grandparenting Deciding what kind of grandparent you will be BY LINDA AND RICHARD EYRE W e have a blessing or a gift that no generation of grandparents before us has had. It is the gift of more time! We baby boomers (all 80
grandparents. There is no owner’s guide or instruc- tion manual. (GRAND magazine may be the closest thing you can get.) We all have a decision to make, a choice that will have big and lasting consequences: We need to each ask ourselves; What kind of grandparent will you be? And if we’ve been a grandparent for a while now, but not yet made that decision, now might be the time to make it. There are several alternatives, and each comes with a different attitude: 1 Disengaged Grandparenting. Attitude: I raised my kids and now it’s their turn to raise their kids; I’m done. This attitude might lead you to downsize into an adults-only condo in Sun City by a golf course where your days would be quiet but boring. 2 Limited Grandparenting. Attitude: I love to see them but in limited doses and on my terms. In this model, grandkids are like amusement parks; you go there once in a while to have fun. Or like dinner guests; you have them over now and then when it’s convenient. 3 Supportive Grandparenting. Attitude: My kids need all the help they can get with their kids and I want to be there for them. With this approach, you become part helper, part martyr, sacrificing your own life to be at the beck and
million of us in the US—and most of us grandparents) will live on average at least a decade longer than any other generation of grandparents in history. The ques- tion is, what are we going to do with those extra years. We have a lot of interests, passions, responsibilities and priorities. We have our extended careers; we have our sports and our friends and our hobbies and our travel and our music and our other personal interests; we have our finances and our investments; we have our causes, we have our bucket lists, we have our cars and our boats and toys, we have our politics and our clubs and our churches and our other responsibilities. We have our siblings and our extended families and some of us still have our own ageing parents. And we have our children who, even as adults, are still our children But none of us, when we really sit down and think about it, have anything quite as delightful and as joyful as our grandchildren. They are our flesh and blood. They are our pride and joy. And ultimately, they are our only real legacy.
Richard and Linda Eyre
How much of our time and our mental energy are we devoting to those precious and perfect little kids who carry our name and our genetics? And how deliberate and thoughtful are we about the time we spend with them, about what we can do for them, about the relationship we want with them now and for the rest of our lives? How grand is grandparenting? About as grand as we make it! We don’t get a lot of training about how to be
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How grand is grandparenting? About as grand as we make it!
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