Bonding Over Boundaries Understanding Mother + Daughter Duos BY MADISON VOORHIES
T he bond between a mother and her daughter is universally acknowledged as a unique relationship, with nuances that vary from one duo to another. However, one consistent element is the rollercoaster nature of these connections. From the young mother grappling with raising a child while still feeling like one herself, to the “cool mom” navigating the challenges of a bossy teenager, it’s undeniably demanding and stressful. Yet, dissecting this dynamic and understanding its intricacies can play a pivotal role in nurturing and sustaining healthy relationships with our moms. When we look back on shows like Gilmore Girls , we see a show the majority of us grew up watching with our own mothers, and for most of us, we see relationships reflective of our own, whether it’s between main characters Lorelei and Rory, or Lorelei and Emily, or Emily and Rory, and so on. We’re able to find something tangible we can relate to, but we don’t quite get an explanation for why we are the way we are.
As we embark on this exploration, it’s crucial to acknowledge the profound impact mothers have on their daughters, especially during significant life transitions. When a daughter steps into the role of motherhood, and her own mother embraces the title of grandmother, a shift in dynamics always occurs. A PERSONAL TOUCH My mom had me when she was just 20 years old. As an almost 24-year-old fresh out of college with the closest thing to having a child being my dog, I cannot even begin to imagine what that was like. While our first grown-up milestones may have differed significantly: we’re not so different after all (aside from already having a child at this age— sorry to disappoint). I also have close friends who have been through similar situations, whether their moms also had them as teenagers or they had their own babies following our freshman year of college. No matter what the case is, we are all learning how to
navigate these next stages of life. Rosjke Hasseldine, the world’s first mother-daughter relationship therapist/ coach, explains that during this transition, tensions may arise as the daughter grapples with newfound responsibilities and seeks emotional support from her mother. However, conflicting expectations and differing views on the “right” amount of support can lead to misunderstandings and frustrations. ASSESSING ATTACHMENT Have you ever heard of the Mother- Daughter Attachment Model? Hasseldine developed this theory to explore the emotional reasons behind arguments between mothers and daughters, explaining why they may fight and struggle with their relationship among other similar scenarios. Figuring out the dynamic you have with your mom can be monumental in explaining the struggles you may face in your own relationship. When reflecting on your relationship with your mom or daughter, consider the following categories:
22 MAY 2024 | NOLAFAMILY.COM
Made with FlippingBook interactive PDF creator