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GRAND Magazine Celebrating the joy and wisdom of modern grandparenting since 2004 GRANDparenting BY RICHARD AND LINDA EYRE

Welcome to "GRANDParenting"

I t is with great excitement and profound gratitude that GRAND Magazine presents this special collection of grandparenting wisdom from the renowned parenting experts, Richard and Linda Eyre. As grandparents ourselves, we understand the transformative joy and unique responsibility that comes with this special role. The GRANDparent Movement represents something truly powerful—a col- lective recognition that grandparents are vital architects in shaping the future of our families and communities. This carefully curated collection features the most impactful and beloved articles from Richard and Linda Eyre that have appeared in GRAND Magazine over the years. Their insights have touched countless lives, offering practical wisdom alongside heartfelt encouragement for grandparents everywhere. It was our distinct privilege to collaborate with Richard and Linda throughout this journey. Their dedication to strengthening family bonds across generations aligns perfectly with our mission at GRAND Magazine.

I personally invite you to explore these pages, reflect on their wisdom, and discover new ways to enhance your own grandparenting journey. Together, we can continue building the GRANDparent Movement and create lasting legacies for generations to come. With my best, Christine Crosby, founder (AKA Grandmere) with Juniper and Poppy

GRAND Media • www.grandmagazine.com • 4791 Baywood Point Drive South Gulfport, FL 33711 • 727-480-3601

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Introduction A ccording to Webster's, GRANDPARENTING is defined as the activity of being a grandparent: participation in the life of one's grandchild as a grandparent. There was a time when grandparenting was hardly considered "a thing" and grandparents were viewed as a nice addition, but not essential to a child's devel- opment. Now, however, with increased life expectancy, grandparents often have many more years of good health to enjoy their grandchildren and play significant roles in their lives and the lives of their families. While grandparenting roles vary across cultures worldwide, this e-book offers the experienced voices of Richard and Linda Eyre, who bring decades of wisdom to this important family relationship. Not everyone enters grandparenthood in the same way. Research indicates that nearly 95 percent of older adults with children become grandparents. Others embrace this role when adult children marry partners who already have children (becoming stepgrandparents), or by informally adopting a grandparent role for children within their family or community circle. Whatever the family circumstance, becoming a grandparent opens a doorway to new opportunities for connection, mentoring, and passing on values and family identity.

Table of contents

5 HOW TO LIVE

21 My four fondest wishes 23 Teaching basic values to your grandchildren 25 Grandparenting 101: the new frontier 27 Be a family gatherer 29 Be a world opener for your grandkids! 31 Being a financial facilitator 33 Being a secret-sharing grandparent 35 The extreme danger of entitlement attitudes

37 The joys of growing older 39 Good grandparenting: don’t manage, consult! 41 Connect your family 44 Grammie camps – quality time creates quality relationships 45 A five-facet review of your grandkids 47 Giving grandchildren grit— the surprising key 49 Being your grandkid’s champion 51 About giving advice and the use of duct tape 53 Grandparenting one-on-one 55 The joy of leaving a legacy 57 Deciding what kind of grandparent you will be

The Second Half of Life 7 Last will and testament 9 The power and teamwork of a “five-facet review.” 11 Grandparent gatherings 13 A brief history of parenting and grandparenting 15 The T.E.A.M. approach to proactive grandparenting 17 Deliberate, intentional grandparenting: how to make a difference 19 Grandparents more involved than ever before?

About the Authors Richard and Linda Eyre have been fortifying families around the world through speaking and writing since 1980. They've spoken in 45 countries, and their bestselling book Teaching Your Children Values was the first parenting book in 50 years to reach #1 on the New York Times bestseller list. The Eyres' other books include The Entitlement Trap , Grandmothering , and Being a Proactive Grandparent . They have been frequent guests on Oprah , the CBS Early Show , the Today Show , and Good Morning America . Learn more about Richard and Linda Eyre's books at ValuesParenting.com and explore their new online course " HOW TO LIVE the Second Half of Life. "

Copyright © 2025 GRAND Magazine. All rights reserved. No parts of this e-book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without express written permission from the publisher. Published by GRAND Magazine

4791 Baywood Pt Dr S., Gulfport, FL 33711 727-480-3601, editor@grandmagazine.com

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BY RICHARD AND LINDA EYRE HOW TO LIVE The Second Half of Life O ne thing we know for sure about all of us Grandparents — about all of us readers of GRAND Magazine — We are all in the second half of our lives. of us have been thinking about and writing about for a long time, and we believe we have some ideas, if not solutions — and we want to share them with all of you who read GRAND Magazine. And we are doing that through a new online course called HOW TO LIVE The Second Half of Life.

