ministry and I know seriousness will be a very important element. I would appreciate any help you can give me. A. Thank you so much for your good letter. May I say that joyousness is one of the very delightful character istics of any human being. The more joyous we are, the more people are attracted to us. There is certainly nothing wrong in your being happy. There’s nothing wrong in your act ing a little foolish at times. As a col lege student, you’re going through a time of life when you’re still a little unsettled and may not understand yourself too well yet. You can ex pect some foolishness, and I wouldn’t feel too badly about it. However, some people are always acting the part of a clown because they’re trying to hide something. In psychology, we call it “compensat ing”—trying to make up for some thing on the outside that is not really there on the inside. It may well be that there are some things in your life which you don’t really want to face and about which you are not completely honest. You may have feelings of insecurity or inferiority, for example, and this is how you try to make up for these feelings. By jiggling around, talking and laugh ing, being facetious, and never really being serious, you want to hide your true feelings. How can you get over this? You’ve taken the first step by admitting that you have a problem. Secondly, if you think it’s serious enough, you should talk with a trusted friend about this in six or eight sessions. It could be a counselor, your Dean of Students, a pastor nearby, or some other Chris tian in whom you have confidence. As you talk over the experiences you have had as a child, I’m sure you will find a number of causes for this be havior. As you come to understand these, the foolishness will begin to lose its hold over you. You’ll find yourself becoming more genuine and honest. Then, of course, as you study the Word of God, the Holy Spirit will take control in your life. Even though you’re saved, it may be that you’ve never really been willing for the Lord Jesus Christ to take over in your life completely. I would suggest that you set up a good schedule for sincerely reading God’s Word each day, asking Him to impress upon your mind the thoughts you should have. As you have the mind of Christ, (that comes by reading His Word) and fellow ship with Him in prayer, I am sure you will develop the balance in life which God can mightily use as you serve Him throughout your lifetime.
talking it over... with Dr. Clyde M. Narramore
Dr. Ntrramore, graduate of Columbia Univorsity. Now York City, is a Rationally known psychologist. Ho is the director of one of America's largest psychological clinics — The Christian Counseling center in Rosemead, California.
out in little cliques or gangs. It may be that in such a group he has heard an older boy talk about matters of sex. He may be wondering what this is all about. This incident could rep resent a deeper problem, but you say he seems to have friends and is doing well in school. So I would not sus pect that is the case. You might ask yourself, “How is my son spending his time?” It’s im portant that you know with whom he is at all times, what happens after school and where he is going that he can get this sort of literature. Then I’m wondering how your communication is with this boy. Does he have comfort and ease in telling you how he really feels and what he’s doing? Is there a need for a better relationship with your son as well as an awareness of where he’s spending his time? Finally, I think you want to be careful that you don’t make your son feel guilty. One initial reaction of a parent in such a situation as you have described is to tell him how dirty this material is and how bad he is for looking at it. But doing that when a child is the age of eight or nine can instill severe feelings of guilt and a negative dirty attitude toward sex which will plague him for the rest of his life. How much bet ter, instead, to sit down and talk with him. Provide wholesome mate rial on sex education. This can be a positive experience in building good healthy attitudes about sex. FOOLISH ACTING COLLEGE STUDENT Q . I am a Bible School student. My problem is that I find myself talking, acting and thinking very foolishly. I just can’t seem to control myself. Al though I always feel convicted after ward, it seems as though I can’t build up enough conviction to keep me serious. I believe that people re spect a serious person more than a foolish one, and that they w ill pay more attention to what he says. But this does not seem to be enough for me. I am preparing for a full-time
NINE-YEAR OLD VIEWS PICTURES OF NUDE WOMEN Q . Your ministry has been a blessing to me, and I would like you to dis cuss a problem in our home. I ’m so stunned and scared I can hardly be lieve it has happened. Our nine-year- old boy came home tonight with a magazine full of pictures of naked women—such filth as I’ve never seen before! Is there something radically wrong with him? Does he need pro fessional care immediately? He does very well in school and seems to have friends. Please help me understand what this means and what action I should take. A. I appreciate your letter and the concern you have expressed about your own child. Actually this is noth ing to be stunned and frightened about. But it is something about which you should take action. We say in psychology that all be havior is caus ed by something. There’s a reason why people are be having as they do. Of course, I do not know why your nine-year-old boy did this. But there could be several reasons. It may be that you have actually taught him very little about sex. This could be his way of exploring and in vestigating. He may be trying to gain information. Perhaps he doesn’t understand much about a girl’s body and he’s now old enough to make in quiry. If you feel this might be the case, you should talk with him. Mrs. Narramore and I have pre pared a book called, “How to Tell Your Children About Sex.” I would suggest that you get a copy, read it, and then have several conversations with your son. This incident may be his bid to discover how the human body functions. What a marvelous opportunity this can be for you to draw him close to the Lord! It’s won derful to realize that God has fash ioned our bodies as He has. Now, also, by the time a person is nine years of age, and in about the fourth grade, he is usually getting
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THE K IN G 'S BUSINESS
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