No I am not. I hate to say this but I need to be truthful with myself and you. I feel terrible that Susan has given so much time, and put so much effort into this programme and I am so lucky to be part of it... And everyone else is so helpful and encouraging but I keep thinking? Was I really that bad? AND the answer is yes......Just because I didn't get absolutely parallactic and never sent texts or posted on facebook or the usual shite. I did ultimately piss myself off! I hate being drunk, to be honest I don't even like the taste of most white wine/beer I hate spirits and red wine.
So why do I still fear I am missing out?
There is just something I am missing and I don't know what it is. I have been on this journey now for far to long and I just need to find that missing piece. I love being sober. I love going and getting my kids late at night. I love the clear head, the clear skin - even eating the puddings or icecream that I wouldn't normally and I love the variety of drinks I can now have SO WHY DO I THINK God I could do with a drink?! I will do the hundred days I have before but I have never done 200 maybe I should think like that. Actually, I think I need to work more on my sobriety somehow! -C. Pledge 100 Tara- It’s hard when that part inside your head keeps whispering that ‘you weren’t that bad’ . When that voice comes calling add ‘yet’ to all the dark places it hasn’t taken you. I know from my own experience that I moved the goal posts many times regarding things I had never done and never would do.
We need to surrender completely.
I liken it to getting into a boxing ring with someone much bigger and more powerful than me…it will ALWAYS get the better of me. But when I ‘surrendered’ and threw in the towel and walked away saying fine, you’ve beaten me, you always will so I’m out and you can never hurt me again, as long as I stay out of the ring I’m going to be ok. If you haven’t done your list of ‘why’ then do one and keep it on hand and read it daily. You’re not alone in this thinking, and you are hugely brave to speak your truth so be proud of yourself. A lot of the ladies have done just that, when they got to 100 they committed to another hundred. Come to meetings and listen…that’s where I gained so much, and reach out anytime. We’re here for you x
-Linda McGrath-Redmond Pledge 100 Tara Leader -
HOLA SOBER | MADRID
Made with FlippingBook - Online magazine maker