emotionally, socially, and spiritually to try to become the kind of people who grandkids can look up to and respect as well as love. So, who helps us to become all that? Where is the owner’s manual for the second half of life? When we were younger, most of us had mentors, teachers, and role models who could guide us, but who guides us now? Well, here is a unique idea: We can and should be mentoring each other. Hats off to Christine Crosby and her team at GRAND, who help us do that because the best grandparenting ideas will always come from other grandparents. The

“ As simple and obvious as that sounds, it deserves some deep and serious thought. The second half is very different from the first and coming to recog- nize that and deliberately making the changes that it allows can make all the difference. And may we let you in on a little secret that most of you have already figured out: The second half can be better than the first! We all know that because we all have g randkids! But how do we live the second half? How do we make the most of it? How do we re-prioritize and re-calibrate? But how do we LIVE the second half? How do we make the most of it? How do we re-prioritize and re-calibrate? Should it be more about relationships and less about achievements now? More about broadening and contributing and less about aspiring and compet- ing? More about being a consultant than a manager to our kids and grandkids? These are questions the two ”

Of course, we all want to be better grandparents, we would not be reading GRAND magazine if that were not

the case. But here is the interesting thing: Our tendency is to think, “OK, I want to be a better grandma (or grandpa) , so I better start changing and improving my grandkids!” In fact, if we want to be better grandparents, we need to start

best advice on preserving our physical and mental abilities will come from others in the same phase of life. The best motivation

changing and improving our- selves ! We need to become better listeners, better empa- thizers, better support- ers and cheerleaders,

to improve ourselves emotionally, socially, and spiritually will result from being in contact with other second-half folks who have figured out certain parts of it better than we have.

better empty-nest parents, and better leaders and unifiers of three-genera- tion families. We need to work on ourselves phys- ically, mentally,

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I (Richard) will lead the course, but of course, Linda will be involved, as will a half-dozen or so “Adjunct Professors” (Christine among them) who will respond to what I say and contribute their insights to the artful and joyful living of the second half of our lives. Take a minute, right now if you can, and click here where there are more details and where GRAND readers can sign up for free and par- ticipate as much as they like in the early, gen- eral stages of the course, which will begin this Spring. After a month or two, if you are finding it interesting and helpful, you can enroll in the full course. Remember, the point is to learn from each other, so feel free to pass this link on to any other second-halfers who you would like to see on the course with you.

The course is set up so that you can listen in or join in on your own schedule, whenever you want, on an app that allows you to comment and ask questions.

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best phase of all. The course is set up so that you can listen in or join in on your own sched- ule, whenever you want, on an app that allows you to comment and ask questions.

Through the HOW TO LIVE course, we want to make peer-to-peer learning more deliberate and powerful — an ongoing discussion group among second-halfers who want this to be the

of Grandparenting. Linda’s latest book is Grandmothering , Richard’s is Being a Proactive grandfather , and their latest

co-authored book is Life in Full. Watch for the Eyres’ new book “Grandparents’ Secrets” coming out next year.

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grandparenting Last will and testament

W e still call them our “last will and testament,” but what they really are today is just legal documents—a careful and often tedious list of what goes to who when we die. We have forgotten about the most import- ant part, the testament . The writing of a last will and testament dates back thousands of years, to ancient Greece and Rome, and it used to be much more than a who-gets-what list. Writing one’s will and testament once included a chance for persons to express not only their “will” about what would be done with their material possessions, but about the kind of lives that was hoped for their descen- dants, and the faith and values they would possess. In other words, the document was (and can still be today) a chance to express one’s full will or desire as to what should happen—not only to possessions, but to posterity. A “testament” can also mean a “testimony” of what you believe is true and important, of your faith and your values.

BY RICHARD AND LINDA EYRE

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“Don’t be in a hurry about it. No pressure and no deadline. Just get started, and write it in your own way and your own words. Add to it when you feel inspired or ready, and if and when it feels right to you, share it with those you love most.” Instead of letting your last will and testament be written by attorneys, consider writing at least the testament part yourself, in your own hand, from your own mind. One internet source contains the following ( lega- cyassuranceplan.com ): “This process (of testament writing) allows individ- uals to make a statement about what is important to them “…wills can include personal reflections, life les- sons, stories of resilience and hope, core values and moral philosophies. They serve as a vehicle for indi- viduals to communicate their beliefs, experiences and wishes to their heirs and future generations. “By incorporating these personal elements, estate planning becomes a means to pass on a legacy that transcends material possessions. It allows individu- als to leave a mark that reflects their unique identity, beliefs and values.” That sounds good doesn’t it. Not easy, but good. “Do we, ourselves, even know our deepest feel- ings and beliefs. The exercise of writing them down can be remarkably illuminating.” And here is another suggestion: Write it now! Even if you think you have a couple more decades to live. Why? Because sitting down and trying to write what you believe and what you value is good for the

