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QUARTER 4 2023
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Has Your Family Discussed Estate Planning? HOW TO START THE CONVERSATION TODAY American families are facing a future crisis. A 2023 survey found that only one-third of U.S. adults have an estate plan. Though that statistic increases to 44% for those age 55 and older, it is still a wildly insufficient number that will lead to confusion and stress for many. Oct. 17 kicks off National Estate Planning Awareness Week, and it is clear that many need help understanding the benefits of getting their affairs in order. As estate planners, we have found conversations among loved ones are usually the best way to help people grasp what is at stake. Creating an estate plan is only part of the work — the process is not complete until the people who will execute your wishes know about them.
HOW TO TALK ABOUT YOUR LOVED ONE’S ESTATE PLAN Discussing your estate plan is often the perfect segue into asking family members if they have created their own plans. Try to remain casual rather than confrontational but anticipate possible pushback. Many people mistakenly believe they do not have enough assets to necessitate an estate plan, or they simply want to avoid discussing death. I’ve written a book, “Yes, You Need an Estate Plan!” to explain why everyone over the age of 18 should have some form of estate planning. You may find it helpful to recommend that your loved one read the book. The book may be ordered at attorneyoffice.com/resources/book . It is important to have these conversations with your loved ones — you care about them and want to see their wishes upheld. Furthermore, the courts could later select you as executor if there is no plan, or a failure to plan could lead to a future family fight. Your loved one’s estate plans (or lack thereof) will affect you. If your loved ones already have an estate plan, this is the perfect opportunity to get the details and confirm it is current. If they have not planned, you can explain why you believe estate planning is essential. A story about why you created your plan may resonate with them and serve as a powerful motivator for them to start the process. You may want to offer to help with a referral to an estate planner or any other way you feel comfortable. Having these conversations may feel scary, but most people feel relieved to get them out in the open. Starting is the hardest part! If you or a loved one would like to learn more about the estate planning process, remember we have
Since these discussions can be emotionally challenging, we have included some tips to help you get started.
HOW TO TALK ABOUT YOUR ESTATE PLAN Talking about money is uncomfortable for many, and discussing death is even more taboo. So, people commonly create estate plans and wordlessly set them aside for the future. Unfortunately, that strategy can easily backfire. A failure to communicate your wishes while alive can leave your loved ones confused, hurt, or slighted by your decisions. Those likely are not the outcomes you want. There is no time like the present to start the conversation. You might use a recent news item or life event in your family as a segue or simply explain that you recently updated your estate plan. It is often best to have these discussions as a group so everyone can be on the same page, but you know your loved ones best. Beyond telling your loved ones you have an estate plan, you may want to share more specific information such as who you have listed as your executor/successor trustee. Some of our clients share beneficiary names/ percentages, while others decide not to discuss that topic in advance. Be prepared for questions, especially if you unconventionally split assets. Answer honestly but gently, and be clear that your asset division does not reflect how much you love each person. Finally, realize that you may need a break from the discussion. It is okay to come back to the conversation later.
free upcoming seminars to help — you can find details in this newsletter’s insert. We hope to see you there and look forward to helping your loved ones find peace of mind.
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Here come the scary decorations, pumpkin carving, trick- or-treating, and spooky costumes because Halloween is just around the corner! These traditions are what make Halloween fun and exciting year after year. However, did you know that jack-o’-lanterns come from an Irish legend or that trick-or-treating comes from a historical ritual called “souling”? The Origins and Legends Behind Your Favorite Traditions
Reliable Information in Difficult Times YOUR LONG-TERM CARE ADVOCATE
As a geriatric care manager, I often consider how my work spans age groups. I have a photograph of my mom, my daughter, my granddaughter, and me — four generations of women. It reminds me that I help our clients both understand and access long-term care as a professional with a decade of experience as well as personal experience as a daughter. So much misinformation about long-term care options traces back to skilled nursing facilities. Though people who need a high level of care have the right to remain there, skilled nursing
As we prepare for Oct. 31 activities, here are some fun facts you might not know about Halloween!
