Avoidance and numbing behaviours can also be indicators of trauma. Some women may engage in behaviours such as overworking, excessive busyness, or substance abuse to avoid facing and processing painful emotions associated with their trauma. These coping mechanisms provide temporary relief but hinder true healing. In the community space, signs of trauma in men can include emotional disconnection or emotional volatility. Men who have experienced trauma may struggle to express their emotions or have difficulty managing intense feelings, leading to emotional numbness or outbursts of anger or irritability. Isolation and withdrawal from social interactions can also be signs of trauma in men. They may distance themselves from others to protect themselves from further pain or to avoid triggering situations. This can result in a sense of loneliness and disconnection. Nomfundo : Yes, it's important to recognize the intersectionality of trauma, particularly when considering patriarchy and racism. These experiences can contribute to historical trauma, and for black women, there is an added layer of pain due to the combination of these oppressions. Patriarchy sends a message that women are lesser, attacking our sense of worth and causing soul wounds. This can result in narcissistic injury, where individuals find different ways to protect themselves from the pain. One way to protect oneself is through posturing and aggressive behaviour, known as an inflated ego. On the other hand, some may adopt a deflated ego, compromising boundaries and allowing others to take advantage, sometimes fluctuating between the two. CAM: Thank you, Nomfundo, for shedding light on the signs that may indicate trauma in women in leadership roles and men within the community space. It's important to remember that these signs are not definitive proof of trauma, as they can also be influenced by other factors. However, if someone displays these signs, it may be beneficial to explore the possibility of underlying trauma and provide them with appropriate support and resources.
Our society, influenced by patriarchy, often pushes women towards operating from a deflated ego. This can lead to feelings of imposter syndrome, where women in positions of power don't fully embrace their authority and struggle with a sense of belonging. Understanding the impact of patriarchy is crucial. Engaging in trauma work allows us to drop judgment and appreciate the challenges faced by women in positions of power in a deeply wounded and patriarchal society. It requires analysing and challenging negative messages about ourselves and our worth. Stepping into power can reveal the depth of our wounds, as power exposes narcissistic injury. Leadership shines a spotlight on us, making it difficult to hide. Supporting women in power means moving away from judgment and exploring ways to provide coaching and assistance. We need to acknowledge the influence of patriarchy and racism, which can lead to assimilation and losing one's authentic self. It's common to feel pressure to conform to the expectations of those in power, which can be a challenge when success requires aligning with a mainstream that may view women as either weak or overly aggressive. " That's why I was thrilled when the Mental Wellness Initiative NPO began to support black women executives, recognising the intricate dynamics of being a leader in such a context. " In my own experience, I struggled in my 20s, feeling invisible as I attempted to emulate those in power. It took some time for me to realise that I had lost sight of myself. It's essential to create spaces that honour and support the unique experiences of black women in leadership, understanding the complexities they face in a wounded context.
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June 2023 | Collective Action Magazine
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