grandparenting
late-teens, you want to transition into their consul- tants and their non-judgmental advisors, and perhaps their financial supporters for education and other worthwhile pursuits; and those earlier Grandparent Dates will set the stage for that. Tell them what a consultant is and tell them that your door or your text or email is always open to them and that you will always LOVE it when they ask for help or for advice of any kind. Tell them that you know their parents are always first, but you are the backup. And tell them you want to know everything you can about them, because the more you know, the more helpful you can be. If you don’t live close enough to your grandkids to have regular Grandparent Dates, carve out some spe- cial, individual time when
you are visiting their family or they are visiting you. And in the “between times,” get on Skype or FaceTime with them one-on-one.
Don’t editorialize too much during these date dis- cussions. Just ask a lot of questions and listen. And take notes. Use the great word “really” to keep them talking. You can say “really” so many ways and in so many contexts. “Really!” as in “Wow!” “Really” as in “Whoa, I never knew that.” “Really?” as in “Are you serious?” “Really!?” as in “What the heck!” With the appropriate inflection, that one word can keep kids talking and connecting. Have them make a list in your notebook of “things I am sure I will do in my life,” and “things I might do in my life,” and “things I will never do in my life.” When I (Richard) asked that last question to my ten- year-old granddaughter on one of our dates, I was hoping for something like “I will never do drugs,” but
she thought for a moment and said, “I will never ride a bike naked in public!” I said, “Really!?” and she said, “Yeah, because when we were in San Francisco, there was a parade and this guy rode by naked and I said to myself right then, ‘I will never do that!’” As your grandkids get into their mid- and “ “Get up to speed on whatever “language” they are currently using whether it’s Instagram or Snapchat or WhatsApp or whatever, and when they change, you change, and use texts as the constant.” ”
GRAND is pleased to welcome New York Times #1 Bestselling Authors Richard and Linda Eyre as regular columnists. The Eyres’ parenting and life-balance books have reached millions and been translated into a dozen languages.
As fellow baby boomers, their passion and their writing focus has now shifted to the joy of grandparenting. Linda’s latest book is Grandmothering, and Richard’s is Being a Proactive Grandfather .
54 GRANDP arenting
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