TEXARKANA MAGAZINE
I still remember the exact moment everything shifted, the moment the air left the room, the moment time split into “before” and “after.” Gideon was only sixteen months old, full of giggles and sunshine, when a doctor looked at us with steady eyes and said the words that would reroute the entire trajectory of our lives.“Your son’s MRI shows a rare and aggressive brain tumor.” I do not remember what I said or did not say. I do not remember how long I sat there in silence. What I do remember is the feeling. It was like my body had turned to stone, like the world was closing in around me, like I was suffocating inside my own chest. This cannot be happening to my baby,
my sweet, tiny boy who still fit on my hip and reached for me with sticky fingers. I remember pleading silently, “Lord, please. Please, God, no. This must be a mistake.” No parent imagines this road, the scans, the medical terms, the worry that swallows you whole in an instant. You know children get sick. You know tragedy exists. But you never expect the mountain to land right on your doorstep. Yet even in that moment, buried under the shock and overwhelming feelings, we felt the Lord whisper, “I am here.” And somehow, in ways that made no sense, we fully trusted Him. Right then and there, I prayed the prayer that would carry me through. I
prayed He would give me peace that passes all understanding, faith that would not waver in the most difficult of times, and understanding of His will for my child’s life. I believe no matter what happens, the Lord is, and always will be, good. So we placed our shaking hands, our racing thoughts, and our fear of the unknown in Him—the One who is steady, comforting, and faithful. We did not have the strength. But He did. “Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be terrified, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will never leave you nor forsake you.” Deuteronomy 31:6 The neurosurgeon spoke with honesty and compassion. Gideon’s tumor, a choroid plexus papilloma, was rare, extremely vascular, and risky to remove. Surgery was necessary, he said, because these tumors could grow quickly. But the surgery itself carried danger for a child as small as Gideon. Blood loss alone could be catastrophic. A pediatric vascular surgeon was brought in. Together, they recommended an embolization, a procedure to cut off the largest blood vessel feeding the tumor. They warned us it might not work. They warned us of risks. They told us to prepare for a stroke to occur during the procedure and that our son might not be the same when he woke up. They warned us of everything except the thing God had already planned. We agreed. The embolization was a success. We could finally breathe, until Gideon began reacting poorly to anesthesia. Then came a viral infection. His surgery was postponed four full weeks. Four weeks of fear. Four weeks of asking God why. Four weeks of fighting to trust that He was still working, even when everything looked like a setback. “Fear not, for I am with you. Do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:10 At the time, we felt defeated and, if I am being vulnerable, beyond frustrated. However, we never once lost our faith, even when we could not see the purpose, because purpose does not disappear just because we cannot see it yet. God was doing what only God can do, arranging what felt like chaos into something miraculous. Before surgery could be rescheduled, Gideon needed another MRI. So after four
At 18 months old, Gideon poses on January 14, 2025, to celebrate being sent home from Dallas Children’s Hospital.
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