Check out the very first edition of our newsletter!
JANUARY 2023
564.212.2733 pnwfamilylaw.com
How We Help Clients Create a Better Tomorrow
Few people seek a family law attorney when things are going well. Most of our clients are going through a divorce; others are typically in a dispute with their ex over custody or child support. Family law is highly emotional, and the wrong attorney can worsen the situation. That’s why the Pacific Northwest Family Law team is driven to provide our clients with competence, compassion, and clarity. Everyone dealing with family conflict deserves an experienced attorney who will put their best interests first. But knowledge of the law and skill in a courtroom is only part of what makes a good family law attorney. Clients also deserve someone who cares about them and will communicate during a trying time. We know how important family is because, as a father-son attorney team, we live it every day. Scott started his career at a multinational law firm in Phoenix, where he worked for over 20 years before moving back to Washington and setting out independently. He fell into family law accidentally when one of his business law clients asked him to handle his divorce case. Scott didn’t take long to realize that he enjoyed this work much more than what he’d been doing.
Zachary joined the firm a few years later. He had initially set out to become a Spanish university professor but found the university life isolating. Drawn to the prospect of helping real people with immediate problems, Zachary decided to join his father in law. We now run the firm together and oversee a team of attorneys in offices across the state. One of our favorite things about our work is how it lets us help families. Some people might think that’s strange to say about divorce and custody battles. But divorce is a part of many modern people’s lives. And while it’s always difficult, it doesn’t have to be catastrophic. Too many divorces turn into knock-down, drag-out fights with overly aggressive attorneys tearing down the other side as much as possible. But that’s not helpful for our clients and undoubtedly not beneficial for their children. That type of divorce can leave lifelong scars, and too many divorcing couples with children forget that they’ll still have to co-parent at the end of their legal battle. We want to help our clients through this process in an emotionally healthy way and encourage them to think about what they want their lives to look
like in 5–10 years. We’re tough trial attorneys when the situation calls for it, but that’s not the work that brings us the most joy. We prefer to help people develop new, productive dynamics with their co- parents and lead happier lives.
To accomplish that work, we let five core values guide us:
1. Win by making our clients’ lives better. 2. Prepare for the unexpected. 3. Seek out responsibility instead of shying away from it. 4. Protect our team by looking out for clients and employees. 5. Believe in a better tomorrow to instill hope in our clients. Too many attorneys believe that if you’ve seen one divorce, you’ve seen them all. They’re just going through the motions. At Pacific Northwest Family Law, we always want to secure our clients the best legal outcome, but that’s not where our interest ends. Our overarching goal is to give our clients a chance at a better life. We want to help them see that the end of a relationship isn’t the end of all their other plans. There is a brighter future ahead, and we hope to help them find it.
–Scott & Zachary Ashby
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VIDEO GAMES FOR GROWING MINDS They’re Not Just for Entertainment
VIDEO GAMES SPARK CREATIVITY. It’s essential that children have a creative outlet to focus on as they grow up. While some kids get this from writing stories or drawing, others can showcase their creativity and grow their skills by playing video games. Take “Minecraft” for example. “Minecraft” gives kids an opportunity to create their own world. They can build castles, create roller coasters, and do just about anything they put their mind to, thus enhancing their creative skills. Some games require kids to play on teams. Consequently, they can make new friends and bond over similar interests. Additionally, when kids play together, they have a chance to practice their leadership skills and lead their team to victory. Sports games and massively multiplayer online role- playing games (MMORPG) like “World of Warcraft” are great for teaching these skills. Be cautious if your kid is playing online with others, though. There’s no telling whom they’re playing with, so make sure they’re an appropriate age before introducing online multiplayer games. KIDS CAN IMPROVE RELATIONSHIP-BUILDING AND LEADERSHIP SKILLS.
Video games often get a bad rap. Many view them as time- wasters with nothing beneficial to offer, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. Many benefits can be gained from playing video games, especially for children. Although positives exist, pay attention to what you buy or rent for kids, as benefits vary depending on the type and age appropriateness of the games. Also, limit the time your kids spend playing video games, as too much screen time can be detrimental to their behavior and attention span. The American Academy of Pediatrics suggests allotting 30–60 minutes daily on school days and two hours or less on non- school days. If they stay within this range, you’ll quickly notice your children gaining some of the following benefits from playing video games. THEY LEARN HOW TO PROBLEM-SOLVE. Most video games feature puzzles and situations that require critical thinking to overcome. Players must often try different approaches to solve a puzzle before moving on to the next part of their game. They’re learning how to make their own decisions to accomplish goals. “The Legend of Zelda” games excel in this area.
Estate Planning for Blended Families
Every blended family sets out to become like the Brady Bunch, but most turn out to be a little more complicated. Children and new spouses don’t always get along, and step-siblings sometimes have strained relationships. Some children are already adults when their parent remarries, creating a distant relationship with the new spouse even when it’s pleasant. These complex family dynamics pose unique and urgent challenges for an estate plan. Few people look forward to writing a will, but everyone needs an estate plan. Without one, your estate can lose significant value in legal fees, take years to wind through the courts, and harm your surviving family members’ relationships with one another. But estate planning takes on extra urgency for blended families. It also requires careful thought, as common wisdom might not apply.