soul—both your soul and that of your children and grandchildren. And if what you write turns out to be good enough, or if you like it and feel right about it when you’re done, consider giving it to your chil- dren and grandchildren now rather than having it read to them when you are dead. We all think our kids and grandkids know us—but do they know the deep- est parts of us? Do we, ourselves, even know our deepest feelings and beliefs. The exercise of writing them down can be remarkably illuminating. Don’t be in a hurry about it. No pressure and no deadline. Just get started, and

write it in your own way and your own words. Add to it when you feel inspired or ready, and if and when it feels right to you, share it with those you love most. Richard and Linda Eyre’s parenting

and life-balance books have reached millions and been translated into a dozen languages. As fellow Baby Boomers, their passion and their writing focus has now shifted to the joy of Grandparenting. Linda’s latest book is Grandmothering , Richard’s is Being a Proactive

grandfather , and their latest co-authored book is Life in Full. Watch for the Eyres’ new book “Grandparents’ Secrets” coming out next year.

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grandparenting The power and teamwork of a “five-facet review.” BY LINDA AND RICHARD EYRE

A s we write this column, we have just finished having dinner at a favorite Thai restaurant with one of our daughters and her husband. The purpose and the agenda of the dinner was to have a “five-facet-review” of their four children where we could think together about how each child was doing physically, mentally, emotionally, socially, and spiritually.

Our daughter and her husband took the lead in the discussion because they are the parents of these kids—they are the ones with the stewardship for them, they are the ones who know them best, they are the managers; and we are, if asked, the consultants. We had been the ones that requested the meeting/dinner/review, but we made it clear that we were there mainly to ask and listen,

that we loved those four grandkids they had given us so much that we wanted to know all we could about them on all five facets. The dinner conversation started with us telling them how much we wanted to support the two of them as parents and to follow their lead on what their children needed and on what parts of those needs, they wanted our help or involvement.

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swings, what upset her, how she handled victories and defeats, how open she was about her feelings. Social came next—her friends, her conversational ability, who she liked to be with, her fears, her exposure to social media. And finally, her spiritual facet—where her heart and her faith were and how she responded to the church they took her to. It was fascinating for the four of us to do this con- versational deep dive into this child we all loved so much. As the two of us posed questions, listened, and took notes, we learned dozens of small things at that restaurant table that will help us love her better, and we felt that our kids-the-parents learned from their own answers and analysis of their child.

The conversation never stalled, in fact it picked up momentum and energy as we went along. And we were just getting started. We went on to their other three children, and the dinner lasted nearly three hours. What could be better than having an “intelligence gathering and strategy session” among the teaching and management team that is lovingly assigned to these four special projects? We’ve decided to do an update five-facet-review with the team at other good restaurants every couple of months.

With that tone, we had an amazing and illuminating evening. We started with their oldest child, and they reviewed how she was doing physically—everything from her general health to her teeth, and everything from her music and athletic abilities to her problems or issues. The two of them seemed to fuel each oth- er’s thoughts and ideas. Our daughter would say something, and her husband would pick up on it and elaborate. We avoided any judgement or criticism, or even any advice unless it was asked for directly… We asked clarifying questions and took notes. Then we went on to the mental—how she learned and studied, her academic assets and liabilities, how she related to her teacher at school, her natural apti- tudes, what was easy and what was hard for her, where her interests and passions lied, her imagination, her creativity. Then on to the emotional—her mood “ ”

Richard and Linda Eyre’s parenting and life-balance books have reached millions and been translated into a dozen languages. As fellow Baby Boomers, their passion and their writing focus has now shifted to the joy of Grandparenting. Linda’s latest book is Grandmothering , Richard’s is Being a Proactive grandfather , and their latest co-

We avoided any judgement or criti- cism, or even any advice unless it was asked for directly, and we comple- mented them at every opportunity, and made even more of a point of praising this granddaughter and telling them how great she was and how much and how well they were teaching her.

authored book is Life in Full. Watch for the Eyres’ new book “Grandparents’ Secrets” coming out next year.

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grandparenting Grandparent Gatherings BY RICHARD AND LINDA EYRE P rofessional associations. Parents groups. Book clubs. Bridge clubs. Cooking groups. Walking groups. Extension courses. Fitness classes. Professional development courses. Sports teams and leagues, Group therapy.

We all do better when we gather with others who have the same interests and are working on the same goals, problems, challenges, and interests that we do. We learn from each other. We motivate and stimulate each other. We feel less alone in our worries and challenges and more motivated and encouraged by what others are doing. So why don’t we have more grandparenting groups? More gatherings and more good ideas and more discussions of how to do this important thing better? None of us want to re-discover the wheel. If there are good grandparenting and three-gen- eration family management ideas and solu- tions and patterns and plans out there, we want access to them. We want to hear how others are doing it. We want to become the best grandparents we can be by learning from other grandparents who may have more expe- rience background and resources than we do, or who just have a good idea or two that we have never thought of.

