The Tempest Issue-Emma Ch

15.It’s hot hot hot, Day 15! An LH spike is bringing your basal body temperature up. If you’re anemic, this may be the only time you aren’t cold! Enjoy. 16.You’re still fertile, Day 16, and that means you’re on the hunt for a more virile partner. Avoid men with the Gardasil vaccine, Instagram accounts, or living fathers. 17.No one can stop you, Day 17. Do something weird and perma- nent to your

your boyfriend and have a meltdown for some reason if he likes it. 22.Time to go into hiding, Day 22. Your hormones are down, but your libido is back, thanks to some extra nerve activity down there. You feel no shame—this could be a good time to set up a premium Pornhub account with your company card!

23.You’re not crazy, Day 23! Well you are crazy, but the extra proges- terone is also making your boobs bigger. Try showing them to a male friend you haven’t seen in years but you think 24.Still rid- ing the short bus, Day 24? That’s be- cause God put you on earth to procreate and you failed! 25.You’re feeling a little woozy. If you have dental insurance, gnaw on a cast-iron pan. is in love with you. 26.Here come some glyco- gen-rich se- cretions, Day 26. Gross!

apartment! You weren’t getting the security deposit back anyway. Your egg is dead. ovulated and your estrogen has fallen back to the depths of hell. You’re 18.Sorry, Day 18. You overreacting. This is a bad time to drive. 19.Are there globs of cloudy mucus falling out of your pussy, Day 19? That’s because your corpus luteum (little egg bed) has killed itself. I shouldn’t have to say this, but

don’t take a picture and show it to your doctor! It’s totally normal, and he will be disgust- ed. 20.Ever read Flowers for Algernon , Day 20? (You’re retarded again.) 21.Your progesterone’s falling, Day 21, and you’re a sleepy baby. This is a good time to try a butt plug on

27.You’re hideous, Day 27! This is a great time to start being on-time to work. 28.It’s pain time, Day 28. Don’t be afraid to take it out on your loved ones! You’re feeling a little anti-semitic, but that has nothing to do with this.

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