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The Cary Connection NOVEMBER 2022
Between volunteers handing out Thanksgiving meals, the growing popularity of Giving Tuesday, and Black Friday kicking off holiday shopping, November is truly a month dedicated to giving. What we give others demonstrates how we want to be remembered — and some of the most meaningful gifts can be given after we’re gone. Leaving a Legacy Charitable Giving in Your Estate Plan
Legacy gifts are charitable designations in an estate plan and a meaningful way to carry on your name and belief after you pass away. But many clients don’t consider charitable giving when making their estate planning decisions. They’re understandably wrapped up in concerns about their children while also accounting for every asset.
But your estate plan remains a living document until you pass away. So, if you didn’t think about legacy
giving when you first established your estate plan, there’s no time like the present to reconsider. The organizations close to your heart can always use the support and will appreciate and remember your consideration. Our clients who give legacy gifts usually choose charities that are close to home. They may leave money to the Boy Scouts due to an excellent, multigenerational experience. Or they might decide to give to an Alzheimer’s disease charity after helping a family member who battled with this diagnosis. Volunteers often leave something behind for organizations they’ve dedicated time to. And, of course, animal charities constantly remain popular. But we ask our clients to be mindful of a charity’s longevity. If you leave a gift to the American Cancer Society, you can be confident they’ll still be around in 20–40 years. But newer and grassroots organizations don’t always stand the test of time. In these circumstances, we recommend listing a cause, rather than an organization, in your will. A supplemental document can then include several preferred charities to consider when the time comes. Some people also leave behind a set amount for charity while allowing the executor to choose the organization(s).
In addition to this, clients should be mindful that many charities have similar names. You may remember in 2020 when people donated millions of dollars to the wrong Black Lives Matter organization. You don’t want a similar error in your estate plan — so do your research and ensure you have the charity name documented precisely. The attorneys at Cary Estate Planning can help you work through all the details so that your donation will go through as little red tape as possible. For example, giving through retirement accounts often reduces the charity’s tax liability, allowing them to keep more funds. Some people structure their gifts through a trust, while others create a longer-lasting legacy with a charitable fund. Donors also have the option to leave property instead of cash to the organizations they support. We’ll be glad to walk you through the various scenarios so you can make the best choices based on your intentions. Feel free to call our office and schedule your review meeting. In the meantime, I hope you and your family have many reasons to be thankful this year and that you’ll enjoy a wonderful Thanksgiving holiday.
-Paul Yokabitus
CaryEstatePlanning.com • 1
Why Do I Constantly Think About This? How to Manage Intrusive Thoughts
Many people deal with unwelcome, intrusive thoughts every day. We’ve all experienced unwanted images or notions racing through our minds, and it can be difficult to concentrate on what we need to be doing. These thoughts can also trigger feelings of anxiety, worry, and shame. But know you’re not alone — some estimate that 6 million Americans are affected, so many can empathize with what you’re going through. Here is some good advice about intrusive thoughts and how to manage them in a healthy way.
Understand they will pass, but prepare yourself for other unwanted thoughts. Most importantly, push through and continue to complete your tasks and errands when the thoughts occur.
If you try to control, suppress, question, act, or engage with intrusive thoughts, you’ll likely be even more fixated on them. You’ll
feel more in control if you allow them to pass through your brain instead of trying to avoid and ignore them. Intrusive thoughts can feel distressing, but allowing them to freely enter and exit your mind will provide you with ease — even if it doesn’t seem that way. However, if intrusive ideas persist and
What are intrusive thoughts?
Intrusive thoughts are unwanted ideas that occur without warning at any time, often triggered by stress or anxiety, or even short-term biological factors, like hormone shifts. They can come in many forms, and people often worry about what they mean, so naturally, they try to control or stop the ideas altogether. But trying to prohibit these thoughts can make them more persistent.
continually impair your ability to work or do things you enjoy, seek information from a mental health professional. You’re never alone in your struggles, so don’t hesitate to ask for help if you need it.
What can you do?
Instead of pushing these thoughts out of your mind, acknowledge that they are intrusive concepts and allow them to linger.
The fire continued to spread quickly, and Bostic described it as a “black lagoon” of smoke on the ground floor. He checked all of the bedrooms but couldn’t find the little girl. Then, as he approached a window to exit the home, he heard a child’s cry. Bostic then had an internal conversation with himself: He knew the child needed help, and although he was terrified to go back downstairs through the fire and smoke, he wouldn’t quit. After wrapping his shirt around his mouth, he ran through the home, following the girl’s cries for help. Once he found her, he picked her up, ran upstairs, and jumped out the window onto the lawn. All of the children were safe and suffered no injuries. Bostic received first-degree burns and severe cuts on his arm. He was airlifted to the nearest hospital once first responders arrived at the scene. Bostic’s cousin created a GoFundMe to pay for Bostic’s medical bills, and it collected $556,000. Late-Night Driver Becomes a Sudden Hero Right Place, Right Time
Nicholas Bostic had a heated argument with his girlfriend one night, so he went out driving around to clear his head and relax. Little did he know he would become a hero that same night. During his drive, he witnessed a raging fire that had engulfed a family’s home. Bostic stopped his car and ran inside despite the flames. He immediately began yelling for anyone since no one appeared to be inside the house — not even emergency personnel. His cries woke up 18-year-old Seionna Barrett, the oldest of five children, and she gathered her siblings together to exit the home. Bostic ran to Barrett and her young siblings, and he helped her take the children outside. But Barrett then told Bostic that her 6-year-old sister wasn’t with them. Without a second thought, Bostic again entered the home, hoping to rescue the little girl.