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THREE: Join us for a Grandparenting River Cruise where we will cover the same Masterclass topics but in the intimate and interactive confines of a cruise down the Rhine where we will get a chance to know each other personally even as we hone our grandparenting skills. Let us know if you are interested in this course, either this Fall or next Spring, by simply sending an “I’m interested” email to our pseudo- nym account DrBridell@gmail.com and we will send you details as they become available. FOUR: Simply think of two or three other grandparents who live near you and have grandkids roughly the same age as yours and go to lunch or dinner together once a month and talk about your grandkids—about how they are doing, about what you worry about, about things you are trying to teach them and fun experiences you are having with them. Brainstorm and learn from each other. Don’t try to figure out grandparenting on your own! Learn from others. Take courses. Get serious and get moti- vated. Be the best grandparent you can be. Nothing is more important!

” ONE: Start a Grandparents’ Joy School. Joy School is still going strong. With complete and easy-to-use lesson plans, stories, and games that teach preschoolers the physical, mental, emotional, and emotional JOYS of life, it works beautifully with grandparents as the teachers. Form a little group with two or three other grandparents of preschoolers and go here to get the tried-and-proven curriculum. TWO: Join us for a 5-session Masterclass on Becoming a GRAND Grandparent. This interactive Zoom course will be online every Wednesday evening in May and will be recorded for class members who can’t make it live to every session. In it, we will discuss the best grandparenting ideas, methods, and approaches from around the world… how to work in teamwork with your kids-the-parents…how to listen and communicate better with grandkids…how to pull everyone together and have the kind of reunions and gatherings that bond cousins and create synergis- tic relationships…how to support grandkids financially in ways that motivate rather than entitle…how to leave a The bottom line is that when we gather with other grandparents, we get better at grandparenting.

Don’t try to figure out grandparenting on your own! Learn from others. Decades ago, when our books Teaching Children Joy and Teaching Children Values were national best-sellers, we developed a preschool curriculum called Joy Schools where moms would form neighborhood groups and rotate teaching their collective kids. We found that while the mom-teachers loved the social/emotional lesson plans, but interestingly, they also LOVED the moms’ groups—just getting together and talking about their kids, their challenges, their family hopes and dreams. They said that when they got together, they felt more connected, more motivated as parents, and less alone. And guess what! The same applies to us as grandpar- ents. When we gather with other grandparents and talk about our grandkids, about what and how we want to teach them, about being proactive and involved without stepping on the toes of the parents, about our worries and concerns, and just about any good grandparenting ideas we have become aware of…we get more excited and more knowledgeable about the whole thing! Here are four good opportunities for learning and gath- ering as grandparents:

values and faith legacy that grandkids reso- nate with and respond to. Simply go here and sign up . As a reader of GRAND maga- zine, you can get a 40% discount. Just enter GP101 in the Coupon Code section on the checkout page and hit apply when you register.

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grandparenting A brief history of parenting and grandparenting BY RICHARD AND LINDA EYRE

P arents and Grandparents have vintage. Up until post-WWII America, “parent” was simply a name for someone who had a child, and “grandparent” was the noun for that parent’s parent. Neither word was used much as a verb, and the notion of putting always existed, but putting an “ing” on them is something of recent

“ What is fascinating to us is that Grandparenting now seems to be on the cusp of a similar kind of evolution and development.

an “ing” at the end so the word meant a skill or an art or science had not occurred to many people.

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Then in 1946, Dr. Benjamin Spock published Baby and Child Care , and the age of parenting as some- thing to learn and to practice started in earnest. Instead of something you did by instinct or by

to number one on the New York Times Bestseller list (the first parenting book since Dr. Spock to do so), this coun- try was hitting the heyday of popular parenting books,

GRAND magazine, as the only major national periodi- cal devoted totally to grandparenting, is on the cutting edge of this trend, and major conferences and courses like our Grandparenting101.com and Aaron Larsen’s GrandparentsAcademy.com and the Grandparents Week online seminars that it sponsored and we keynoted in September are starting to become more common. The interest in more deliberate, proactive, and differ- ence-making grandparenting has never been higher, and the perceived need to get better at it and work in effec- tive teamwork with parents in effective 3-generation fam- ilies is more evident every day. So may we say to you, as a reader of GRAND maga- zine, that you are on the crest of a very positive trend, and that the time you spend thinking about your grand- kids and about their needs, and about which of those needs you are uniquely positioned to help with, is time well spent. Hats off to Christine Crosby for being a catalyst of this with GRAND, to Aaron Larson and Grandparents Academy for pulling together the best experts in the field, and to all of you for being part of something that is becoming a movement —a move- ment toward better, stronger, grandparenting. Nothing could be more favorable for families, communities, and America.

