Have you ever feasted on chicken wings, your hands stained with barbecue sauce, and thought, Why don’t we just eat everything like this? As it turns out, we did — people only started eating their meals with cutlery fairly recently. Many cultures around the world still eat primarily with their hands. So, why are placemats adorned with forks, spoons, and knives commonplace today? To find out, we have to get our hands dirty — because the history of cutlery, much like the history of civilization, is complex, nuanced, and full of gossip. BIG SPOON LITTLE SPOON Perhaps unsurprisingly, spoons are the oldest examples of cutlery people used consistently for millennia. After all, what good is a fine pot of communal soup without a spoon to eat it with? Likewise, knives have always been used to cut up meat and prepare our meals, but only the advent of individualized meals rather than buffet-style brought along the advent of dinner knives. Forks, however, are an altogether newer invention. Although large serving forks can be traced as far back as Ancient Egypt, the individual, smaller version has its roots in the Byzantine Empire. Around one thousand years ago, the Byzantine noblewoman Theodora Doukaina brought a golden fork to her wedding feast in Venice. It became quite controversial among the Italians, with many shunning the novel tool as posh and overly decadent. However, as royals began to intermarry, the fork gradually caught on. Royals increasingly ate with cutlery and became weary of dirtying their hands with their food. By the 1800s, cutlery was widespread in the Western world, and today, most people and establishments serve meals with silverware! ANTIQUITY — MAKING A COMEBACK There’s a reason movie theater popcorn doesn’t come with a popcorn spoon and your favorite burger joint doesn’t offer sporks; some food is meant to be eaten with your hands. While most sit-down meals will always be the domain of the cutlery-wielding elite, finger food isn’t going anywhere anytime soon, and if history has any say, it never will. THE EVOLUTION OF DINING ETIQUETTE FROM FINGERS TO FORKS
Spotting Gaslighting Tactics in Your Divorce MIND GAMES NO MORE Navigating a divorce or leaving an unhappy relationship can be one of the most challenging times in your life. When gaslighting enters the mix, it can become even more complicated and have you questioning many of your decisions. Understanding gaslighting, a form of psychological manipulation, is essential as you move through this time. From false narratives to controlling behavior, we’re uncovering the signs of gaslighting so you can minimize its emotional toll. WHAT IS GASLIGHTING? Gaslighting is a covert form of manipulation and emotional abuse that’s most common in romantic relationships. In this situation, an ex or partner will do anything to create a false narrative and cause you to doubt yourself, your plans, and even other people in your life. Usually, this manipulation occurs over time and can make you question your memories, lose self-esteem, and feel confused. After speaking with a gaslighter, you may wonder if something is wrong with you. (There isn’t; it’s just what your bully wants you to think.) WHAT ARE COMMON GASLIGHTING BEHAVIORS? Gaslighting can take different forms, including lying, blaming, denying, and minimizing. It’s typical for people who gaslight to lie blatantly and try to turn it on you if you call them on their bluff by saying things like, “You are making that up.” They may spread rumors about you, tell others lies about you, or even have you believe friends or family members are saying things about you that aren’t true. Your gaslighter will try to throw you off course by changing the subject or minimizing your feelings with statements like “you are overreacting.” WHAT ARE SIGNS THAT I’M BEING GASLIT? Understanding what the red flags of gaslighting feel like for you is crucial, as this behavior can lead to depression and anxiety. If you are being gaslit, you may find yourself silencing your opinions, walking on eggshells, questioning the validity of their words, feeling inadequate, or apologizing often. You may find it harder to make decisions or to trust yourself. By identifying these manipulative behaviors, you equip yourself with the power to break free from their emotional grip. Divorce is never easy, but with the clarity to see through gaslighting and the strength to trust yourself, you can emerge from this challenge more resilient and self-assured than ever.
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