Today, Bostic is healthy and healing. He now has a new perspective on life and is looking forward to whatever his future might hold.
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College graduates are eager to get into the workforce and start using their newly acquired knowledge in the “real world.” However, according to the National Association of Colleges and Employers, only 20% of U.S. college students in 2009 had a job after they graduated. In 2009, Trina Thompson found herself in that 80% of unemployed graduates, and she wanted to do something about it. I WANT MY MONEY BACK! Recent Graduate Sues Her College After graduating from Monroe College in New York, Thompson couldn’t find a suitable job. So she filed a $70,000 case against her school (the amount of her tuition for her bachelor’s degree) and $2,000 to compensate her for what she endured while searching for a job. In her lawsuit, she claimed that the college’s career counselors promised career advice and job leads but didn’t work hard enough to find her a job. In addition, she suggested that Monroe’s Office of Career Advancement shows preferential treatment to students with high GPAs — not students like herself who had a low GPA. In response to the case, Monroe College spokesman Gary Axelbank said, “The lawsuit is completely without merit. While it’s clear that no college, especially in this economy, can guarantee employment, Monroe College remains committed to working with all its students … to prepare them for careers and to support them during their job search.” But Thompson or the college didn’t have to worry about attending trial because the case didn’t make it that far. Her case might have stood up in court if she hadn’t received a job offer. Her media attention and IT degree caught the eye of Steve Bellamy, CEO of The Ski Channel. He loved her hunger and willingness to put herself out there, and he offered her a position at his
TAKE A BREAK
APPLE CRANBERRY CRISP
Ingredients
• 1 tbsp lemon juice • 1/2 tsp ground cinnamon • 1/2 cup all-purpose flour • 1/3 cup butter, cold • Vanilla ice cream (optional)
• 3 cups peeled and chopped tart apples • 1 1/2 cups cranberries • 3/4 cup packed brown sugar, divided
company. Thompson got the job, so her case was eventually dissolved.
Directions
1. Preheat oven to 375 F . 2. In a large bowl, combine apples, cranberries, 1/4 cup brown sugar, lemon juice, and cinnamon. 3. Grease an 8-inch baking dish and pour the mixture into it. 4. In a small bowl, mix flour and the remaining brown sugar. Cut in cold butter until the mixture is crumbly. Sprinkle this over the fruit. 5. Bake uncovered for 25–30 minutes or until the topping is golden brown and the filling is bubbly. If desired, serve with vanilla ice cream and enjoy!
Inspired by TasteOfHome.com
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Does Your Estate Plan Include Legacy Gifts? Inside This Issue
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A Healthy Way to Manage Intrusive Thoughts Man Saves 5 From a Burning Home
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Apple Cranberry Crisp Recent Graduate Sues Her College
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It’s National Gratitude Month!
It’s About Showing Gratitude Thanksgiving Is About More Than Food
As we prepare for our Thanksgiving feasts, Thursday night football games, and Black Friday shopping, take some time to show gratitude for those around you and for what you have. Here are a few ways to practice gratitude this month. Appreciate everything. Get into the habit of being grateful for the little things in your life. It can be easy to acknowledge the “big” things, but nothing is too small to be thankful for. You can be grateful the weather is nice and sunny, that you received the package you’ve been waiting for, or that you got out of bed today. Don’t leave out anything when practicing gratitude. Practice mindfulness. Mindfulness is the ability to be fully present and aware of what’s happening around you. So, instead of being overwhelmed by what you need to do tomorrow or next week, focus on the present moment and enjoy the time you spend solo or with your loved ones. Live in the moment and take one day at a time. Tomorrow will surely come, and you only have a limited amount of time in the present. Celebrate your challenges. Sometimes struggles and battles in our lives can weigh us down. But when you persevere and continue to push forward, you will find success. Challenges help you improve and strengthen your abilities
and resilience, so celebrate the progress you’ve made. Showing gratitude for challenges and negative experiences allows us to acknowledge humility and appreciate growth in our lives. Keep a journal. Writing down the things you’re grateful for will remind you of all the great things you have when other things aren’t going so well. So, keep a journal about what you’re grateful for each day or week — even if it’s just small things at first. Your perspective on life will change, and it will get easier to see the good things and to feel grateful for things you were likely overlooking. Showing gratitude is something we should do every day, all throughout the year — not just during the holidays. So, try to practice mindfulness and gratitude using these tips! Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!
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