magazines, and programs. Since then, the variety of sources for parenting wisdom has broadened out to social media, podcasts, and YouTube chan- nels. Every question yields plenty of alternative answers; if nothing else, parents don’t feel as alone or iso- lated as they once did. What fascinates us is that Grandparenting now seems to be on the cusp of a similar kind of evolution and development. Only a decade or so ago, “Grandparent” was just something you were when your child had a child, and most did it instinctively and often delightedly—exercising their “right” to spoil their grand- kids and thinking of it as their reward for getting through the challenges of parenting. But lately, with people living longer and being grandpar-

simply following the example of your own parent, it became a field of knowledge, or at least opinion, and it began to be defined as more than an academic discipline for people studying familial relationships and child development—it became a whole section in book- stores and libraries and something that most parents felt they needed to learn, and often felt guilty or inadequate if they didn’t. We were born about the time Spock’s book became a bestseller, so we have watched the develop- ment of parenting and the prolifera- tion of parenting approaches, opin- ions, methods, and plans for decades. Mostly, it has been a positive evolu- tion, with parents taking the job more seriously, thinking harder about how to

ents for decades, and in a time

when working parents and other demands on families suggest the absolute need for more proactive and supportive grand- parents, we are starting to use the word grandparent as an active verb, and grand- parenting as an essential skill that we need to learn.

do it best, and paying more attention to the growth and development of their children and the relation- ship dynamics within their families. In 1993, when our book Teaching Your Children Values was published, and with a bit of help from Oprah, it shot

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grandparenting The T.E.A.M. approach to proactive grandparenting BY RICHARD AND LINDA EYRE

T he interest in and passion for more proactive grandparenting is exploding. We find ourselves speaking to grandparents all over the country, and more than a thousand have enrolled in our online Zoom grandparenting101.com course. Grandparenting is where parenting was 60 years ago—it is becoming an art and a skill, and people WANT it. Let us give you just one example: The other day we were invited to speak to a group of CEOs of major companies in Houston. All of them were grandparents, and they wanted us to help them get better at it. Linda was busy getting ready for the wedding of our own granddaughter, so I (Richard) went on my own. The audience was full of questions and enthusiasm. Here is a brief summary of the evening’s discussion: Their answers to the first question ranged from “The old guy with lots of money” to “The lady with the big house and all those rules.” The second question got more interesting—they wanted to be remembered for their support, for their love, and for their deep interest in everything their grandkids did or wanted to do. Continued on next page “ ” I started off by asking them two questions, 1. How would your grandkids describe you? And 2. What do you want your grandkids to remember you for?

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dates and grandpa trips, and we reach them on their own communication preferences—text, facetime, and their personal social media favorites. As the A ssembler, we gather them for reunions, dinners, and get-togethers of all kinds with their cousins whom they bond with for life, and with their aunts and uncles who become parental back-ups. We assemble them electronically too, on Zoom calls or in Marco Polo groups, and regardless of distance, we keep everyone in touch and up to date on each other. And as the M atch, we support them materially and financially in ways that motivate rather than spoil them, that stimulate initiative rather than entitlement. For more on the Eyres’ grandparenting approaches and strategies, go to grandparenting101.com

Continue reading here

I had come prepared to suggest some even more specific answers to that all-important second ques- tion about what we want to be remembered for as grandparents, and I wanted to create four penetrating mental images that they would retain and that would influence their priorities and their paradigms in lead- ing and managing their three-generation families. So, I put this slide on the screen: I hope, as grandparents” I said, “that we can be remembered first for being part of an effective team with the parents, and second for being all four letters of T.E.A.M.—The T runk, the E ar, the A ssembler, and the M atch.” As the T runk, we are the connection between the

branches of our children and grandchildren and the roots of our ancestors. As we tell our grandchildren the stories of their great and great-great-grandpar- ents, we give them a sense of identity and belonging. Data and surveys prove that the most resilient and best-adjusted kids are the ones who know and con- nect to their ancestors. As the E ar, we ask and listen with great interest and without judgment. We want to know everything about how our grandkids feel, about what they like and what they want to be. We take notes on what they say in our grandparent’s ledger, and they know that we think they are unique and special and that we will always be there for them. We take them on individual grandma

Richard and Linda Eyre’s parenting and life-balance books have reached millions and been translated into a dozen languages. As fellow Baby Boomers, their passion

and their writing focus has now shifted to the joy of Grandparenting. Linda’s latest book is Grandmothering , Richard’s is Being a Proactive grandfather , and their latest co-authored book is Life in Full.

