Atlanta Divorce Law Group - August 2023

Take a look at our August newsletter!


Have you ever heard the term “golden handcuffs” in relation to work or love? It originated in the business world back in the 1970s. At the time, white-collar workers would say that someone was in golden handcuffs if they received such a high salary or such excellent benefits that they weren’t willing to leave their job — even if that job wasn’t fulfilling. Today, thousands of CEOs and managers are still locked in golden handcuffs. They don’t love their work, but it enables a certain kind of lifestyle (like having a stay-at-home spouse or international vacations) that they don’t want to give up. Thankfully, I don’t have any personal experience with this. I love my work! But I have encountered golden handcuffs when talking to my clients because the term has evolved to apply to marriage, too. IDENTIFYING GOLDEN HANDCUFFS If you’re in a marriage that isn’t meeting your needs but you’re reluctant to leave because it allows you a comfortable lifestyle (like the ability to stay home instead of work or the status to influence others), then you may be in golden handcuffs. Women are more likely to be locked in golden handcuffs than men, but anyone can fall into this category. Overall, the dynamic is more typical among the wealthy and in cultures where arranged marriages are common. SMART NEXT STEPS TO TAKE If you think you might be locked in golden handcuffs, follow these three steps. 1. Consider your missing need. Do you wish that your spouse would co-parent with you more actively? Do you want a certain kind of intimacy that they don’t? Do you dream about a partner who shares your hobbies? 2. Talk to your spouse about what you want. Their willingness to change or compromise might surprise you! If they aren’t willing or able to help, it’s time to take the next step. AND IF YOU ARE, SHOULD YOU TRY TO BREAK FREE?


3. Choose the best option for your future happiness. If your spouse can’t meet your need, you have to ask yourself whether you’re willing to sacrifice it for the other benefits your marriage can offer. You may not be willing to make that sacrifice, and that’s okay — but it likely means your relationship should end. If you are willing to give up your need in exchange for comfort and security, that’s another viable option, and I encourage you to own your choice! Remember, not everyone in golden handcuffs is a victim. In fact, many people happily choose that lifestyle. There’s no shame in it. By making a conscious decision and owning it, you can take your power back. These steps apply to your work, too. If you’re chafing against golden handcuffs, you can achieve a better life by admitting they’re there, choosing whether to take them off, and making peace with your choice. The sooner you do that, the sooner you’ll find happiness! Note: Golden handcuffs aren’t the same as financial abuse. If your partner is abusive, choosing to stay is never a good option for your health or happiness. –Sara Khaki 678-203-9893

Want to learn more? Listen to our podcast episode, ‘The Golden Handcuffs.’



Will We See You This Summer?


HAPPILY EVER AFTER DIVORCE SUPPORT GROUP MEETING (VIRTUAL SUPPORT GROUP) When: Thursday, Aug. 17, at 6:30 p.m. Back-to-school time creates a special kind of chaos for parents — especially divorced ones! If you’re in that situation, odds are you’re so busy preparing your kids for the new school year that you haven’t spent any time working on yourself and your mental health. It’s time to change that, and our Happily Ever After Divorce Support Group can help.

Our complimentary divorce support groups and seminars are available online! Register for upcoming events and invite your friends to gain knowledge, resources, and emotional support to help you feel empowered while you go through major life changes — all without leaving home.


The saying “when you know, you know” doesn’t apply to divorce. Most people spend months or even years wondering whether to leave their marriage. If you have a friend, family member, or client who is on the fence about separating from their spouse and aren’t sure how to help them, one of the best things you can do is recommend our Considering Divorce webinar.

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If you haven’t joined us already, consider attending our monthly meetings to discuss your divorce and any lingering questions, fears, or worries you have. Your peers will be there for you to lean on, and moderator Kathleen Shack (a licensed marriage and family therapist) will guide you through the healing process. The sooner you join us and prioritize yourself, the sooner you’ll be the person you truly want to be for yourself, your kids, and your other loved ones.

