TAKE A BREAK
Our relationships with loved ones are complicated, and many have wished they could wipe the slate clean and start over again. While that’s not truly possible, there’s no better time than the new year to recommit to the people who matter most. Many parents feel like they’ve lost precious time with their children during and after a divorce. But it’s also in their power to restore the relationship and make it stronger than ever. Many parent-child relationships take a hit during the divorce process. Some parents make the critical mistake of bad-mouthing the child’s other parent or neglecting their emotional needs. Whether or not their assessments are accurate, kids frequently blame one parent for the divorce, straining their relationship. Even the most well-adjusted parents and kids must find new ways to relate to each other when they’re not living under the same roof every day of the year. No matter what challenges you’re dealing with, parents should start by opening the lines of communication. Whether your child is angry with you or not, they need a safe way to process their feelings about the divorce. Remember that they may not want to talk right away. That’s normal, and showing your continued interest will allow them to approach you when ready. Next, make time for your child — even if they don’t want to make time for you. Children may pull back from their parents during and after a divorce, but the parent cannot do the same. Attend school events, make time for joint activities, and suggest ways to spend time together. Don’t force it, but be available. Even though your family has changed, your kids need to know that your love for them has not. There’s also no shame in seeking out expert help. Therapy helps many families in times of difficulty. Your child may benefit from speaking with someone, and family therapy can help you work through complex issues and reconnect with one another. Don’t hesitate to seek resources to help you communicate and understand each other better. Finally, remember that no relationship becomes stronger overnight. A single heart-to-heart only resolves complex family dynamics on television. Keep making your best effort, and don’t give up when things get tough. Your relationship with your children is worth it. MENDING BROKEN TIES Reconnecting With Your Children in the New Year
SOLUTION:
Many options are available, including trusts that pass assets to your children after your spouse passes away. Other people utilize life insurance policies and retirement accounts to leave an immediate inheritance to their children without cutting off a living spouse’s resources. Blended families also often have tricky questions regarding powers of attorney, trustees, and executors. Resolving these matters will take honesty and communication, but they’ll also require professional legal assistance. A carefully considered estate plan can protect all your family members, but failing to prepare can leave the people you love out in the cold and resenting each other.
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