grandparenting
You and your child are now parts of each other’s extended families. And your now-married son or daughter will (and should) devote most of his or her family time to the new spouse and new family. As we grandparents see this process clearly and accept it, we can be happy in our evolving role of involved, supportive, proactive grandparents who don’t overstep. The best way we know to get going on this consulting role and to make it pos- itive for your children, as well as for your grandchildren, is to invite your child and his or her spouse out for dinner at a very nice restaurant (your treat) and to have a very specific agenda that we like to call a “Five-Facet Review.” Steer the discussion along the following path: 1. We love your kids (our grandkids) so much and want to be a positive influ- ence in their lives, as well as a support and supplement to you as their parents. You are in charge, you have the stewardship, and we just want to explore ways that we can help that will fit in with your goals. Where would you like our help and how, at your direction, can we be part of your parenting team? 2. We know it all starts by really knowing the kids and understanding what they need and what you are concerned about, so we wanted to just sit here with you during dinner and take notes and have you teach me more about our grandkids. Then, I hope you will share with us what your worries are and how we might help. 3. If it’s okay, can we talk about each of the kids in a framework where we can organize our notes? Something of a “Five-Facet Review.” Starting with James, can you just tell me what comes to your minds about how he is doing physically, mentally, socially, emotionally, and spiritually? Just stream-of-consciousness about James, and maybe allow us to ask a couple of questions here and there so we really get up-to-date. 4. So, first, how is James doing physically? …
Richard and Linda Eyre’s parenting and life-balance books have reached millions and been translated into a dozen languages. As fellow Baby Boomers, their passion and their writing focus has now shifted to the joy of Grandparenting. Linda’s latest book is Grandmothering , Richard’s is Being a Proactive grandfather , and their latest co-authored book is Life in Full. All three of these are now on sale on Amazon.
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46 GRANDP arenting
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