When you tell him something, he thinks about it and very quickly puts it into action. They’ve also taught us patience and that there’s nothing we can’t do. The hardest part of our relationship is, honestly, raising these kids and trying not to screw them up. There have been hard things, and we have gotten through every single struggle, and here we are. It’s what we hope to teach them. They’re teaching us that we can get through hard things, and we hope to demonstrate the same to them, be it the way we handle little things or the big losses. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE THING TO DO AS A FAMILY? JENNIFER: I’m all for making memories, so we love the parades and love festivals. They don’t like to just sit at home. But when we are home, we do like to play games. The little ones are always bored. Some of our favorite memories are at the pumpkin patch. Even the older ones get a lot of joy out of seeing the little ones enjoy stuff, which is actually magical. Any little getaway we can have with them means a lot. IS THERE ANYTHING YOU WISH YOU COULD HAVE TOLD YOURSELF BEFORE BECOMING A MOM? JENNIFER: I am a planner. My perfect scenario was that I was going to start having kids at 21 and be done by the time I turned 28– which is when I actually started. So I would tell myself, you just have to roll with it. You cannot plan everything, and I still have to tell myself that every day. I like to know what’s coming next, but simply, you can’t. You just have to have faith and hope that it’s going to turn out right. Parenthood is never knowing what’s coming next. You just have to trust that it’s going to turn out even better than you imagined. I didn’t have my husband at 25. Why? He was married to someone else having these kids! I was over here praying for him, but it wasn’t time yet. And now, look what I have. I used to say I wanted 12 kids, and now here I am more than halfway there. This is where I feel like I was meant to be. HOW DID YOU AND RON STAY CONNECTED WHILE DEALING WITH YOUR LOSS? JENNIFER: We went for his [vasectomy] reversal, and that day the doctor told us “Everything looks great! You’ll be pregnant in no time!” And then we ended up going through a brief stint of infertility. The numbers weren’t good right away, and it was a really really hard time. So getting to the point where
“Yay! We’re pregnant,” I went to the first ultrasound being anxious because I knew what could happen. We went to the first one, and the baby’s squirming around, heart beating, and I felt like I could get excited. We told all the kids and then went to the next ultrasound the next week. But her heart wasn’t beating anymore. Initially, to answer the question, we were stronger, more bonded, and inseparable. We naturally fell into each other [for support], because who else would get it? [Ron] was my rock, and I was that for him too. Ultimately, it was faith that got me through it. I’m a Christian, and I clung to one verse that said, “I will not cause pain without allowing something new to be born,” (Isaiah 66:9). You also need a little humor, which is what we try to bring to our page. You don’t see a lot of people talk about this online, so it was mind- blowing to me how many people came to me saying, “I’ve been there,” “I get it,” “I’m sorry.” That was one more thing that made [Ron and I] really, really strong, was going through this tragedy together. WHAT ADVICE WOULD YOU GIVE TO PARENTS WHO HAVE ALSO DEALT WITH CHILD LOSS OR INFERTILITY? JENNIFER: I named my baby to be able to answer this question. We named her Jolie Hope– Jolie after the baby before her– “Beautiful” Hope. You can’t lose hope. Never give up. There might be a hundred obstacles, you might lose one, you might lose two or three, but guess what? If you stop after the loss, it’s never going to happen. She’s been my reminder. I’ve had really hard times. But all of the hard times eventually pass if you keep a positive, hopeful, faithful mindset. You have to keep hope in any situation, whether it be child loss, or you want to get out of your job, whatever. If you have a close-minded, “I quit” attitude, you’re never going to get to where you want to be. Quick Q’s Guilty pleasures……....................Sweets. Favorite date night………......Trying new things, but also Isabella’s or Flemming’s, or the movies. Favorite sweet treat……………Anything chocolate. First thing you do when you wake up………....Roll over and kiss the babies or drink my coffee. Something you’re looking forward to……………….......................Making the next memories.
NOLAFAMILY.COM | MAY 2024 15
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