. Despite not having a dedicated space, our reputation has spread, and the demand for our services is increasing every day. It saddens me to say that in about 90% of our cases, there is an absent father figure, either on the side of the perpetrator or the victim. If we can start healing men and boys, we will make a more significant impact in our communities.
CAM: Now, entering into your second marriage, how did you address and process your past trauma? Natalie : Both my husband and I had experienced failed relationships before. We were upfront about our expectations and got married within the same year we started dating. Initially, everything seemed smooth, but the trauma and triggers surfaced later. We both realised that we had unresolved trauma in our marriage. In fact, just yesterday, I was telling someone that we've been married for 24 years now, but we regularly attend counselling and marriage seminars. We invest in resources to maintain a healthy marriage and watch movies that help us navigate anger and other issues. We engage in conversations about personal growth and change. We are constantly working on ourselves to show up as better partners for each other. This commitment to reconstruction and constant communication is what strengthens our relationship. Trauma doesn't simply disappear over time; it can resurface unexpectedly. In 2021, I witnessed my husband's struggle when he attempted suicide, and we almost lost him. We were in a good place overall, excelling in various aspects of our lives, but the lockdown and the isolation of working from home brought up past trauma that he thought he had dealt with and moved on from. It led him to a dark place where he felt unworthy of love and believed that few people would miss him if he were gone. So, we embarked on a new healing process together. It was a different experience because we had to navigate how to handle such deep despair when everything seemed to be going well. We have been dealing with this for the past two years, and it has strengthened our focus on mental wellness, behaviour, and addressing our own trauma. It has become a significant part of our journey.
“The NPO will concentrate on programmes that promote deeper conversations to deal with unresolved trauma. We believe that many social ills are the result of unresolved childhood and adulthood trauma, which can be absent fatherhood, single parents, traumatic divorce or loss of income, poverty, GBV, sexual offences, a dreaded disease, or someone who believes that they do not fit in. As a result, they resort to being withdrawn, purely just existing and become abusive or addicts of drugs, alcohol, or porn,” – Alberton Record
26
Made with FlippingBook - PDF hosting