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grandparenting Deliberate, intentional grandparenting: how to make a difference BY LINDA AND RICHARD EYRE O K, the question is, are you ready to become intentional and deliberate about your grand- parenting? Are you committed enough to

for 40 years, and in Module A, we examine our pri- orities, our roles, the new opportunities and relation- ship changes that come in the “autumn” of our lives, and the tricky business of being effective grandpar- ents without stepping on the toes of our children the parents. For “homework” we explore and write personal Grandparenting Vision Statements. Also in this first module, we discuss long-distance grandpar- enting (when grandkids live far away) along with the importance of setting boundaries and finding a bal- ance between taking care of yourself and taking care of your family. Module B: Grandparenting Goals and Roles (by age). Being a good and effective grandparent of babies and toddlers is very different from being good with elementary age. And teens are some- thing else again. Homework includes a “needs analysis” of each grandchild and holding a “five- facet review” of each grandchild with our children and the parents. And we spend some time on the separate and individual perspectives of grandmas vs. grandpas—how the two roles differ and how they can work in synergy. Continued on next page

actually have a plan for what and how you want to teach your grandkids? Are you ready to, step-by- step, become the kind of grandparent that makes a difference—that improves the world for your grand- children (and creates real teamwork with your chil- dren to form an effective Three-generation family)? More and more grandparents are saying yes to these questions, and they are putting their effort and priorities where their mouth is! When we started the Zoom and online course Grandparenting101.com last year, over a thousand grandparents joined and will be participating in the class’s final module this month, and it is a rigorous course with a two-hour seminar each month and weekly emailed bulletins. Take a look at the follow- ing curriculum. Module A: The Higher Perspective, Priority, and Paradigm of More Effective Grandparenting. The first step in becoming better grandparents is not about changing our grandkids, but about changing ourselves. Many of us will be grandparents

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As a GRAND reader, we invite you to be a part of this movement and to partici- pate in this seminar in its beginning or beta phase. We are calling it Grandparenting 101 because it presents the most impor- tant and basic aspects of being a relevant and proactive grandparent. But it also goes beyond the basics and will make you one of the most competent and effective grand- pas or grandmas on the planet! So join us! Simply send your name and email address to EyresGrandparenting101@gmail.com and we will send you the various options for involvement and participation. And for additional support and ideas, please subscribe and follow our podcast Eyres on the Road (get it on any podcast app) and on our Instagram @RichardLindaEyre.

Module D: Smart Support. When it comes to financial help, sometimes we give more by giving less. During this module we explore the potential joys and pitfalls of assistance, inheritance, and money-help; and will tackle the difficult dangers of entitlement and initiative robbing and contrast it with the power and motivation of matching, sup- plementing, and monitoring. Homework involves creating your own Generation One and Three Financial Plan and developing an outline for a “Teamwork and what to expect” discussion with our children and the parents. Month/Module E: Values and

Faith. Whatever our own beliefs and values perspectives are, we want the best of them for our grandchildren. And we soon realize that values don’t just get passed on by osmosis—they have to be taught, and doing that effec- tively takes the right stories and ideas as well as the right example. During this module, all course members have the opportunity to order a set of one-a-month univer- sal values stories called Alexander’s Amazing Adventures which are absolutely brilliant for creating discussion as they are listened to together, making topics like Honesty, Respect, and Self-Reliance come alive and become approachable.

Module C: Deep Life Relationships with Individual Grandkids. No matter how many or how few grandchildren you have, the real difference-making work is not collective but one-on-one. In this module, we do a deep dive into creative ideas about how to get an individual grandkid to open up, how to build trust, how to know his or her real gifts, how to have real communication and memorable fun together, and how to make each one feel like they are your favorite. Homework involves creating a “Grandchild ledger” where you take notes on what you know and what you learn about each one, and a questionnaire for kids to keep track of their loves and dreams.

Richard and Linda Eyre’s parenting and life-balance books have reached millions and been translated into a dozen languages. As fellow Baby Boomers, their passion

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grandparenting Grandparents more in - volved than ever before? BY RICHARD AND LINDA EYRE I n the winter issue of GRAND , we talked about the new sense of a more proac- tive Grandparenting Movement that we feel developing around the world as we travel here and there speaking and presenting to families; and we mentioned the new online course we were about to start called Grandparenting 101. (See that article here )

Regarding this issue, we thought it was about time for an update on the course and on the movement, because we have learned a lot about the power and enthusiasm of Grandparents during these past few months. The bottom line is that there is huge (and ever-growing) interest out there in the art and skill of good, difference- making grandparenting

had a wonderfully successful launch and more than a thousand grandparents are now participating with more registering every day, and they receive materials not only from us but from several of the other “Grandparenting Resources” that was featured in GRAND’s last issue.