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Don’t Let the Bugs Bite SUMMER TIPS FOR INSECT-FREE FUN! At this free, discreet online meeting, our team of professionals will explain how the divorce process works, what to expect from a divorce, and any financial concerns that might arise along the way. Their tips and advice will help your friend decide the best route for their family. It’s a small investment of time that can pay great dividends in peace of mind! August is the last full month of summer, which means bugs are at their pesky peak. If you and your family love to get outside in the summertime, protecting your family from bug bites is about more than their itchy aftermath. Bugs can carry many diseases that put you, your family, and your pets at risk. For example, mosquitoes and ticks can transmit the West Nile virus, while ticks can spread Lyme disease, Rocky Mountain spotted fever, anaplasmosis, and much more — including causing alpha-gal syndrome (AGS), which is a life- threatening allergic reaction.

USE INSECT REPELLENTS. One of the most effective ways to keep bugs from biting is to use some form of bug repellent. Today, many people opt for non-spray repellent alternatives like repellent patches, wristbands, or clip-ons, many of which work great.

The type of repellent isn’t as important as whether it contains one of these main ingredients:

So, if you and your family find yourselves outside this summer, here are some tips to keep those creepy-crawlies at bay.

• • • •

Lemon-eucalyptus oil

Citronella oil (combined with thyme for ticks)

COVER UP! One of the most straightforward ways to ensure no one gets bitten by a bug is to cover any exposed skin when outside. If you can, wear long-sleeved shirts, full-length pants, tall socks, and closed-toe shoes, especially when hiking or camping. And if you can, tuck your pants into your socks or shoes to prohibit anything from crawling up your legs. CHOOSE YOUR OUTDOOR TIME WISELY. Mosquitoes are most active in the early morning and late evening, so avoid going outside during dawn or dusk if possible.


Diethyltoluamide (DEET)

GET RID OF ANY STANDING WATER NEAR YOUR HOUSE. Mosquitoes use stagnant water to lay their eggs, so any filled buckets, partially filled kiddie pools, broken fountains, or even discarded toys that have collected water can all attract mosquitoes to your yard. Routinely check your yard and dump out any water you find.

Lastly, be sure to thoroughly check for bugs on both your family and your pets before ever setting foot inside! 2

Listen to the newest episodes from ADLG’s Sara Khaki and Shawna Woods!

‘Happily Ever After Divorce Podcast’

Concierge Partner’s Corner Feel Fitter and Slimmer With Nutritionally Yours

Reduce Pre-Flight Wait With TSA PreCheck When you arrive at the airport, you likely feel resigned to the hassle of waiting in a long security line and taking off your shoes. But did you know there’s an elite flight club full of people who don’t need to go through that routine? They have that privilege because TSA PreCheck has confirmed they aren’t a security threat. Best of all, the program is inexpensive and easy to join. The Transportation Security Administration (TSA) began the TSA PreCheck program in 2013 to improve frequent flyers’ experience. TSA performs an enhanced security screening on applicants and issues those who pass muster a Known Traveler Number (KTN) that entitles them to fewer security checks at the airport. A TSA PreCheck registration, however, won’t let you waltz straight from the parking lot to your plane. Members must still walk through a metal detector and allow the TSA to X-ray carry-on items. But people with TSA PreCheck can bypass the full body scan or pat down. They also keep their shoes and belts on while leaving laptops and appropriately sized liquids in their carry-on bags. Finally, PreCheck passengers have a designated security line where, in March 2021, TSA reported the average wait was only 5 minutes. The vast majority of airlines and airports operating in the U.S. accept TSA PreCheck, and you can apply with an online application. You must finish registration and submit fingerprints at an in-person enrollment center, but most appointments take about 10 minutes. Five years of enrollment costs $78. At that price, even those who only book one round-trip flight a year might decide to avoid the typical security hassle. Further, many credit cards will reimburse the cost. TSA PreCheck isn’t the only method on the market. Nexus is another domestic security program, and Global Entry allows expedited processing through customs and immigration when returning to the U.S. on international flights. Which service best meets your needs depends on your travel habits. But if you fly regularly, these programs are almost certainly worth your time and money. Don’t get left behind — consider enrolling before your next trip! 3 678-203-9893 DON’T REMOVE YOUR SHOES

Extra weight, pain, inflammation, lack of sleep, and brain fog can all slow you down and hold you back

from your goals. Do you want to run around more with your kids without getting tired? Achieve that next milestone at work? Gain the confidence you need to date again? If so, Alane Wincek may be able to help. Alane is a holistic health nutritionist, metabolism expert, and naturopath based in Roswell. She offers virtual and in-person health coaching and creates personalized health and nutrition plans for people like you. “I have joyfully helped thousands of people from all over the country to lose weight, boost their metabolism, eliminate pain, increase energy, improve mental clarity, restore hormonal balance, fix their gut, [and] get fit and lean while recovering from all sorts of health challenges,” she says on her website.

