Take a look at our January newsletter!
THE POWER OF SELF-LOVE AFTER HEARTBREAK From Doting on Everyone Else to Caring for You
Some days, it feels like you’ve spent your whole life taking care of everyone else: your spouse, your children, and sometimes the entire household. You may barely notice yourself or think
engaged. These simple gestures for physical and mental health are self- love in action. They speak to who we are, what makes us happy, and our willingness to do things that support our dreams, vision, and joy. It’s important for people who are going through a divorce or even just thinking about divorce to remember what it’s like not to always be doting on someone else. Think about your self-worth, how much you deserve to have things that spark good feelings, and what you want out of life. It can be as easy as starting a new wellness routine, picking up a paintbrush, or treating yourself to a new haircut. As we start a new year, one of the best resolutions you can make is to think about yourself and your health. Self-love isn’t selfish; it’s an essential part of healing and a growth mindset. By nurturing your own happiness and well-being, you will gain confidence, clarity, and the energy to live the life you want and truly deserve. –Ashley and Christopher Bruce
about what care would look like for you. After years of doting on others, it can almost feel foreign to ask, “What would make me happy? What do I want?”
Many women who come to us at the firm don’t practice self-love. A divorce or another significant life change might be the very first time they have thought about what happiness could look like just for them. They may have spent years thinking all about their husband, his wants, and how they can keep walking on eggshells so they don’t set off another argument. January is Self-Love Month, and it’s so important, especially when you are healing from a heartbreak, to reconnect with your needs and discover the passions that make life meaningful for you, not anyone else. Self- love doesn’t mean spending a lot of money or booking extravagant spa days that don’t really fulfill you. It’s a foundation to take care of yourself authentically and set yourself up for a bright and happy future. When women come into the office, we often talk about what makes them happy or what they envision their lives looking like without this person in it. As they think about what they want out of life, they usually start to smile. It may be going to the gym more, getting healthier, taking up an old hobby they love, spending time with family, or going to the salon. It’s really all about what makes them feel better and happier about themselves. For us, self-love means starting our work days with a trip to the gym. We make it a habit because it’s essential for our health, sanity, and ability to release stress and pressure. Sometimes, Christopher likes to take a few hours to reflect on life and think about the direction in which the firm is going. He’ll read books to keep his mind sharp and critical thinking
Ruby doing what she loves in Homer, Alaska
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When Toilets Were Taboo
STARTING OVER IS HARDER ALONE THE POWER OF HAVING A DIVORCE ATTORNEY BY YOUR SIDE Divorce is a turning point that can shape your future in ways you had never expected. Emotions can run high, decisions have a significant impact, and even the most amicable splits can get complicated. No matter how smart, skilled, and level-headed you are, working with an experienced attorney is one of the best things you can do for your divorce. Here’s why having a divorce attorney by your side matters.
THE RISE AND FALL OF THE HAYS CODE
In old Hollywood, even the simplest things could cause trouble. A silly sound effect, a bathroom door, or a joke at the wrong person’s expense might get a film pulled before audiences ever saw it. From the 1930s through the 1960s, studios followed the Hays Code, a list of rules meant to keep movies “clean” after scandals in the 1920s made Hollywood look like a bad influence. What began as an attempt to save the industry from outside censorship quickly turned into decades of odd restrictions. One of the strangest bans was the raspberry, or “Bronx cheer.” The harmless noise, created by placing one’s tongue between the lips and blowing, was labeled vulgar and lumped in with forbidden words like “lousy” and “cripes.” Even the famous Clark Gable line, “Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn,” from “Gone With the Wind” nearly didn’t make it past censors. Religion was another topic of strict censorship. Priests, ministers, and nuns could be stern or gentle but never the butt of a joke or the villain of a story. That’s why Bing Crosby’s Father O’Malley in “Going My Way” was always portrayed with a mix of effortless charm and reverence that kept him safe from censors. Childbirth was also considered improper. Labor scenes were banned outright, and even a shadow on the wall was too much. “Gone With the Wind” managed to slip in a softened moment with Olivia de Havilland’s character, but only after lengthy arguments with the Code’s enforcers. But bathrooms held the most absurd taboo of all. Toilets and the humor around them simply didn’t exist on screen. Then, Alfred Hitchcock released “Psycho” in 1960 and showed a toilet and a flush. Audiences had never seen anything like it, and the Code’s hold began to crumble. By the end of the 1960s, the system had collapsed, and the rating system we still use today replaced it. Looking back, it’s hard not to believe censors wasted their energy. What once seemed scandalous now feels tame, and the real surprise is just how many everyday things were once off-limits on screen.
PROTECTING YOUR FUTURE The divorce process can be complex to navigate alone, and an attorney can guide you through every step. One of the most important decisions during your divorce proceedings will be ensuring that finances, assets, and parental rights are fairly divided. Your attorney will know how to evaluate all your assets to secure a settlement that aligns with your goals and needs, increasing your chances of a positive outcome. If you have children, they are the most important factor of all. An attorney knows how to present your strengths as a parent, any evidence of mistreatment from your spouse, and what will ultimately be best for the child.
PREVENTING COSTLY MISTAKES If you sign an agreement without fully understanding it, it could cost you later. Once approved by the court, an agreement can be challenging to change or undo. A lawyer will ensure you don’t sign anything unless it is in your best interest. In the long run, it will usually be less expensive to work with an attorney and get it right the first time, rather than trying to fix an agreement later through the courts. SUPPORTING PEACE OF MIND Your attorney can help reduce a lot of the stress of divorce, from meeting deadlines to gathering the proper evidence. They will work to get you the best outcome and also safeguard you as much as possible from future disputes with a clear, detailed agreement built to stand the test of time. They are there to hear your story, guide you through emotionally charged decisions, and act as a resource to you.