Grandparenting 101 is a six-month course with a Zoom seminar each month and weekly emails of materials and links that help us develop strategies and ideas for making a positive difference in our grandkids’ lives and in our three-generation families. The course

Grandparents can join at any time at www.Grandparenting101.com , and can choose to pay a modest amount to help cover expenses or to register for free if they cannot afford it. The curriculum is extensive, ( see here ) and has a special appeal to the kind of highly involved grandparents that subscribe to GRAND.

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We have been polling the registered course members, and here are some of the things we have learned: • All ages are registering for the course—from grand- parents who are in their 40s to many in their 80s—some with one grandchild (or expecting their first one) and others with 20 or more—and this variety lets us all learn from each other. • Over 80% are married, and many do the course together, but a significant number of single grandparents are registered. • Members are spread throughout the U.S., with just under 10% living in other countries. • 62% have at least one grandchild who lives more than 500 miles away, and 51% have at least one living within 10 miles of their home. • In listing their reasons for taking the course, 51% say they “Don’t want to re-discover the wheel on how to grand- parent.” 41% say they don’t feel they are proactive enough. 19% say they have a serious worry about a grandchild. And 35% say they feel like they are missing out and want to be more involved. • On the question “How important is Grandparenting to you?” 58% checked “Supremely Important, one of the three most important things in my life” and another 39% checked “Very Important.” • In ranking from 1-5 how close they feel to their grand- kids, with 5 being “extremely close” most said they were a 3. • 89% said they wanted to become more involved with their grandkids. 39% said they were very interested in pro- viding financial help that did not “entitle,” 78% in learning to give advice that did not step on parent’s toes, 75% in helping in-law kids feel part of the family, 71% in con- necting grandkids to ancestors, 38% in improving their

empty-nest marriage, and 92% in building trusting relation- ships with individual grandkids. • Course members also respond to questions like: What is your core goal as a grandparent? What is the most fun you have ever had with grandkids? What is the most important thing you want to teach your grandkids? How do you help them financially? How do you help them spir- itually or morally? What is your biggest current grandpar- enting challenge? What do you want your grandchildren to remember you for? What is the funniest moment you remember with a grandchild? What is the best grandpar- enting idea you have ever had? The bottom line is that there is huge (and ever-growing) interest out there in the art and skill of good, difference- making grandparenting! Hats off to Christine and GRAND Magazine for helping to meet this interest and providing a forum for the discussion of grandparenting issues and ideas. And for an even deeper dive into those issues and ideas, we invite you to register for the 6-month course (you can enter the course at any time because the classes repeat) at www.Grandparenting101.com .

The Eyres’ parenting and life-balance books have reached millions and been translated into a dozen lan- guages. As fellow baby boomers, their passion and their writing focus have now shifted to the joy of grandparenting. Linda’s latest book is Grandmother- ing, and Richard’s is Being a Proactive Grandfather , and their latest initiative is a Grandparenting101 Zoom course which has an invitation list that you can join by emailing EyresGrandparenting101@gmail.com

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grandparenting My four fondest wishes BY: ALMOST EVERYONE 65 OR OLDER H ello, my name is Almost Everyone, and I am 65 or older. Here are my Four Fondest Wishes 1. In terms of how I feel and how I think, I wish to stay feeling as young as I can for as long as I can. 2. I wish to leave some kind of lasting legacy. 3. I wish to be surrounded by loved

ones as I live the final chapters of my life 4. I wish for each of my grandchildren a safe and successful life.

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gradual, and long. Aging is inevitable, but my wish is that I can control its pace—slow it down as much as possible. Because I still feel like I have a lot to do and a lot to enjoy. Not to dwell on it, but I want to leave something behind when I go—some kind of legacy—something that makes the world a little better place, so that is the second wish. I want to be independent and able to care for myself as long as possible, but my third wish is that I can avoid the loneliness that creeps up on so many as they move into the “senior” part of their lives. I feel

that I can handle everything that comes better if those I care about and love most still care about and love me back. My grandchildren, on the opposite end of their lives, will live in a world I can’t even imagine, and my fourth wish is not for me but for them—that they will have the strength and the values and the faith to find their own joy and reach their potential. We have discovered a secret about these four wishes that we want to share (although many of you may have already found it). And then, we want to make a suggestion about what to do with the secret. Here is the secret: The best way to work on the first three wishes is to work on the fourth one. The Solution (or at least the beginning of one). We have been working with thousands of grand- parents to put together a grandparenting course. We call it Grandparenting 101 and you can see the curriculum here. And you can sign up and register for the course here. Hope you will join us!