If you’d like to learn more about Alane’s company, Nutritionally Yours, and how she can help you, call 678-372-2913 or visit .

“I’m not sure where to even start. I went to ADLG in desperate need of help. My previous attorneys failed me completely, and I showed up with a very complicated mess of a case. This was a long journey, but they were there with me every step of the way. They cared for me and my child as if we were part of their family. “Although I know I was paying for the service, not every attorney or law firm will actually care in the way they did. I’m so happy I found them. Thank you to Megan Hoxsey, my attorney, for being so diligent and helping me finally get sole custody of my child and [get] our safety back. Also, thank you to AJ, Whitney, Allen Russell, and Stephanie Weil. I’ll be forever thankful to everyone who worked on my case.” –Victoria A. WHAT OUR CLIENTS ARE SAYING!

How Extracurricular Activities Benefit Your Kids Unlock a World of Opportunities

HELPS THEM DISCOVER THEIR PASSIONS There are countless examples of kids discovering their true passion through participating in extracurricular activities. Your child might not become a professional athlete, but they might discover an alternate career path, like becoming a physical therapist or personal trainer by playing a sport. If your kid likes animals, they might find a prospective career path by volunteering at the zoo. If one activity doesn’t appeal to them, try another. Before long, you’ll find the perfect interest for your child.

As children return to school in August, they’ll likely be interested in one or more extracurricular activities. Opportunities both in school and in the community are numerous, such as participating in a local play, joining a school club or sports team, and many others. Extracurricular activities are perfect for getting kids out of the house, but these ventures will also help them gain valuable experiences along with these three benefits. IMPROVES SOCIAL SKILLS One of the biggest concerns parents have had since we experienced lockdowns during the pandemic is that their children struggle to communicate with others. Most of these kids were away from their peers for a year or more, which weakened their social skills. Participating in an extracurricular activity gives your kids a chance to communicate with others outside of a school setting. They’ll learn how other people think and how to best respond to certain situations BOLSTERS COLLEGE APPLICATIONS If your child wants to attend college after high school, joining a club, team, or organization will give them a leg up on other candidates. College admissions officers love to see students who participate in extracurricular activities because it shows they are involved in their community and possess leadership and teamwork skills. While extracurriculars are not as important as other factors for college admissions, they still play a decisive role in the college’s choice to accept your child.

USE THESE 3 TIPS TO HELP THEM TALK ABOUT IT Is Your Friend Considering Divorce?

Your parents probably told you it’s rude to stick your nose into someone else’s relationship. But if you have a friend, family member, or client considering divorce, that social “rule” may not apply — especially if they’ve confided in you. The decision to divorce is one of the hardest a person can make, so your friend needs your advice, counsel, and support. They may ask for it, or they may stay quiet out of embarrassment. That begs the question: How do you bring up such a sensitive topic? We’ve spent years having these tough talks, so here are our three best tips to help your friend open up. 1. Leverage your personal experience. Are you divorced, or have you been in a relationship with a dynamic similar to your friend’s? If so, you can start the conversation by sharing your personal experience in a delicate, gossip-free way. This will set the stage for your friend to offer their thoughts, feelings, and worries.

conversation is by giving your friend a blanket assurance that you’re there to talk if and when they’re ready. You can point back to your initial conversation with them (or a worrying incident they shared) and say, “Whenever you want to talk more about that, I’m here to listen,” or “I’m concerned about you — is it okay if I check in every few days to see how you’re doing?” They may open up on the spot! 3. Quietly offer resources. You can help your friend without saying a word. If you think they’re too scared or embarrassed to talk further about their situation, consider quietly and discreetly sending them our “Get Ready Kit.” It’s a short, powerful e-book explaining how to decide if divorce is the right step, how the process works, and how to prepare. To share the “Get Ready Kit,” scan the QR code on this page and text or email the link to your friend. If you’re worried about their spouse accessing their electronics, you can also print a copy and share it with them in person.

2. Explain that your door, inbox, etc., is always open. Sometimes the best way to start a


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