IT’S UPON US,THE STORM HAS ARRIVED Illustrated by Samantha Hahn
The room goes black, and then a few lights illuminate the banners flanking either side of the stage as three figures emerge from the thick smoke. Drain Gang 6 . Bass erupts and the three of them leap to the lower level of the stage, and I’m carried for- ward as the crowd rushes the Swedish Superstars. As I’m nearly thrown off my feet, time stops. The stinky savants to my right have their arms raised high, and I have to blink a few times before realizing there in fact is a mirage emanating from their pits. The vagrants ahead of Stink Squad are knocked out cold as if they’d just had mustard gas deployed on them. The Olds of the crowd, ill equipped for the hysteria, are catapulted forward. They choke on their “this happens at every show thanks to Travis Scott,” as their doubles shower the crowd and prep the floor for a Well Drink Slip’n’Slide. Ahead of me is something wholly unlike anything I’ve seen before. The kids high on nicotine and maybe DMT have hoisted one friend in the air — his arms fanned to his sides, his face is spotlit from the stage.
It’s here. It’s finally here. The moment we have all been waiting for. It can be easy to be swept away in the early moments of chaos and calamity. In the presence of an otherworldly power, it is easy to sur- render to its natural force and pull, but we must stand our ground. “It’s like when The Beatles came to America,” I hear some- one grumble from the crowd to my right. I turn to see him scanning his friend’s reactions from behind a pair of dark wrap around shades (thrifted, but little does he know, they’re actually Shein). I must be the oldest (25) in this crowd (median age of 21). How do all of you (unemployed) afford all of this Heaven by Marc Jacobs? It’s the Swedish Invasion, and tonight at the Hollywood Palladium is like the Normandy landings, but swap out the Allied Forces for around 4,000 drainers. The same guy from earlier is now passing around shooters of Bombay Sapphire to his comrades, preparing for battle.That’s not the only deadly weapon these kids wield. Scratch that, it’s the un wielding of a stick of Old Spice that’s equipped them with their deadliest weapon. To my left, I see possibly the only attendees in the crowd that might be older than me. All of them are holding cocktails. They’re definitely older than me, because they all ordered dou- bles. That’s about $35 a drink. I only have a single. Ahead of me is a group of kids—and when I say kids, I liter- ally mean it—passing around a Strawberry Pom Flum vape and another vape which may or may not be DMT.
— Nate Rynaski
6 Nothing sexier than a wad of hair in the drain, hey? Especially after you’ve been through a rip roaring storm. See, the alternative hip-hop group Drain Gang originated in Stockholm, Sweden, in 2013. Drain Gang members include Bladee, Ecco2K, Thaiboy Digital, and Whitearmor. The group explores the word ‘drain’ as both good and bad. Drain represents the flow of ups and downs.
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