Bruce Law Firm - February 2020

10 Indicators of Narcissistic Personality Disorder

How to Identify Predatory Behavior

We see it happen all the time: Someone reads the traits that define narcissistic personality disorder, and they suddenly realize they know someone who fits that description. Often, it’s their spouse or the spouse of a friend or family member.

Though this moment can be hard, it can also be a wake-up call. Knowing what you’re dealing with is the first step toward change and a better life.

HERE ARE 10 INDICATORS THAT SOMEONE MAY HAVE NARCISSISTIC PERSONALITY DISORDER.

SCIENCE WANTS YOU TO STOP AND SMELL THE ROSES THE BENEFITS OF SPENDING TIME OUTSIDE In a 2008 survey conducted by the National Trust in Britain, children were more likely to correctly identify a Dalek from “Doctor Who” than a barn owl. Likewise, a 2010 Kaiser Family Foundation study of 8–18-year-olds in the U.S. found that the average youth spends more than 53 hours a week engaged with entertainment media. These statistics, coupled with growing concerns that children are spending less time outdoors, are leading to terms like “nature deficit disorder” and global initiatives to get kids outside. Why is contact with the outdoors so important? Researchers are answering this question by studying the benefits of time spent in nature. One benefit is that outdoor time helps kids understand boundaries and learn how to assess risk. As naturalist, author, and broadcaster Stephen Moss puts it, “Falling out of a tree is a very good lesson in risk-reward.” Not to mention, time in nature may help improve focus for hyperactive kids. In one national study of youths by the University of Illinois, participants’ attention deficit hyperactivity disorder symptoms were reduced after spending time in a green setting versus a more urban one. This may be due to the fact that natural environments call upon our “soft fascination,” a less exhausting type of focus than what is required by urban environments. Emotional benefits were discovered too, including reduced aggression, increased happiness, and improved self-esteem. Beyond just getting outside, the type of contact we have with nature also matters. Visits to nature centers and watching “Planet Earth” are two ways to experience the outdoors. But research points specifically to the importance of free play in the natural world: unstructured outdoor time when children can explore and engage with their natural surroundings with no curriculum, lesson, or activity to complete. Ever notice how kids are fascinated by the simplest things? A child visits a rose garden, but before they even get to the flowers, they become captivated by a leaf on the ground or an ant crawling on their shoe. Children are born naturalists. These are the moments we need to recapture. Take a page out of that kid’s book, and as the saying goes, stop and smell the roses — or leaves or ants — with no checklist and no plan, just time spent playing outside.

• They often make promises on important issues only to break them.

• They put you down in front of other people, including children and family.

They do not care about your feelings or hurting you.

• When you suggest counseling or things to fix your relationship, they tell you that you are the one who needs fixing.

• They isolate you from others, including your family and friends.

• They get upset with you and sometimes very angry over trivial reasons.

• They often accuse you of not being a better partner or more attentive to their sexual needs.

• They are obsessed with money and may keep details of finances shielded from you.

• They make threats about what will happen if you leave them, or “rule by threats.”

• They accuse you of being unfaithful — but they are a serial cheater.

If you know your spouse has narcissistic personality disorder or think they might after reading this, strongly consider working with an experienced therapist who can help you develop and implement strategies for accepting your spouse, learning your future is not defined by your partner and how they have treated you, and having the confidence to move on if that is what you determine, after careful consideration, is necessary for you to have the happy and fulfilling life you yearn to be living. You’ll find a list of vetted therapists on our website, StayMarriedFlorida.com. If you cannot find a therapist in your area, please reach out to our law firm, and we will help you get the appropriate referral.

Is your friend or client in need of a guide as they prepare for divorce? our divorce strategy book can help! The book can be downloaded for FREE at ControlYourDifficultDivorce.com. If your friend or client lives in the south Florida area, we will mail them a hard copy of the book upon request.

2 • BrucePA.com

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