HALLOWEEN IS BASED ON A CELTIC FESTIVAL. Samhain, a pagan festival held from Oct. 31 to Nov. 1, celebrated both the harvest and the “dark” second half of the year. During this celebration, it was believed the barrier separating the spirits from the physical world would come down, allowing demons to enter and the spirits of all who passed away that year to move on to the next life. ‘STINGY JACK’ HELPED EVOLVE JACK-O’-LANTERNS. The Irish myth of a man named “Stingy Jack” goes like this: Stingy Jack invited the devil for a drink, and because he didn’t want to pay, he convinced the devil to turn into a coin so he could buy their drinks. However, instead of paying, he placed the “coin” next to a cross in his pocket that prevented the devil from returning to his original form. Once he freed the devil, Stingy Jack continued to trick him. When he died, God turned away Stingy Jack with only coal to light his way, so he placed the coal in a carved-out turnip to create a lantern. From there, people slowly transformed his “lantern” into the modern-day jack-o’-lantern! CANDY CORN WAS ONCE CALLED CHICKEN FEED. Candy corn, which the Wunderlee Candy Company began producing in the late 1880s, is an extremely popular Halloween candy. In fact, today, about 35 million pounds of the candy are sold each year! When the Goelitz Candy Company brought it to the masses at the turn of the century, they called the sweet tricolored candy “Chicken Feed” because so many people worked on farms at the time. Their early ads exclaimed, “Something worth crowing for!”
facilities strongly discourage it because long-term custodial care isn’t profitable. Unfortunately, I’ve seen many instances of them lying, intimidating, and threatening with financial consequences so families will move their loved ones out of the facility to communities that cost more (no Medi-Cal option) while providing less care or to home where family is expected to provide the care — and countless people take their advice without knowing the truth or all options. Other misunderstandings occur because people don’t know where to turn for information. They use Google to try to answer their questions, but find information that’s confusing, outdated, or simply incorrect. Many families don’t know where to find an advocate to help them through this complicated and emotional process. So, they try to do it themselves, only to become overwhelmed or pay far more than necessary. My role is to be a resource for our clients who are navigating life changes and don’t know where to turn. When our clients or their families struggle with long-term care, I can ensure they understand all the options and choose one that makes the most sense financially, socially (support systems nearby), and provides the best care for their well-being. Unlike case workers at skilled nursing facilities, my only agenda is to educate families on all options available, and I have no financial incentive for clients to choose one type of care over another. I can’t erase the stress that comes with these types of transitions, but it makes me happy to alleviate some of the pressure. I find it particularly rewarding when someone I helped years ago comes back with new questions. It means I was successful the first time, and they trust me to have the answers they need again.
Now you know! Happy Halloween!
People only want what’s best for their families, and it should be much easier for them to access the information they need. But until things change, I’m proud to be a resource for so many and help them find peace of mind during a trying time.
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THE SCIENCE OF SLEEP
Tips to Overcome Age-Related Insomnia Few things make us feel better than a good
temperature (colder at night is better), and block as much light as possible. Quiet is also essential; try earplugs or white noise if sounds keep you awake. Our daily habits also play a crucial role in our nighttime experience. Failure to get enough exercise is one of the primary drivers of sleeplessness. If you’re not getting the recommended 150 minutes of moderate exercise weekly, it’s time to start. Contrary to popular belief, alcohol does not help sleep, but actively disrupts it, so avoid drinking in the evening. Large meals close to bedtime and caffeine in the afternoon also cause problems. Finally, develop a routine. Experts strongly recommend going to bed and waking up at the same times every day so your body forms a habit. They also urge avoiding screens like your smartphone or TV in the hour or so before sleep — using them in bed is a particular no-no. A consistent bedtime routine can also help signal your body that it’s time for rest.
night’s sleep. But as we age, achieving one usually becomes a struggle. Insomnia, or trouble falling or staying asleep, is so common among older adults that many believe they need fewer hours of sleep than they did in earlier adulthood. That’s simply not the case — all adults need 7–9 hours of sleep per night for optimal function. So, why do we have a harder time sleeping as the years go by? The biggest culprit is biological changes. Our bodies produce less melatonin over the years, making it more difficult to fall asleep. Circadian rhythm changes also inspire us to go to bed and wake up earlier than we did in the past. Medication, sleep disorders, or other illnesses can also interfere with our ability to sleep. Doctors generally recommend approaching the problem naturally at first. Research shows that building healthy sleep habits is often the best solution. Start with your environment. Ensure your bed is comfortable, your bedroom is at a comfortable
Insufficient sleep can lead to forgetfulness, irritability, and clumsiness, which makes falling and injuries more likely. So, don’t avoid addressing the issue. When natural tricks fail, schedule an appointment with your doctor to see if sleep apnea, restless leg syndrome, or Alzheimer’s might be a problem. A medical professional can help set you on the right course for sleep success.
