NJ POP Middle School Handbook

Enforcing Consequences As a parent, be ready to follow through and enforce consequences if your child violates a family agreement. Do ࡟ Impose a consequence if your teen violates an agreement. ࡟ Impose consequences consistently. ࡟ Be very clear about no underage drinking. Don't ࡟ Base your actions on anger. ࡟ Impose a consequence arbitrarily, in the heat of the moment.

The next day, the parent might say, “You violated a very important family rule. Drinking is very dangerous at your age. Therefore, as we agreed before, there will be serious consequences. For the next month, you will not be allowed to play with friends after school or use your cell phone when you are at home. During the next 30 days you can work on building the trust we have lost by making better choices. Emphasize to your child how quickly drinking can lead to dangerous results. That’s why you take underage drinking so seriously.

Here are examples:

A child comes home and has clearly been drinking. The parent is angry and says, “You’re grounded indefinitely. When you’re not in school, you will be at home.” This consequence is set arbitrarily during an angry moment and may not even be possible to enforce. Another parent might respond by saying, “I’m very disappointed with the choices you made. We will talk about this in the morning.”

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