In the Spotlight
Do Have That Talk About Aging
T There is one thing you can do for your well-being that has nothing to do with diet, exercise or doctor visits. And that is to have a conversation with your loved ones about getting older. This matter can apply whether you are the person getting older or you are the child or spouse of that person, says Deb Logan, Executive Director of the Blue Zones Project, Southwest Florida.
says. “It’s really a part of worst-case- scenario planning. We all know there is premature loss of life. Accidents hap- pen. Someone in the family could get a bad diagnosis, and then your life goes into a tailspin; your brain goes into a fog.
herself, and say that you are thinking about doing some planning yourself. A lot of fear certainly can be attached to the idea of coming to the end of life— again, on both sides. But the person you are talking withmay be relieved that you
If you had had conversations beforehand, it would make that situation a bit easier and much less stressful.” A GOOD CHECKLIST If you’re looking for further help in structuring your con- versation, Logan recommends visiting www.aarp.org and heading to the website’s “Pre- pare to Care” guide, which you can download and print. The guide will walk you through each step of the process and give you a template to work with. “You can think of filling it
“It’s for your peace of mind, whichever side of the conver- sation you are on,” Logan says. “It’s a win-win proposition. But it can be an uncomfort- able thing to talk about. And the longer we wait, the more uncomfortable it gets.” What topics are we think- ing of for this conversation? Things like your preferences if you get sick, whether you have
want to know his or her plans. Carrying around this information on one’s own can be a burden. When is a good time to have this dis- cussion? “It’s never too early,” Logan THIS MATTER CAN APPLY WHETHER YOU ARE THE PERSON GETTING OLDER OR YOU ARE THE CHILD OR SPOUSE OF THAT PERSON.
a living will, plans for after your death, whether you have a safety deposit box and where the box is. Everyone’s conver- sation will be slightly different. HOWTO START You may find it helpful to use this arti- cle as a jumping-off point and say, “I read an article about this, and I hear it’s good for our well-being. Just like we talked about when I (or you) went away to col- lege or got married, can we talk about this transition time?” Another strategy is to ask about whether your loved one has done any planning for himself or
out on a ‘just in case’ basis,” Logan says. “You don’t have to feel like you’re going to need it imminently. Do make sure that your loved ones know where to find your copy when you’re finished.” Logan adds that having the document can reduce the stress of having to think of everything and trying to guess what your loved one would have wanted. “If you’ve ever gone through a situation where you’ve lost someone, or someone was incapacitated in a significant way,” she says, “you’ll understand how impor- tant it is for the people left behind to have some help with their decisions.”
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NAPLES HEALTH APRIL - JUNE 2019
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