JALAPEÑO POPPER MAC AND CHEESE
Inspired by TheModernProper.com
Colder weather means mac and cheese! Try this spicy twist on a weeknight classic.
INGREDIENTS:
• • • • •
2 sticks butter, divided
• • • • • • •
2 tsp salt
1/3 cup flour 5 cups milk
2 tsp garlic powder
1/2 tsp pepper
8 oz cream cheese
1 lb bacon, chopped and cooked 8 jalapeños, seeded and chopped
3 cups shredded white cheddar cheese, divided 4 cups shredded pepper jack cheese, divided
1 lb macaroni, cooked 1 cup panko breadcrumbs
•
CANDY COSTUME GOURDS HALLOWEEN HAUNTED MOON
RAVEN TRICKS VAMPIRE WEREWOLF WITCH ZOMBIE
DIRECTIONS:
1.
Preheat oven to 375 F.
2. In a large saucepan, melt 1 stick butter over medium heat. Add flour and whisk until fully absorbed in butter. Whisk in milk slowly. 3. Once sauce thickens, stir in cream cheese and shredded cheese until melted, reserving 1 cup of each shredded cheese. Add seasonings, bacon, and jalapeños before removing from heat, then combine pasta and sauce. 4. In a small skillet, melt remaining butter and stir in panko. 5. In a greased baking dish or skillet, add macaroni and top with panko and remaining cheese. Bake for 30–40 minutes and serve warm.
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Find Peace of Mind With an Estate Plan page 1
Your Trusted Resource for Long-Term Care Halloween's Haunting History page 2
The Secrets to Better Sleep Jalapeño Popper Mac and Cheese page 3
Create a Cozy Haven With These Fall Trends! page 4
EMBRACE THE ‘MARSHMALLOW TREND’ TO MAKE YOUR HOME COZIER!
1.
GET INSPIRED BY MARSHMALLOWS. Yes, we said marshmallows! According to interior designer Loren Kreiss, 2023 is the year of “marshmallowy vibes, rounded corners, [and] soft, cozy textures.” A study out of Oregon State University found that people feel happier, calmer, more comfortable, and even more hopeful in an environment with soft-edged furniture. With that in mind, you may want to invest in a round dining room table or simply bring out your chunky knit blanket and extra pillows. SWAP STERILE GRAY FOR WARM BEIGE. Grays can be beautiful, but they also tend to feel cold and sterile, especially when they dominate a space. This season, consider painting your “millennial gray” walls a warm, rosy beige to bring more life into your home.
furniture and decor to get a similar effect! A living room with gray walls and a gray couch might feel lifeless with a gray rug, but if you rotate that rug with a warm brown one from your office and add a plant from your dining room, you can revitalize the living area without spending a cent. 3. LEAN IN TO COPPER. As Architectural Digest once reported, “Copper lends a space warmth and depth but always feels modern” — and you don’t have to go all-in with a copper bathtub or range hood to get those benefits. Instead, consider trading the silver knobs on your bathroom vanity for copper ones or thrifting a few copper pans to display in your kitchen. These utilitarian swaps will add timeless elegance to your space.
2.
If you love fall as much as we do, here’s some good news: You can live in it all year long! How? Well, as we write this, the season’s warm colors and cozy shapes are trending in home decor, and you can use them to bring the autumn indoors. Here are three subtle ways to add the season’s comfort and ease to your space without breaking the bank.
If you have a gray-on-gray palette and don’t want to paint, you can also reshuffle your
Done right, these three trends will help your home feel warm, cozy, and fall-like all winter!
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