Self Help Guide
Children Even though children may not understand the meaning of death until they are three or four years old, they feel the loss of close relatives in much the same way as adults. It is clear that, even from infancy, children grieve and feel great distress. However, they have a different experience of time from adults and may go through the stages of mourning quite rapidly. In their early school years children may feel responsible for the death of a close relative and so may need to be reassured. Young people may not speak of their grief for fear of adding extra burdens to the grown-ups around them. The grief of children and adolescents, and their need for mourning, should not be overlooked when a member of the family has died. They could for instance, be included in the funeral arrangements. It is important that a child is told as quickly as possible when there is a death in the family. The news should be broken by the person closest to them in as simple and straightforward a manner as possible. Try not to use too many euphemisms. For instance “Grandfather’s gone on a long sleep” could instil in the child a fear of sleep. They will also keep wondering when Grandfather will wake up. The child should be encouraged to talk about the deceased and any questions answered briefly but truthfully.
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