Here’s one common scenario: A husband and wife with two children each from previous relationships. They love one another very much and treat all children as though they were their own. The husband dies without an estate plan and his wife inherits everything. That’s okay because she still cares for all the children equally, but then she also passes away with an estate plan. Now her children and not her stepchildren inherit everything — effectively cutting off the father’s children from their inheritance because they did nothing. The above example is frightening enough when it comes to money, but it becomes even more fraught when taking assets with emotional ties, like family homes, into account. While many believe, with good reason, that everything will work out. The price of doing nothing is high. An experienced estate attorney can help blended families protect all their members and separate assets appropriately.
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TAKE A BREAK
Our relationships with loved ones are complicated, and many have wished they could wipe the slate clean and start over again. While that’s not truly possible, there’s no better time than the new year to recommit to the people who matter most. Many parents feel like they’ve lost precious time with their children during and after a divorce. But it’s also in their power to restore the relationship and make it stronger than ever. Many parent-child relationships take a hit during the divorce process. Some parents make the critical mistake of bad-mouthing the child’s other parent or neglecting their emotional needs. Whether or not their assessments are accurate, kids frequently blame one parent for the divorce, straining their relationship. Even the most well-adjusted parents and kids must find new ways to relate to each other when they’re not living under the same roof every day of the year. No matter what challenges you’re dealing with, parents should start by opening the lines of communication. Whether your child is angry with you or not, they need a safe way to process their feelings about the divorce. Remember that they may not want to talk right away. That’s normal, and showing your continued interest will allow them to approach you when ready. Next, make time for your child — even if they don’t want to make time for you. Children may pull back from their parents during and after a divorce, but the parent cannot do the same. Attend school events, make time for joint activities, and suggest ways to spend time together. Don’t force it, but be available. Even though your family has changed, your kids need to know that your love for them has not. There’s also no shame in seeking out expert help. Therapy helps many families in times of difficulty. Your child may benefit from speaking with someone, and family therapy can help you work through complex issues and reconnect with one another. Don’t hesitate to seek resources to help you communicate and understand each other better. Finally, remember that no relationship becomes stronger overnight. A single heart-to-heart only resolves complex family dynamics on television. Keep making your best effort, and don’t give up when things get tough. Your relationship with your children is worth it. MENDING BROKEN TIES Reconnecting With Your Children in the New Year
SOLUTION:
Many options are available, including trusts that pass assets to your children after your spouse passes away. Other people utilize life insurance policies and retirement accounts to leave an immediate inheritance to their children without cutting off a living spouse’s resources. Blended families also often have tricky questions regarding powers of attorney, trustees, and executors. Resolving these matters will take honesty and communication, but they’ll also require professional legal assistance. A carefully considered estate plan can protect all your family members, but failing to prepare can leave the people you love out in the cold and resenting each other.
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1359 Columbia Park Trail Richland, WA 99352 564.212.2733 pnwfamilylaw.com
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1 | Why We Do This Work
2 | What Our Kids Can Learn From Video Games
Estate Planning Challenges for Blended Families
3 | Reconnecting With Your Kids After Divorce
4 | Tips for a Cozy Winter Picnic
It’s Cozy Season! 4 Tips for a Successful Winter Picnic
socks, and an extra set of clothing for unexpected changes in the weather. Believe it or not, a large beach umbrella is extremely helpful in protecting you from the winter elements. You can even plan some active picnic games to keep your body moving and the heat flowing! LIGHT A BONFIRE If the location of your picnic permits, light a fire to cozy up next to. Some beaches and campgrounds have designated firepit areas to start a fire while enjoying a warm winter meal. You can even cook your food over the fire! Remember to be careful when building a fire in the wilderness and take proper safety precautions. PACK HOT MEALS Picnics are all about ease and relaxation! Here are some toasty and
hearty winter picnic meal ideas to help warm you up:
• • • • • • • • •
Soup Stew
This time of year, we all enjoy nestling up by a fire, cuddling under a blanket on the couch, or enjoying a warm cup of joe at the local coffee shop. If someone were to propose a winter picnic at the local park, you’d probably think they were crazy. But don’t be so quick to dismiss the idea. With these four tips for hosting a winter picnic, you’ll be up for having lunch outside in January any time. KEEP WARM Maintaining heat in winter is at the forefront of all concerns, and your winter picnic is no different. Be sure to pack hats, scarves, gloves, blankets,
Pot pie
Toasted sandwich or panini
Warm brownies
Baked mac and cheese Loaded baked potatoes
Quiche
Chili
KEEP IT SIMPLE Remember, it doesn’t need to be complicated! Even just a thermos of hot chocolate; some warm, freshly baked cookies; a bunch of blankets; and hats and gloves are plenty for a winter picnic — ultimately, it’s all about soaking up the beauty of the most wonderful time of the year!
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