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The Cary Connection MAY 2022
FROM THIS DAY FORWARD HOW NEWLYWEDS SHOULD PLAN FOR THE FUTURE
Memorial Day is just around the corner, which means it’s almost wedding season. Especially after the last two years we’ve had, I expect to see a lot of big celebrations coming up soon. Getting married is one of the happiest moments in any person’s life. So, it’s not surprising that few people use it as an opportunity to review their estate plans. But marriage isn’t just for the young anymore, and fewer people rely on wedding gifts to establish their households. More and more people now enter new unions with children or significant assets. So, newlyweds owe it to themselves and their future to have difficult conversations early. The first step any newly married couple should take is updating their power of attorney and appointing each other. Whether they’re new to estate planning or already have an existing plan in place, the new spouse should be legally designated as the person who can make medical decisions and access financial assets. Many people skip this step because they assume everything will automatically default to their spouse. But automatic designations are not guaranteed, and they’re harder to prove. If your spouse is in the hospital, you don’t want to take time proving who you are or what rights you have. Nor do you want another family member presumptively stepping up in your place. Having clear legal paperwork removes the assumption, makes the process more efficient, and ends the need to think about small details in times of crisis. Second, all newlyweds should ensure they understand each other’s assets. Virtually everyone knows if their new spouse has a house, a car, or a dog — but they may not know about the IRA, 401(k), or safety deposit box they have stashed away. New couples should review everything, determine how they want it distributed, and start a conversation with their estate planning attorney. Include your primary residence in this process, as North Carolina will automatically grant your spouse only 50% of it after your death if they’re not on the title. Once all assets are accounted for, newlyweds should review their beneficiaries. If they want their spouse to receive their insurance benefits or investments, they need to be listed. But secondary beneficiaries are equally important in case the couple somehow dies
together. It’s unpleasant to think about, but it’s better than family members trying to pick up the pieces after a tragedy.
Last but not least, newlyweds with children should think about whom they would want to take over guardianship if the worst were to happen. Too often, people primarily insist that a certain person should not raise their children. That’s all well and good, but whom you do want to care for them is more important. It can be an emotional and tricky conversation because both parents don’t always agree on their choice. It’s helpful to have first, second, and third choices for guardians and keep them updated so your wishes can be respected. It definitely won’t be as fun as the honeymoon, but estate planning after a wedding will set you up for a successful and communicative relationship. Give yourself and your spouse the wedding gift of peace of mind. Then, you can get back to enjoying each other’s company for as long as you both shall live.
-Paul Yokabitus
CaryEstatePlanning.com • 1
A Timeless and Influential Book It’s Time to Read or Reread This Classic
years ago, its life lessons and thought-provoking suggestions still apply today because, while technology, education, and infrastructure have all advanced, our basic human tendencies and the way we interact remain the same. “You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you,” Dale Carnegie states. In “How to Win Friends & Influence People,” he explores the importance of putting the needs, interests, and values of others before your own and how to handle situations for the best possible outcome. It takes a deep dive into getting to know yourself before learning how to bond with others on a personal and/or professional level. This book, a brilliant study on human nature, will have you wondering why you didn’t read it sooner while reflecting on situations and interactions you could have handled differently. But most importantly, Carnegie’s pointers are sure to provide amazing insights while you learn to get along with just about anyone.
“How to Win Friends & Influence People” by Dale Carnegie has stood the test of time. Published in 1936, this book has sold more than 30 million copies worldwide. Relating to the key relationships of humans, the book embodies self-improvement, communication, relationship building, and compassion. Every working professional or individual rubbing elbows in their social group needs it in their toolbox! If you haven’t already experienced the influential and game-changing words of Dale Carnegie, it’s time to pick up a copy. If you’ve already read it, it’s time to give it another read to review and remember because there is still much value to unfold. Embedded within each page of this easy- to-read book are recommendations for creating, building upon, and improving successful and positive relationships within your life,
whether it be with friends, family members, coworkers, network professionals, or supervisors. Written and published more than 85
Back in 2005, a woman became imaginative and filed a claim against the owner of a Wendy’s franchise in San Jose, California, stating that she was served a bowl of chili with a human finger in it. Her allegation cost the fast-food chain millions in damages, and as it turns out, the woman’s claim was false. She was eventually arrested and convicted of attempting to extort Wendy’s. On March 25, 2005, Wendy’s was put in the spotlight under false allegations. A woman, Anna Ayala, visited a Wendy’s with her family and ordered a bowl of chili. She then made a large scene, claiming that she bit into something crunchy and discovered that it was the fingernail of a human finger inside her chili! All of the employees in that particular Wendy’s were astonished because they each had all 10 fingers still attached. Even more, all Wendy’s employees at other locations who handled raw materials still had all of their fingers. When a forensic investigation was done on the finger, it was found that the finger was not cooked at 170 degrees F for three hours, like the rest of the chili was. Eventually, it was discovered that Ayala had 13 different lawsuits open against different companies, and when her story began to waver, she dropped the lawsuit on April 12, 2005, claiming it was putting too much pressure on her. But Wendy’s, having already lost millions of dollars, was hard-pressed to prove this was not negligence on their part. They set up a tip line and offered $50,000 to anyone who had information on the owner of the finger. Eventually, after genetic testing, authorities discovered that the finger belonged to a Nevada man who was a coworker of Ayala’s husband; the man had recently lost a finger in an industrial accident and had given it to Ayala to settle a $50 debt. Both Ayala and her husband were charged and ordered to pay restitution. It was quite the finger feud!
