Doing It for the Children
Want to Try Minimalism?
3 Simple Co-Parenting Tips
After finalizing a divorce, it’s normal to feel relieved. But if you and your ex- spouse have children, that relief doesn’t always last long.
Even for people who divorced amicably, co-parenting can be difficult. It’s hard to keep up with schedules, agree on expenses, and make a child feel comfortable in two different homes. If the divorce was acrimonious, these challenges are magnified, and co-parenting relationships can easily turn bitter and nonproductive. No matter how you feel about your ex, it’s important to keep your focus on the kid(s) and make all decisions with their best interests in mind. This can be harder than it sounds, so here are three simple tips to get you started. STICK TO YOUR COMMITMENTS. Kids need structure, and that means not changing plans regularly or at the last minute. Barring emergencies, keep to your custody schedule and don’t ask your ex to pick up responsibilities you’ve committed to. This has the benefit of not only keeping things consistent for the kids but also building up goodwill with your ex for the next time you have a disagreement or need a favor. DON’T BAD-MOUTH EACH OTHER. Unless there is a history of abuse (which should have come out in the divorce proceedings), none of your opinions or feelings about your ex should be discussed with your child. Saying negative things about the other parent can make a child feel alienated and like they have to choose sides. Further, children regularly exposed to parental conflicts can feel burdened. For the child’s benefit, stay positive to neutral when discussing their other parent. DON’T KEEP SECRETS. Never ask your kid to keep secrets from their other parent. It’s not fair to the child, and like bad-mouthing, it can make them feel like they have to choose sides. Further, if secret-keeping is normalized, you may be left in the dark in the event that something really bad happens. Whenever something major is going on that affects your child, tell your ex directly. If you or someone you know is experiencing significant challenges with co- parenting, an attorney may be able to help. While courts will not get involved in most parental disagreements, major issues could be grounds for a change in the custody agreement. Call Bruce Law Firm today for help determining if you have a case.
7 Resources to Help You Get Started
Before they separated, Kim Kardashian and Kanye West owned one of the most extreme minimalist homes in Hollywood. One bright white room held nothing but a massive plush “sculpture” by Isabel Rower. In Architectural Digest’s photos, it looks like a giant octopus made out of pillows, and the six Kardashian-Wests climbing around on it appear straight out of a sci-fi novel. The Kardashian-West’s extreme minimalism is a symptom of a larger aesthetic trend that caught fire during the pandemic when people stuck in their homes realized they’d prefer to spend time in calm, clutter-free spaces with neutral colors and clean lines. If minimalism has intrigued you and you want to learn more about the decor trend and lifestyle, here are a few places to get started. Books • “The Minimalist Home: A Room-by-Room Guide to a Decluttered, Refocused Life” by Joshua Becker — This book will take you through the process of simplifying and decluttering your home (and life!) room by room. • “Minimalism for Families: Practical Minimalist Living Strategies to Simplify Your Home and Life” by Zoë Kim — This light read teaches the benefits of minimalism and explains how to get the whole family on board. Documentaries • “Minimalism: A Documentary About the Important Things” and “The Minimalists: Less Is Now” on Netflix — “Minimalism” and its follow-up explore the minimalist journeys of two people who discovered minimalism as adults and now share its lessons with others. • “Thrive With Less” on Vimeo — This one-hour documentary follows six students who undertake the challenges of minimalism to find satisfaction in their lives. (Vimeo.com/ThriveWithLess) YouTube Channels • CKSPACE — If you want to learn more about celebrity minimalism, digital minimalism, or decluttering, this channel has you covered with its beautifully filmed videos. • A Small Wardrobe — This channel, run by a former Australian art teacher, is geared toward women and offers minimalist home, wardrobe, and lifestyle advice. • Matt D’Avella — Matt D’Avella’s famous video “A Day in the Life of a Minimalist” has more than 17 million views on YouTube. On his “Minimalism” playlist, you’ll find minimalist home and habit videos, along with mindset and productivity tips.
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