― PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT ―
― PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT ―
A midst our hyper-busy lives, cultivating ‘white space’ (special times when our inner self can at last get a word in edgeways) will improve our wellbeing. To find out more, we talked to Clotilde Dusoulier, certified master coach and host of the Change ma vie (‘Change My Life’) podcast.
Does the way we manage our time have a lot to say about our aspirations, self- esteem, and personal fulfilment?
The way we use our time reveals as much about what we see as being truly important as the mo- ney we have, and about what we really want to invest in. Our time is the most valuable resource we have. It’s non-renewable, and we
I sometimes give myself what I call ‘quiet weeks’, when I do my best not to listen to podcasts, read, or stuff my inner self full of information or discussions.
Is the danger of going without free times like this that you fail to notice yourself?
That’s exactly it – these times of ‘white space’ can lead to thoughts that would never surface otherwise. It’s
Why can it sometimes be useful to bring time to a standstill?
don’t even know how much we have of it! The way we use it reveals whether we’re able to say no when we want to, practice self-care, and make wise choices. There co- mes a crucial moment when you have to be honest
Our lives are full of distrac- tions, possibilities, and op- portunities; people to meet and experiences to savour.
often at such times, when we aren’t busy doing things, that we can hear what our inner self is actually saying. And in quiet moments like these, doubts and feelings of dissatisfaction, pe- rhaps even resentment, can also emerge. Worries and anxie- ties surface when you give them space for them to be heard. To begin with, these thoughts can be uncomfortable, but the best thing to do is listen to them – otherwise, you could spend your whole life running away from them.
with yourself, when it’s time to walk the talk. A councillor who says that waste management is one of their priorities for their town and then goes on to cut the waste management bud- get year after year would soon be called out. If you believe your relationship with your parents is very important but you
That’s all well and good, because moving forwards and moving fast does us good in many ways. At the same time, it can also be highly beneficial to balance this push forwards with fallow times: times to think, times to play, even times of apparent boredom; times like this add depth to everything
else and put things into perspective. Most of us would have a lot to gain from intentio- nally cultivating ‘times of nothingness’, living unproductive moments to the full: they prevent us from being overworked, too. This kind of inac- tivity meets a real need in human beings that our modern lifestyles no longer make room for. If we don’t take back control of our per- sonal time and space – if we don’t decide to make our free time really free – it fills right up when we’re not looking; we end up being tired by our free time because it’s actually jam-packed with ac- tivity!
When people say they can’t stop, it’s usual- ly because if they do, they can hear their own internal questions; and in the short term, it‘s easier and indeed tempting to sweep them under the carpet. Moments of ‘nothingness‘ and of ‘white space’ reveal the quality of our relationship with ourselves. Cultivating them is the best gift we can give oursel- ves, and we should do so without delay. It’s a way of having a quality relationship with yourself that will make you more self-reliant as and when challenges arise.
In our capitalistic, Judeo- Christian culture, idleness is quickly associated with laziness.
haven’t called them for two months, something’s not right. Either that rela- tionship’s not as important as you say it is, or you should be giving it more time.
Your podcast has been listened to 25 million times. Do people need to learn how to get to know themselves better?
We have a huge problem running through our society: there’s no place for emotions. They’re seen as something to be ashamed of; something embarrassing and inconvenient, whe- reas in fact they’re right at the centre of our life experience. I have children, and I can see that things are starting to change in that respect at school: emo- tions are talked about more and more often. If emotions aren’t taken into account, though, that will have an impact on how we feel in our everyday lives and how we handle our pro- jects. In response, we’re offering tools to help people examine all the different areas of their lives; practising ‘white space’ is part of that.
But nobody’s taught us how to do nothing! I’m worried about getting bored…
It’s true that most people associate ‘rest’ or ‘nothing’ with boredom; they even see it as a waste of time, a kind of loneliness or existential
Putting ‘white space’ into practice
Most of us need to schedule these appointments with ourselves, when we don’t
plan any activities or set any goals apart from simply listening to what we want. When I set apart ‘white space’ for myself, that doesn’t necessarily mean spending several hours doing absolutely nothing. The idea is more to create a sort of time- out during which I don’t let myself be overwhelmed by my to- do list to the point that I suddenly find myself cleaning out the joints between the tiles in the bathroom! Instead, I ask myself what I want. To lie down on the sofa, perhaps? Listen to music? Sit a while, read, daydream, or go for a walk? The idea is to give yourself the gift of ‘me time’ to listen to yourself – and it’s inte- resting to take note of what you then choose to do. Personally,
void. But during times of ‘white space’ the idea is to try and learn how to enjoy simply living in the now. That’s not so easy if as a child you were told that you shouldn‘t be doing nothing. In our capitalistic, Judeo-Christian culture, idleness is quickly associated with laziness. Someone who does nothing is seen as being of no use and as having no place in society. They may even be seen as some sort of freeloader, and that’s just one step away from saying that they have no ambition or value!
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