For an Alleged Finger in Her Chili Woman Attempts to Sue Wendy’s
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TAKE A BREAK
THE ART OF QUIETING YOUR MIND BEFORE BED
All day long, thoughts run through your mind, and by the end of the day, your head is probably ready to explode. After all, it’s estimated that in 24 hours you can have between 60,000–80,000 thoughts. At some point, your brain needs a break, and that’s especially true before you try to go to bed. Here are some ways to quiet your mind, so you can get a full night’s sleep!
Keep your bed for sleeping.
If you aren’t sleeping, get out of bed! Getting in the habit of scrolling through your phone, watching
TV, reading, working, or even eating in bed teaches your brain that your bed is for things other than sleeping! If you find yourself tossing and turning, get out of bed and try a relaxing activity such as reading, journaling, listening to music, or meditating. When you get tired, try getting back in bed.
MOTHER’S DAY BRUNCH RAINBOW FRITTATA
Breathe deeply. Breathing exercises can not only help calm your mind and spirit, but they can lower your heart rate, which is especially beneficial in relieving stress or anxiety when things are upsetting you. Write it down. Instead of letting thoughts fill your mind right before bed (such as the next day’s tasks or any worries you have), set aside time before bed to write it out. Whether you are a fan of journaling, writing letters, or simply just listing out your problems, goals, and thoughts, grab a pen and paper and make it a nightly routine. This way, your thoughts will be freed before your head hits the pillow. Try a light snack. When you can’t sleep, the last thing that you want to do is eat something heavy. In fact, when you eat a large meal right before bed, your digestive system can become overwhelmed. But, studies have shown that eating a light carbohydrate snack such as crackers or popcorn when you can’t sleep may be helpful. Turn your room into a sleep haven. Keeping your bedroom neat, relaxing, and calm can help improve your sleep! Keep all televisions, computers, and screens out of the bedroom and furnish it with soft colors and textures that are tranquil and soothing to you. Pumping the brakes on worrisome thoughts racing through your mind can be tough, but trying these tips and tricks may earn you some relief and much needed sleep.
Impress Mom with this delicious breakfast recipe!
Ingredients
• Basil, thyme, salt, and pepper, to taste • 1/2 avocado, pitted, peeled, and thinly sliced • Cherry tomatoes, halved • Sriracha hot sauce (optional)
• Nonstick cooking spray • 1/4 cup sweet potato, diced • 1/4 cup yellow pepper, diced • 1/4 cup broccoli, chopped • 8 eggs
Directions
1. Preheat oven to 350 F and coat a cast-iron skillet with nonstick cooking spray. 2. In the skillet over medium heat, cook sweet potatoes, yellow pepper, and broccoli until soft. 3. In a medium bowl, whisk together eggs, basil, thyme, salt, and pepper. 4. Pour egg mixture into skillet with vegetables. Don’t stir but instead use a spatula to lift the edges of the egg mixture until it is evenly distributed. 5. Transfer mixture to oven. Bake for 5 minutes or until the dish sets. 6. Top with avocado and tomatoes. Drizzle Sriracha on top (if desired).
Inspired by EatingWell.com
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155 Parkway Office Ct., Ste. 200 • Cary, NC 27518 919-726-0896 • www.caryestateplanning.com
Inside This Issue
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Estate Planning for Newlyweds
This Book Has Stood the Test of Time Liar, Liar, Fingers on Fire
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Mother’s Day Brunch Rainbow Frittata 5 Solutions for Quality Sleep
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A Blessing for Foster Families
Aiming to Keep Them Together Nonprofit Builds Free Homes for Licensed Foster Families
counties away from their brothers and sisters — is traumatizing. The goal is to provide children a home where they feel comfortable and safe with enough room for all siblings. Once this initial build is complete, Fostering Hopes and H3 plan to build many more large foster homes in Western North Carolina. They’ve even made the goal of expanding into 10–15 counties in the western part of the state!
Studies show that over half of the children in foster care also have a sibling in the foster system. Of those children, more than 75% are separated. In North Carolina, Fostering Hopes joined forces with another nonprofit, H3 Collective, to build foster homes so they can keep large sibling groups together. Some of these homes are big enough to house five children, which is usually the maximum number of children the foster system allows under one roof. Alex Williams, the founder of Fostering Hopes, explained that the need for foster homes and foster parents is so high that, many times, children are sent out of their home county. He estimates that roughly 50% of the 20,000 children in North Carolina’s foster program will be placed outside of their home county. Adam Ponder of H3 Collective was proud to announce that Fostering Hopes and H3 are currently working together on a 3,600-square-foot, five-bedroom home for a licensed foster family, and the group hopes to have it ready for occupancy this summer.
“The intention is to provide hope to children who
typically find themselves without it,” Alex Williams told Fox News. “We hope to keep siblings together, to keep children in their home communities, and to provide dedicated families or parents for children who need them the most.” There is no better feeling than helping children grow, thrive, and flourish. The efforts of Fostering Hopes and H3 Collective are inspiring, heartfelt, and are bound to make a difference in the lives of many children and families.
As if living in the foster program isn’t hard enough on a child, being packed up and moved across the state — sometimes
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