Is your friend or client married to a controlling, manipulative, narcissistic husband?
OUR BOOKS CAN HELP!
The book can be downloaded for FREE at DivorceInformationBooks.com
You don’t have to go through this alone. If you want support and guidance through your divorce, contact us at Bruce Law Firm today to schedule a consultation.
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END THE EMOTIONAL LOOP WITH EMDR The Surprising Therapy That Helps You Move On
HOW DOES IT HEAL? Divorce trauma often involves loss, change of routine, fear, loneliness,
The end of a marriage can leave your mind replaying arguments, regrets, and what-ifs on a loop, making it hard to move forward. One therapeutic tool that can help you process your emotions and memories more effectively is EMDR, or Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. Unlike traditional talk therapy, EMDR uses eye movements, tapping, or sounds to help the brain reprocess memories and store them in a healthier way that can lead to healing after heartbreak. So, how does EMDR work, and what can you or your clients expect on this journey to heal past wounds? HOW DOES IT WORK? During an EMDR session, a therapist will discuss your history, learning about the memories or beliefs that are keeping you stuck. These can be specific moments, such as the memory of a heated argument, or a more prevailing feeling like “I’m not safe.” Once those trauma points and their physical and mental impacts are identified, that’s when the reprocessing begins. You will focus on a memory, and the therapist will guide you through bilateral stimulation, like following their hands with your eyes. Though it may feel a little odd at first, this helps reduce the emotional charge of the thought, building a healthier response. The therapist will help replace negative beliefs with more compassionate ones.
confusion, and feelings of failure. EMDR lets you process the memories so they no longer trigger such strong emotional responses. The process turns limiting beliefs like “I am a failure” into empowering affirmations like “I’m worthy of love.” It allows
people to let go of the energy-draining feelings keeping them in the past. It can also help people regain a sense of identity after being so entangled with another person. EMDR creates a safety structure to break unhelpful patterns and approach new experiences or relationships more securely and clearly. EMDR may be helpful for people who are dealing with lingering distress, intrusive thoughts, and emotional triggers or having trouble moving forward after a divorce. If you want to learn more about how EMDR rewires the way the brain processes trauma, visit BrucePA.com/therapist-interviews to watch our recent interview with EMDR therapist and founder of Helping Moon Counseling, Luna Medina-Wolf.
SLOW COOKER BIRRIA TACOS
BLF attorneys Jason, Ashley, and Christopher attended a forum club lunch
INGREDIENTS •
3 dried guajillo chiles 2 dried ancho chiles
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1 tbsp dried oregano 2 tsp ground cumin
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1 medium onion, chopped
2 bay leaves
4 garlic cloves
1 tsp salt
1 (14.5-oz) can diced tomatoes
Pepper, to taste Corn tortillas
3 lbs beef chuck roast
2 cups beef broth
Fresh cilantro and diced onion for garnish
2 tbsp apple cider vinegar
DIRECTIONS 1.
Soak dried chiles in hot water for 15 minutes.
Ruby practicing self‑love by spending time with her pony
2. Process chiles, onion, garlic, and tomatoes in a blender until smooth. 3. Place beef in a slow cooker and pour the chili mixture over it. 4. Add beef broth, vinegar, oregano, cumin, bay leaves, salt, and pepper. 5. Cook on low for 8–10 hours or until the beef is tender. 6. Shred the beef using forks, then mix back into the sauce. 7. Fry tortillas in oil until crispy, then assemble tacos as desired.
Inspired by SimpleWhisk.com
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1601 Forum Pl. Ste. 1101 West Palm Beach, FL 33401
Rediscover Joy in Your Own Life page 1
The Strange Rules of Old Hollywood
Your Chance for a Stronger Beginning page 2
Rewriting Divorce Heartbreak
Slow Cooker Birria Tacos page 3
Why Intentions Matter in Estate Planning page 4
AVOIDING INHERITANCE MISUNDERSTANDINGS BEYOND FAIR SHARES
When it comes to estate planning, many feel the simplest solution is to distribute everything equally to heirs and avoid the fight. That may look nice and neat on paper, but equal splits can feel anything but fair in practice. In a British Columbia case, a mother left her rental property to be shared between her son and daughter. The arrangement looked straightforward from the outside. However, the daughter discovered that her brother had already received close to $3 million in lifetime gifts from the estate, while her gifts totaled $120,000. She challenged the will, and the court agreed with her. In this case, a tidy 50-50 split didn’t square with the history behind it. Situations like this one show how sensitive inheritances can be. Families often read meaning into bequests. Someone who receives a larger share may be seen as being favored, while a smaller one can feel
like punishment. Even if an estate planning decision is practical, like leaving more for a child who needs it most, it can be misinterpreted and lead to resentment. That’s why families need to sit down and talk through these decisions together. It can be tempting to “settle it in the will” and escape the discomfort of hard conversations, but silence can often cause more pain later. Even if uncomfortable, an open discussion gives everyone a chance to understand intentions before it’s too late. Estate planning should be about more than distributing money. It’s also about preserving relationships and leaving behind clarity and a sense of love in inheritance decisions. Achieving this requires a combination of careful planning and honest conversations. It can be difficult, but you can gift your family assets and understanding with the right approach.
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