FEATURE J o
talking
the most part the idea could not stand when expressed audibly. Many people make wrong decisions simply because there is no one to go through this sifting process with them, no one with whom they can discuss their thoughts. Talking is clarifying — bringing into sharp focus. It helps us define what we really think. It reveals the true issues and points out possible dangers or benefits. Talking is release. Through dis cussion we rid ourselves of pent-up emotions. After we have aired our thoughts, we often see things dif ferently. Kay, for example, was an unhappy young woman who lived with her in-laws. There was no one with whom she could talk, so she finally shared the problem with her pastor. After a long talk, she said, “Pastor, you don’t know how much you have helped. Just having some one to talk with is a relief. Things seem brighter now.” When feelings are continually sup pressed, we are likely to become ner vous or ill. Tensions thus developed can manifest themselves in a variety of symptoms. But talking brings re lief. As we see things more clearly, we are better able to cope with dif ficulties. Talking is therapy. People who have serious problems seldom make good adjustments until they talk. Talking is necessary for good mental well-being. Many people find it nec essary to seek a counselor because they need help and have no one with whom they can talk. Talking is worship. The God who created us with the ability to com municate desires our fellowship. We can experience our most vital con versation as we spend time talking with Him in prayer and listening as He speaks through the Word. Then consider that there are so many who need your listening ears and encouragement. Perhaps God can use you in this way to be an unusual blessing to some child, teenager, adult or elderly person. People may not need our answers, but they do need our ears. If you find it difficult to commu nicate, you can learn how. Seek out a pastor or friend with whom you feel comfortable and who will en courage you to talk. Or, if necessary, take a course in the art of convers ing where you can learn techniques which will help you overcome your reticence. I do appreciate your writing this good letter and hope you will let me know in a few months how you are making out.
it over...
w ith Dr. Clyde M . N arram ore
Dr. Narramore, graduate of Columbia Uni versity, New York City, is a nationally known psychologist. He is the director of
one of America's largest psychological clinics — The Christian Counseling Center in Rosemead, California.
HIPPIE DAUGHTER, COME HOME
you disapprove of her present way of life. You might find our book, THIS WAY TO HAPPINESS, prof itable since it deals with the basic emotional needs we all have. Drugs of course serve as a means of escape. How fine it would be if you could seek the services of a Christian counselor who could help your daughter discover why she feels the need for drugs and through ther apy help her become independent of them! Such a person could also lead into a personal knowledge of Christ and a close walk with Him whereby her basic emotional needs can be met. Even though your heart is aching at this time, may I encourage you not to give up on this girl. She is not really happy or satisfied. Con tinue to bring her to the Lord in prayer, remembering that He is even more interested in her than you are. Q. I find it very difficult to commu nicate with anyone. I have always been the silent type. Recently I have been wondering if this is unhealthy. Is there any real value in talking? Can I learn to communicate? A. When God created Adam and Eve, He gave them the power of speech. Ever since, people have spent much of their time talking. People must talk. Language is an outlet for hu man expression. Talking has real value in several ways. Talking is thinking. A good way to consider something is to put it into words. Some authorities claim there can be no thought without words. Expressing thoughts aloud helps to clarify them. Talking is sifting. Discussion helps us sift our good ideas from the poor ones. Have you ever had a “tremen dous” idea — until you told it to someone else? Perhaps one or two points were worth salvaging, but for IS THERE ANY VALUE IN TALKING?
Q. I am a salesman and my wife is a pharmacist. We have lost our teen ager to the hippie movement — free love, drugs, etc. She gave every in dication of being a Christian until seven months ago. She has been un der treatment by several psychia trists who indicate she is very bright. They say she is trying to teU us something, but just what, they have not decided. Can you help us understand why our daughter finds the hippie move ment so irresistible? A. I do want to thank you for writ ing. Many families share' your prob lem. Suddenly their teenager has left home, joined the hippies, and seem ingly enjoys it. Evidently, what the psychiatrists have told you is true. Your teenager is trying to tell the world something. But if you havi taken this girl to someone who does not know the Lord, they may have missed all the spirit ual aspects of this problem. You say she has seen a number of psychia trists, so apparently her problem is one of long standing. A number of hippies have come to our clinics and we have seen them go through ther apy and become well-adjusted citi zens. Many have come to know Christ as their personal Saviour. Your daughter needs to know Christ in a personal way. Children may raise their hands in a meeting, walk down the aisle, or in some oth er way go through the motions. But sometimes they really have never been born again. This may not be come evident until they become old enough to display their own behavior. Then, too, there are no doubt emo tional aspects to this problem. Most problems that arise stem from child hood experiences in which a person’s needs for love, affection, and belong ing were never met. I ’m wondering if this may be what your daughter is trying to tell you. You would do well to recognize that a change may need to come in your attitudes and be havior as a family so that she feels you really do love her even though
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THE KING'S BUSINESS
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