At times, you may have to ask for an agreement based on respect for your authority. In those cases, emphasize that your purpose is to protect and your intent is to eventually give freedom. Agreements are most likely to be honored when they are made in the context of high-quality relationships. High quality relationships are built on mutual trust, where both participants are confident that the other will be honest, responsible, and caring. High quality relationships are characterized by: Respect for one another Empathy and understanding Knowledge of each other Mutual trust Concern for one another
Does The Penalty Fit? It’s best for consequences to match the “crime.” Small violations of family rules deserve mild punishment; serious violations deserve tougher penalties. For example, you could consider curbing privileges, like limiting phone rights or computer access. Evaluate the situation, and as a parent, set an appropriate consequence. Keep in mind that kids are different, so a restriction that worked for one child may not be appropriate for another. We suggest you speak in advance with your child to agree on penalties before a rule is actually broken. Then everyone understands the family rules and consequences.
MADD Urges You To Make The Following Agreements With Your Pre-Teen: No drinking alcohol before age 21 No socializing in places where kids are drinking No riding in a car with a driver who has had any amount of alcohol
High Quality Agreements A good agreement is clear and understood by all. However, parents and kids often make agreements only to have the child break them. Instead of being a true agreement, the agreement really imposes what the parent wants.
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