Let me elaborate a bit on all four of those wishes Since I am Almost Everyone, I can be candid and tell you that at this stage, I am starting to feel my age. Little things mostly, but I’m aware that I can’t do eve- rything I once could, and realistically, my physical and mental peaks may have passed. I may be, as they say, a little bit “over the hill,” but it’s not always such a bad place to be—when you crest a hill, you can coast a little. My first wish is just that the downslope will be

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grandparenting Teaching basic values to your grandchildren BY RICHARD AND LINDA EYRE

” “ W e often overlook the fact that most of the values we want to instill in our grandchildren actually do have to be instilled . They don’t just transfer from us by osmosis—basic values have to be understood and desired, and grandparents are the best ones to help this happen in kids! Good values may be lived and exemplified in their homes but children need a separate, outside voice reinforcing, elaborating, and explaining the importance and the practice of certain basic values. It is a mistake to assume that kids will nat- urally and instinctively gravitate toward honesty, loyalty, responsibility, respect, restraint, and other values you want them to have. Teaching basic values has to be a deliberate goal of parents and grandparents. Today, we live in a world where strong, clear values are needed more than ever in children’s lives. Years ago, we wrote a book called Teaching Your Children Values , which became a national New York Times #1 bestseller. The reason parents liked it was its sim- plicity. It set forth twelve universal values and suggested that families focus on just one of them each month. The formidable challenge of helping kids to inter- nalize the values that protect them and govern their choices and their progress in life seemed more manageable when it was approached one value at a time, one month at a time. Today, we live in a world where strong, clear values are needed more than ever in children’s lives. And yet it is a world where parents are busier and more dis- tracted than ever before and where most of them would welcome grandparents who can step in and be influential and direct teachers of values. The twelve values from that book are as follows. (As you review them, ask whether their practice is one of the legacies you want to leave within your

grandchildren and whether the internalizing of these values is perhaps the best protection and stabilizing influence, and the most reliable aid in decision-making that they could have.) 1. Honesty 2. Loyalty and Dependability 3. Respect 4. Love 5. Unselfishness and Sensitivity 6. Kindness and Friendliness 7. Courage 8. Peaceability 9. Self-reliance and Potential 10. Self-discipline and Moderation 11. Fidelity and Chastity 12. Justice and Mercy

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The whole thing succeeded beyond our expectations. The stories are so compelling that kids don’t think of them as lessons—just as entertainment. Yet the designated value for each month comes through strongly, and kids actually experience the feelings and consequences of each value. These monthly values-stories are being used by parents around the world and today are also being used more and more by grandparents who take on the challenge of teaching their grandkids values. Now, what if you, in your role of grand- parent, were to focus on one of these twelve values each month with your grandchildren ? If that appeals to you, here is a simple, proven way to do it: First: After consulting with the parents, tell your grandkids that VALUES are about doing the right thing and being happy. See what values they can think of and make a list together. You can do this in person if a grandchild lives close enough, or by text or FaceTime or WhatsApp or Twitter. Second: Tell them you plan to talk with them about one exciting and important VALUE each month and that you have a great story

up a plan to work on and talk about one value each month over the course of the coming school year. Third: Order the monthly stories, which are called “Alexander’s Amazing Adventures,” at valuesparent- ing.com/alexander/. You can sample the stories there before you sign up and assure yourself that they will “work” with your grandchild. Fourth: Try to listen to each story with your grand- child early in the month and talk about it together. Then have the story on his or her phone or the par- ent’s computer so it can be listened to several more times as the month goes by. Stories are the best way to teach, and these are exceptional stories indeed. And they are about the most important of all subjects—namely the values that you hope will guide your grandkids lives.

After the book became a bestseller, we worked with a group of playwrights and artists who took each value and put it into an engaging story, full of music and drama and humor, aimed at kids between five and fourteen. They were produced as audio stories with the goal of engaging kids’ imaginations so pow- erfully that they would listen to them over and over during their designated month. Each monthly story follows a boy named Alexander and a girl named Elle as they face common, everyday situations, choices, and behavioral dilemmas—but then they morph into a Prince and a Princess in a larger-than-life world called Inland, where their values-choices can essentially save the kingdom. Kids, as they listen to the stories and the music, come to realize that the little things they face each day are actually the same as the big things that Alexander and Elle face in Inland.

GRAND is pleased to wel- come New York Times #1 Bestselling Authors Richard and Linda Eyre as regular columnists. The Eyres’ parent- ing and life-balance books have reached millions and been translated into a dozen languages. As fellow baby boomers, their passion and their writing focus have now shifted to the joy of grand- parenting. Linda’s latest book is Grandmothering , and Richard’s is Being a Proac-

to share about each one. You can start this right away, or, with summer coming up, you could get your plan together now—and then introduce the values when you are together during the summer and set

tive Grandfather , and their latest initiative is a Grandparent- ing101 Zoom course which has an invitation list that you can join by emailing EyresGrandparenting101@gmail.com .

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